Codependency,symptoms and causes

Codependency,symptoms and causes

What is the codependency?

In an important article published " on medicalnewstoday "  Co-dependency  was defined as a disease of loss of self, where it describes the behaviors and attitudes of a person who often builds his identity around helping others, where he may "depend" on others to prove his self-worth. The dependent person may deny his desires or emotions in order to obtain this consent

"Relationship addiction is characterized by distress and intense dependence - emotional, social, and sometimes physical - on another person." 

Likewise, the person with Codependency may find himself involved in a relationship in which his primary role is to rescue, help, or provide the other party with confidence. 

This type of dependency person feels its value by satisfying the needs of the other party, puts the needs of the other party in front of his eyes and is fully occupied with it. A time when he might ignore his personal needs.

What makes a codependent person vulnerable to falling into a toxic relationship with manipulative people, such as a narcissist who is attracted to such a personality in order to gain control and excessive interest with someone who denies himself in favor of the person in control of the relationship

Common symptoms of a Codependent personality include: 

 Low self-esteem:

Reliance on others can cause shame and worthlessness. A person may think that they do not deserve happiness. If the person does not appreciate himself, he may try to convince others that he does. Feeling "that others need them" can lead to their feelings of inner fulfillment, even if the caregiver is not showing gratitude for them.

Weak boundaries:

Often codependent people feel responsible for the happiness of others. They can have a hard time saying "no" or putting their own needs first. They may hide their true thoughts and feelings to avoid disturbing others. 

 The need to "save" others:

People who depend on others may feel that it is their duty to protect their loved ones from all harm. If a loved one does something wrong, they will likely try to fix the situation on their behalf. Such behavior can prevent others from becoming independent or learning from their mistakes Even if they had to ignore their morals or conscience to do what the other person wanted.

Control problems:

 Codependent may relate their self-worth to the well-being and behavior of others. If a loved one fails, the codependent may feel as though they have failed themselves. Their attempts to improve the lives of others may turn into controlling or possessive behavior.

What causes a person to become codependent?

Codependency is often rooted in childhood. Often times, the child will grow up in a household where his emotions are ignored or punished. This emotional neglect can lead to low self-esteem and a child's sense of shame. And he may think that his needs are not worth taking care of. 

 And when one or both of the parents do not perform the roles of the shepherd, and this dysfunction they have is due to addiction or abandonment of the home or disease that hinders him from performing his role. The child may need to perform tasks beyond his or her ability to grow. 

For example, if one of the parents is absent from the house on a regular basis and is unable to provide for expenses or prepare food, then the young child may learn to cook so that the family does not feel hungry. Or go out to work in order to make money

Often the line between a child and an adult becomes blurred. If a parent does not play a role, the child may become the pseudo-parent of his siblings. He might change the younger brother's diapers or he might help the sister finish her homework. Sometimes a child is expected to take care of one of his parents. 

A parent who experiences domestic violence may treat a child as a close friend. Children may be taught that their special needs are less important than the needs of their parents, or that they are not important at all. In these types of families, the child may be taught to focus on the needs of the parents and never think about themselves.

Parents may teach their children that they become selfish or greedy if they think about themselves. As a result, the child learns to ignore his own needs and only thinks about what he can do to satisfy his parents Since children are not fully grown up, filling the "adult" role can take all their effort. 

The child may be so focused on keeping the family without collapse that he ignores his own needs. Consequently, the caregiver role may be linked to feelings of stability and control. 

 As a child, codependent behaviors can be essential to survival. In adulthood, the behaviors are not adaptable. In fact, interdependence behavior can prevent a person from developing truly stable, healthy relationships.

So what is the solution?

• Codependents, on their journey to recovery, may need to find a hobby or activity that they enjoy outside of the pattern of only caring about the needs of others.

• The Codependent should try to spend time with supportive family members or friends Individual or group therapy through contact with a specialist psychiatrist is very helpful for people with dependent traits as a psychiatrist can help them find ways to acknowledge and express their feelings that may have been buried since childhood.

• People who have been abused will need to learn about past abuse and start feeling their needs and emotions again.

• Both parties in a relationship of mutual dependence must learn to recognize certain patterns of behavior, such as "the person's need to be needed" and expecting the other person to focus their life around them.

• These steps are not easy to take, but they are well worth the effort to help each-other  to discover how to create a balanced relationship with mutual satisfaction and a healthy personal space that allows for independence within that relationship.

Sources:

goodtherapy.org 

medicalnewstoday.com