9 Subtle Signs You Are Being Manipulated in Relationship

9 Subtle Signs You Are Being Manipulated in Relationship

The worst type of relationship is one in which you are being manipulated, and more often, you may not even notice this happening. Manipulative people transform your thoughts, actions, desires, and wills into something that suits their view of the world, and they shape you into someone else serving their own purposes. It seems that they are coming up with conditions to serve their ulterior motives and destructive agendas

In order to maintain their control over you, the manipulators aim to: 

• Avoid confrontation. 
• Put you on the defensive 
• They made you doubt yourself and your perceptions 
• Hide their aggressive intentions 
• Avoidance of responsibility

This may sound scary, but you shouldn't get scared - if you know what to look for. 

9 signs of psychological and emotional manipulation

1. They makes you feel guilt and shame.

Manipulation always begins with feelings of guilt. If he can persuade you to feel guilty for your actions (even when you have done nothing wrong), he knows you will be more willing to do what he says. Feeling guilt shifts focus on you, which weakens you while the aggressor feels superior, as manipulators believe that "the best defense is a good attack." By directing the blame, the aggrieved person is now on the defensive. The manipulator remains strong and free to act, while their victims now feel guilt and shame.

Shame goes beyond guilt, it makes you feel inappropriate and inadequate. It insults you as a person or detracts from your character or role, not just your actions. Comparison may be used as a subtle form of guilt and shame tools. It is harmful when parents compare siblings to each other or classmates. Or when some husbands compare their wives to a previous wife, in order to have the upper hand by making their partner feel inferior.

Guilt and shame may include "victim blaming." For example, you find evidence on your partner's phone that he is in a relationship with another woman. You find your partner acting angrily because you opened his phone without his permission. Now he or she has shifted the focus to you. By blaming you, your partner avoids confrontation about flirting, and he may also lie about it, belittle it, or totally cheat on it. You, the true victim, feel guilty of committing the espionage, undermining any justified anger, and so you may do so

2. They projecting their insecurities on you.

Manipulators often impose their fear on you in an effort to control how you react to them, all while pretending they are trying to have a healthy relationship. Examples of using insecurities as emotional manipulation: "You've been cheated before and that's why I don't want you to have any relationships with males, even your relatives. You can understand that, right?" Yes, of course, you can understand that (and you should be aware of his concerns), but his fears should not define your role in the relationship.

"I'm sorry I acted this way, but I'm too scared for you to leave me!" It is an excuse manipulators often use when they point to flaws in their actions. The main purpose of this excuse is to distract you from your fears about his behavior and lure you into his area of ​​control over you. There is a fine line between showing compassion for their feelings and manipulating you into feeling what they want you to feel. Consideration is shown with love, while guilt governs the manipulation.

3. The game of doubt. 

Do you want to know why it is so easy to be manipulated? Because it gaslighted you to the point where you can no longer trust yourself. Manipulators take your fear and use it against you. Among the most important examples of including self-doubt as emotional manipulation: They constantly point out that what you're doing is "wrong" and how they could have done it better. They point to your weaknesses, then show you that by helping you, you can do better and be better.

Slowly they convince you that they are keeping your best in mind, but they are not. They put their interests above anything else. And in order to keep their desires and needs at the forefront of their relationship with you, they gently change your mind so you look to him for their guidance on everything. Once this happens, manipulators can get you to do whatever they want from you because you trust them now more than you trust yourself.

4. They make you responsible for how they feel.

Manipulators spend a lot of time making you feel as though you can't think of yourself, but then they turn around and make you responsible for all of their feelings. If they feel sad, it may be because you made them feel this way. And if they're angry, well, you'd better check yourself because it's clear that you made a mistake.

5. "Compromise trap"

 It is normal. When you begin to mix two lives into a new relationship, compromises are made. What's not normal when you have to completely give up on what you want and need in an effort to please your partner. For example: I have always wanted to get married and have children. You still want it in reality, more than ever. 

But your partner talks about how wonderful it is that you both agree that marriage will be more free and stable without having children and that children often drain energy, convincingly and openly you begin to submit to his will and give up on your dreams in order to preserve your partner

6. They trapping you to rushly sharing your secrets and insecurities 

You've only known this person for a few weeks or months, and you don't know their favorite color yet, but they nevertheless tell you an annoying amount of personal information. This will likely include moments in his life when he felt emotionally weak, so he could play the victim and make you feel bad for him. While it sounds like someone has been honest with you, this is just one of his manipulative ways to make you feel that you need to share your secrets and weaknesses as well. You will end up using this information against you later.

An example of inappropriate participation as emotional manipulation: Your partner reveals a childhood emotional problem, which leads you to reveal your understanding of yourself as one of your parents verbally abused you. Then one day, you may respond to something he says spontaneously, and suddenly find him accusing you of being verbally abusive, just like your father. You end up apologizing for what happened, and asking if his accusations against you are worth it

7. Lying and denial.

Usual liars sometimes lie when it is not necessary. They don't lie because they are scared and guilty, but they confuse you to do whatever they want. Some at the same time put you on the defensive through accusations and other manipulative tactics. Lying, which is conscious denial, is here to disavow knowledge of promises, agreements, and behavior. Denial also includes minimizing the gravity of the action and justifying or creating excuses. The manipulator acts by making you doubt yourself until you have to justify his actions or actions or even win your sympathy.

8. Avoidance.

Manipulators want to avoid confrontation and take responsibility at all costs. They may avoid conversations about their behavior once you try to discuss them. This may be combined with an attack on you, such as, "You always bother me," putting you on the defensive due to blame, guilt, or shame. He may also resort to evasiveness that obscures the facts, confuses you, and sows doubt in yourself

9. Intimidation.

The intimidation isn't always direct threats, but it can be subtle. Intimidation can be achieved with an appearance or tone and phrases such as: "No one is standing in my way;" "No one can do without it." "I have styles and friends in high-ranking positions;" Or "Have you thought about the implications of that decision?" Another strategy is to tell a story aimed at creating fear, such as: "She left her husband and lost her children, her home, and everything with this behavior." "I fight to win. Once I almost killed a man."