7 effective ways to deal with Gaslighting

7 effective ways to deal with Gaslighting

If you or someone you love has been a victim of emotional manipulation, and you're looking for tips and ideas to help you figure out how to deal with gas-lighting behavior in a personal and / or professional environment, this post is a great place to start. It helps you understand what gas lighting is, the most common warning signs, and offers you 7 effective strategies for dealing with gaslighting.

What Is Gaslighting? 

Gaslighting is a form of manipulation that occurs in abusive relationships. It is an insidious, and sometimes covert, type of emotional abuse where the bully or abuser makes the target question their judgments and reality.  Ultimately, the victim of gaslighting starts to wonder if they are going crazy.

Gaslighting primarily occurs in dating and married relationships, but it's not uncommon for it to occur in controlling friendships or among family members as well. Toxic people use this type of manipulation to exert power over others in order to manipulate friends, family members, and sometimes even co-workers.

Gaslighting signs 

If you suspect you have been a victim of gas lighting, here are some common warning signs to consider: 

• You are making excuses for your partner, parents, or friend.
• You question the accuracy of your remembering of past events.
• You don't feel "good enough".
• You worry that you are becoming too sensitive and overreacting to everything.
• You are more anxious / less confident than you were before.
• You Feel like everything is your fault.
• You apologize a lot for the things you did / did not do.
• You find it difficult to make decisions.
• You are afraid to speak up and express yourself.
• You Feel isolated from family and friends.
• You don't feel like you are the person you used to be

How to deal with gaslighting:

1. Raise your level of awareness.

If you want to know how to deal with gas lighting, a good first step is to gain a better understanding of what gas lighting is so you can recognize the warning signs and understand why your partner, parent, friend, or co-worker is trying to manipulate you. One of the most common reasons people highlight others is because they want to manipulate and control them.

Gaslighting is often associated with other personality disorders such as narcissism and antisocial personality disorder, and it is not always performed on purpose or on purpose. Taking the time to step back and understand what gas lighting is, and what might cause your manipulator to seek power and control over you, can be a very powerful step in knowing how to deal with gaslighting.

2. Do not interact.

As you start learning how to deal with gas lighting, you will realize that arguing with a gas worker is meaningless because defensive behavior really fuels their fire. The more you try to defend yourself, the more they will try to shine a light on you. When you feel angry or on the defensive, do your best not to react. 

Take a deep breath and count to 10, and determine the reaction that works best for you. You can refute what the person is saying (“I do not agree with this point of view ...”), try to meet in the middle (“We have a difference of opinion, and this is what I think ...”), or choose something more neutral (“We have to We agree not to agree on this ... ”). Whichever option you choose, be careful to remain calm so that you don't continue to fall for the other person's invasive lighting tactics.

3. Don't fall into the game of doubt.

Gas ejectors feed from self-doubt. They are extremely insecure and elusive manipulators, eager to pounce at the first sign of indecision or apprehension that they see in you in an attempt to tire you even more. When you start to doubt yourself, remember that gas lighting is nothing more than an attempt to gain strength and control over you. Ask yourself what motivated the other person's actions and seek advice or opinion from another person to help you understand your situation if necessary.

4. Remember: It's not about you.

Gas-Lighters are often very insecure, and their manipulative tricks are nothing more than an attempt to make themselves feel powerful and in control. They need to feel superior in order to feel good about themselves, and gas lighting is how they deal with their fears. It takes some practice to figure out how and why you interactions with manipulators in this way, but understanding it and learning to avoid it is a great skill. If you hold back and act steadfastly and calmly, you will always find the true reason why someone treats you the way they are, and 9 reasons out of 10, it has nothing to do with you.

5. Set a strong  boundaries.

Learning how to set boundaries can be difficult in the best of times, but it can be especially difficult with gas vans because they are notorious for being ignored and violated. They fail to see other people's perspectives, and do not empathize with how their words or actions affect others. If you want to know how to work with gas lighting, you need to learn how to create boundaries. Be clear and brief in communicating the things you will not tolerate, and always follow them.

6. Have an exit strategy.

Creating an exit strategy to limit the amount of time you have to interact with someone trying to manipulate and control you can be helpful. Obviously, this won't work in a close, habitual relationship, but it can be helpful with parents, adult children, siblings, co-workers, etc. There are many different ways you can do this, and you may need some of the following strategies and scenarios:

• Be upfront about time constraints before dealing with them. Say something like, "I only have 5 minutes to chat before I have to do XYZ" and then check your watch a few times before apologizing for cutting off the conversation. 
•  Ask if you can discuss something in more detail later. This is a great way to pretend to be caring in a respectful way. You can then come up with a reasonable reason to avoid the follow-up conversation at a later time if necessary. 
• Set an alarm on your phone ahead of time. Explain to him that you have to go to another meeting, while promising to end the conversation at a later time. 
• Create a safe word / look with an ally. This will help you send them a signal so that they can intervene when needed.

7. Seek professional help.

Ask for help from a professional trainer. It can be helpful in educating yourself, being grounded in your situation, and setting boundaries when dealing with a manipulative person, but it is important that you take the time to rebuild your confidence and self-esteem as well. Victims of gas lighting often lose confidence and their ability to make decisions, struggle to feel entitled, isolate themselves from others, and are vulnerable to thoughts of anxiety and depression. 

If this describes what you're experiencing, remember that it's okay to ask for help! A trained therapist will have strategies to help you understand how to deal with gas lighting and how to recover from the negative effects it causes.

Remember that emotional manipulation rarely has anything to do with you, so stand up to reality, set boundaries, and don't be afraid to cut ties if and when it is in your best interests.