Sings of toxic people and how to deal with them

Sings of toxic people and how to deal with them

Sometimes people just aren't in the right place to be a good friend, or there's a personality clash that means you bring out the worst in each other. Other times, though, that person just doesn't want the best for you. Yes, it's horrible but true.

So what are the signs that someone in your life could be toxic?

When your inner child has been conditioned to feel inferior, defective and just not enough, it is nearly impossible to value how you FEEL when you spend time with another person. 

In fact, if you are like most people who felt invisible growing up, you might deny you have any feelings at all about anything and find yourself scurrying around seeking approval while fearing negative outcomes.

If you tend to focus on others, how they feel, what they think what they need, and what they say, you might not be attuned with what is going on inside of you. Within each of us is a divine guidance system that sends us signals that allow us to know it is time to pay more attention to what is happening outside of us by the way we feel on the inside.

A toxic person might not say, "Hey friend, you are doing amazing. Your life looks like you are really taking off. Your relationship is on point and I can tell your partner really respects you. You are such a positive person, and you are humble too. Everything you do is sprinkled with your love and it is just awesome to know someone who is as kind as you" and in fact, they might not say anything at all.

Toxic friends, partners, and family members withhold affection, attention, and praise as a way to keep you in check. 

Toxic people live in fear of you thinking you're good and prefer that you keep seeking their approval and live in fear of never getting it.

Pay attention to how you feel when you are around someone who has a hard time acknowledging you and something you've accomplished that is really awesome. 

If it feels like you are being ignored or devalued on purpose, most likely this is a sign you should not ignore.

How to deal with toxic person:

Avoid playing into their reality

Some people have a tendency to see themselves as the victim in every situation. If they mess up, they might shift the blame to someone else or tell a story that paints them in a more positive light.

You might feel tempted to nod and smile in order to prevent an angry outburst. This might feel like the safest option, but it can also encourage them to see you as a supporter.

Set Stricter Boundaries

If you must have a toxic person in your life, try to set stricter boundaries. For example, if someone is abusing substances and it causes them to harm you or others, let them know you won’t see them unless they’re sober. Make it clear you won’t tolerate their overly dramatic behavior or spreading rumors about people. Limit the time you spend with them until they can change.

Cut Them Out of Your Life

If the above strategies don’t work and cause even more pain, abuse, or dishonesty, it’s time to let the toxic person go. Sometimes there’s nothing to do but stand up for yourself and move on.

Sources:

lisa . A Romano- life coach

WebMd.com

Healthlin.com