6 Tips To Respond To Destructive Criticism

6 Tips To Respond To Destructive Criticism

6 Tips To Respond To Destructive Criticism

6 Tips To Respond To Destructive Criticism

Nobody likes to be criticized, but some people are better than others at hearing criticism clearly and then using that criticism for their own benefit. Truth: Whether criticism or feedback is destructive or constructive is entirely up to you. If you use it to learn something about yourself or the other person, it is constructive. If you hit yourself on the head with it, it's devastating.

But it is necessary to tame your inner voice to protect yourself from potential harm as a result of others criticizing you. Being surrounded by people who don't support or frustrate you too much can exacerbate your negative self-talk. 

Instead of trying to minimize the impact of criticism, or succumb to it as a fiat accompli, I think you should try to maximize the benefit of it. In other words, you should try to get something out of it. That's what you do.

1.Don’t shut down when exposed to criticism. 

Just because someone calls you by a name they don't like. This does not mean that you automatically accept the other person's comment as an absolute truth. And don't build a case against yourself. Some people, when criticized, let that criticism raise their self-doubt to high alert. A small voice from their negative past begins by saying, "I knew it. I'm not good at it, and I never would." So "Stop!" If you go down that road, it won't help you get better. It will keep you stuck in a deep well of self-doubt.

2. Evaluate the source of criticism.

While some critics really try to be helpful (aka "constructive criticism"), other critics may simply enjoy disappointing others. Criticism sometimes reflects the critic's own mistrust. I had a manager lashing out at his employees whenever senior officials were reviewing his budget. Another common phenomenon is "projection," in which the critic casts his faults on others by making stinging criticisms about things that are not theirs.

Even though you don't really know what another person is thinking, it's easier to take advantage of criticism when you know what's behind the other person's criticism of you.

3. Resist the temptation to fight back when you are criticized. 

It seems natural to stand up for yourself or counterattack when you get criticized, but that doesn't work. You learn nothing and you gain nothing. Don't automatically assume that the other person is mean or harmful. Don't automatically assume it needs correction.

Counterattacks do not help the situation and may only lead to more misunderstanding and congestion, but if you respond correctly to criticism, there is a lot to be gained from criticism. You just have to see criticism as part of your education process. As the poet Robert Frost said, “Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your confidence.”

4. Listen and ask questions. 

You cannot derive value from criticism if you do not hear it correctly or do not understand what is actually being said. When you are criticized, ignore the voice in your mind that jumps to conclusions about what the criticism means. Instead, listen carefully to the nuances. Repeat what you heard and ask for more details. Make sure you understand exactly what you are being told. The more clearly you understand, the easier it is to evaluate criticism and know how to take appropriate action

5. Clarify the real issue. 

For example, a marital quarrel over which sofa to buy may not be a quarrel over furniture. Most likely, it comes down to who makes the decisions or who are the most important preferences. If you make the mistake of thinking the fight is about furniture, you'll be fighting the same battle next week over dining room chairs. Clarifying the problem may require some real research.

You may need to stop and ask yourself, "Why am I angry or defensive?" Or you may need to ask the person criticizing you how they feel, what led them to criticize you, and how your behavior affects them. Just make sure your illustration takes you to the right place

6. Practice detachment when necessary.

This may mean giving yourself a cool-down period before responding to criticism. A few hours or a few days may give you the time you need to be more objective about the issues while you sort out the truth in your situation. After all, if you respond to criticism by saying a few things that you later regret, you're somewhat stuck. Even if you say you're sorry, the other person will always wonder whether or not you really meant what you said originally.

Detachment doesn't mean you're cold or unfeeling. You only realize that you and the other person are separate people with different feelings and needs. The more you remember it, the easier it is to stay calm and maintain respect for the other person.

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Depression and Anxiety: Symptoms & Copying strategies

Depression and Anxiety: Symptoms & Copying strategies

Depression and Anxiety: Symptoms & Copying strategies

Depression and Anxiety: Symptoms & Copying strategies  

The Connection Between Depression and Anxiety

Depression and anxiety can occur at the same time. In fact, it is estimated that 45 percent of people with one mental health condition meet the criteria for two or more disorders. One study found that half of a trusted source for people with anxiety or depression had the other condition.

Although each condition has its own causes, they may share similar symptoms and treatments

What is depression?

Feeling down from time to time is a normal part of life, but when emotions such as hopelessness and despair take hold and just won’t go away, you may have depression. More than just sadness in response to life’s struggles and setbacks, depression changes how you think, feel, and function in daily activities. It can interfere with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and enjoy life. Just trying to get through the day can be overwhelming.

What is Anxiety disorder 

"anxiety disorder" refers to specific psychiatric disorders that involve extreme fear or worry, and includes generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panic disorder and panic attacks, agoraphobia, social anxiety disorder, selective mutism, separation anxiety, and specific phobias

What are the symptoms of each condition?

Some symptoms of depression and anxiety overlap, such as problems with sleep, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. But there are several key differences that help distinguish between the two.

Depression Symptoms 

• Depression varies from person to person, but there are some common signs and symptoms
• Decreased energy, chronic fatigue, or feeling sluggish frequently
• Difficulty concentrating, making decisions, or recalling
• Pain, aches, cramps, or gastrointestinal problems without any clear cause
• Appetite or weight changes
• Sleep changes, waking early, or oversleeping
• Loss of interest or no longer finding pleasure in activities or hobbies
• Persistent feelings of sadness, anxiety, or emptiness
• Feeling hopeless or pessimistic
• Anger or irritability, or restlessness
• Feeling guilty or experiencing feelings of worthlessness or helplessness
• Thoughts of death or suicide
• Suicide attempts

Anxiety Symptoms 

Everyone’s experience of anxiety disorders is different. Not everyone who has an anxiety disorder will experience the same symptoms.

• Feeling fatigued easily
• Difficulty concentrating or recalling
• Muscle tension
• Racing heart
• Grinding teeth
• Sleep difficulties, including problems falling asleep and restless, unsatisfying sleep
• Restlessness, irritability, or feeling on edge
• Anger or irritability, or restlessness
• Uncontrollable over-thinking,

Coping Strategies

Try these when you're feeling anxious or Depressed :

• Take a time-out. Practice yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage, or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps clear your head.

• Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand.

• Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks.

• Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest.

• Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health.

• Breath Exercise : Close your mouth and quietly inhale through your nose for 4 counts. Then hold your breath for 7 counts. Finally, exhale very slowly so that it takes a total of 8 counts to return to the bottom of your breath

• Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn't possible, be proud of however close you get.

• Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?

• Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

• Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.

• Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, and look for a pattern.

• Talk to someone. Tell friends and family you’re feeling overwhelmed, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help.

Sources:

adaa.org

helpguide.org

healthline.com

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4 Powerful job Interview Tips

4 Powerful job Interview Tips

4 Powerful job Interview Tips

4 Powerful job Interview Tips

Interviews are your chance to sell your skills and abilities. 

They also give you a chance to find out if the job and company are right for you. Follow the tips here to ace your interviews.

Interview Tips

Here are some job interview tips that can help you interview effectively. Proper preparation will help alleviate some of the stress involved in the job interview and position you for a positive and successful interviewing experience.

1-  Review common interview questions. 

Practice answering them with someone else or in front of a mirror. Come prepared with stories that relate to the skills that the employer wants, while emphasizing your:

• Strengths
• Willingness to work and flexibility
• Leadership skills
• Ability and willingness to learn new things
• Contributions to the organizations in which you have worked or volunteered
• Creativity in solving problems and working with people

Figure out in advance how well you qualify for the job. For each requirement listed in the job posting, write down your qualifications. This can show you if you lack a particular skill. Plan how you will address this in the interview so you can convince the interviewer that you can learn the skill.

Make a list of questions that you would like to ask during the interview. Pick questions that will demonstrate your interest in the job and the company. This might include commenting on the news you learned from the company website, and then asking a question related to it. Also ask questions about the job you will be expected to perform, like:

• What are the day-to-day responsibilities of this job?
• How will my responsibilities and performance be measured? By whom?
• Could you explain your organizational structure?
• What computer equipment and software do you use?
• What is the organization's plan for the next five years?

2- Be prepared

 Remember to bring important items to the interview:

• Notebook and pens
• Extra copies of your resume and a list of references
• Copies of letter(s) of recommendation, licenses, transcripts, etc.
• Portfolio of work samples

On the day of the interview, remember to:

• Plan your schedule so you arrive 10 to 15 minutes early.
• Go by yourself.
• Look professional. Dress in a manner appropriate to the job.
• Leave your MP3 player, coffee, soda, or backpack at home or in your car.
• Turn off your cell phone.
• Bring your sense of humor and SMILE!

3- Display confidence during the interview 

but let the interviewer start the dialogue. Send a positive message with your body language.

• Shake hands firmly, but only if a hand is offered to you first.
• Maintain eye contact.
• Listen carefully. Welcome all questions, even the difficult ones, with a smile.
• Give honest, direct answers.
• Develop answers in your head before you respond. If you don't understand a question, ask for it to be repeated or clarified. You don't have to rush, but you don't want to appear indecisive.

4- End the interview with a good impression.

 A positive end to the interview is another way to ensure your success.

• Be courteous and allow the interview to end on time.
• Restate any strengths and experiences that you might not have emphasized earlier.
• Mention a particular accomplishment or activity that fits the job.
• If you want the job, say so!
• Find out if there will be additional interviews.
• Ask when the employer plans to make a decision.
• Indicate a time when you may contact the employer to learn of the decision.

Don't forget to send a thank-you note or letter after the interview.

Source: careeronestop.org

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