Blowing Hot and Cold Tactic, Narcissists Use To Control You
The relationship with a narcissist can leave you with wildly conflicted feelings. One minute you feel like you are gliding along the water with the sun beaming on your face, the next you feel like you are in the middle of a ferocious, scary storm.
You find your emotions swinging from unconditional love and utter devotion for your partner to a nagging, gut feeling of wanting to run far, far away
That’s because narcissists run hot and cold. So you can expect to experience sublime feelings of bliss and elation when everything is going well. But if you displease or irritate your partner, he or she is likely to get angry, become dismissive, or punish you through rejection. In other words, there is no middle ground with narcissists. They are happy when the world is spinning their way, and miserable when it isn’t.
As a result, it is common for those on the other end of a narcissist’s anger to frequently feel confused, abandoned, or as if you’ve done something wrong.
If this sounds like your relationship, know that it's also common to have a vague sense that something isn't quite right while not being able to pinpoint the problem exactly.
Hot and Cold Tactic:
Sometimes it gets you down. Sometimes he can overwhelm you with happiness and praise. or Like slow answering calls or messages, or sending short texts and ignoring your messages and calls) until you think that you are at fault in some way.
Why Do Narcissists manipulate ?
Narcissists devalue their victims, purposefully seeking to make them feel worthless so that they may subjugate them to their will. The unrelenting mind games of the narcissist are incredibly damaging to those on the receiving end; they can lead to anxiety, depression, or losing their self confidence.
Victims are left traumatized by the bombardment, with the emotional pain that seems to have no end. They become mentally crippled by the onslaught, not understanding what is happening or how to escape from it.
Why this Tactic of blowing hot and cold is so damaging for you ?
It makes you hold on to toxic relationships for far too long. Instead of realizing that you will never get what you want from the narcissist . you cling to their occasional signs of affection. your need and wish to be loved and respected leads you to blind out all the clear red flags for their abuse traits and you focus on the sparse signs of their supposed affection instead.
Whenever you finally decide to opt out, they manage to keep you hooked through their fake affirmations of how wonderful you are and of how much they care about you.
So, a narcissist will insist that they never have any issues with people outside of the relationship. They will claim things such as “you’re the only person I have this problem with” or “nobody else ever seems to misunderstand me like you do” in order to make the victim believe that the issue lies with them.
This further weakens the self-belief and self-confidence of the other
party and makes them more vulnerable to future manipulation.
It is a war of consciousness and will
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