10 Ways to Shut Down A Narcissist

10 Ways to Shut Down A Narcissist 

What do we say to disarm the narcissist ?

Narcissists also have an illusory sense of self-worth and an inability to feel empathy for others. They are unable to regulate their emotions or to think about the effect their actions will have on others. As a result, disarming them is not easy because they do not interact the way most of us do.

If you want to disarm a narcissist, you might try saying things like: I don't like how you talk to me, and I want him to stop now. Please stop criticizing me in front of others. It is painful and unpleasant. I don't like being told what to do or how to behave. I am an adult. These phrases may get their attention, but you are not likely to permanently change their behavior. Perhaps you should focus less on disarming them and more on learning how to implement your limits and manage their behaviors.

This person may be a friend you choose to hang out with, but it may also be a boss, a co-worker, or a family member you should see on a regular basis. The question is, can you have a working relationship with a narcissist? Yes you can, but you have to know how to deal with them. 

Let's talk about the most effective way to talk to and shut down a narcissist so that you can tolerate their upsetting and often harmful behaviors.

What hurts narcissists the most ?

Self-immersed people constantly need to be verified that they are great people. If they do not receive this verification, or someone doubts their greatness, they are often criticized. What hurts narcissists the most is when they are not recognized as exceptional, or seen as normal people like everyone else.

This response prompts them to elicit participation from those around them. When this attempt fails, they can feel hurt and angry. An insincere compliment is also something that hurts a narcissist. Deep down, narcissists lack a firm self-esteem. For this reason, they need to know that the compliments they receive are credible. Anything that appears fake can be extremely painful.

When their flaws and weaknesses are exposed, and there is no way to make reasonable excuses or cover up for them, narcissists can be criticized for feeling vulnerable and vulnerable. Criticism is the narcissistic equivalent of feeling shame or embarrassment.

To shut down a narcissist, you need to be more prepared than they are right now. Let's go over fifteen effective strategies you can use to shut down a narcissist and help reduce the harm they inflict on you.

How to Shut Down  a Narcissist: 10 of the Best Ways

1. Disengage.

Don't be surprised when you are with a narcissist, who becomes unreasonably angry over an apparently minor inconvenience. Do not try to think with them and do not get yourself into the situation. Remember to think about the things that are under your control - and this is how you respond. The only way a narcissist realizes that they might be wrong (or simply let something pass) is if you refuse to engage and hold back. This can be difficult, but if you know that they are wrong about something, don't fall in love with their charming attempts to persuade you to agree with them or to get you into an argument. Think before you speak and don't take the bait.

2. Don't sink into their level.

Narcissists thrive on good fights because they know how to push the buttons. When your buttons are pressed, you will likely be tempted to fight and defend yourself. However, once you fight back, you lose control. If you want to hang around a narcissist, stay calm and unresponsive to the feelings around you. It is important to remain in control of your actions and words because a narcissist will not be able to do this.

3. Do not feed their egos.

Narcissists have an impressive sense of self. It's obviously bloated, but it's also unstable. If you give them a lot of unworthy verbal praise, you reinforce their belief that they are better than you and everyone else. Praise only when you feel it is worthy and sincere.

If you don't give a narcissist any of that fuel to work with, they won't use it against you or against others when defending themselves. When a narcissist's self-image is reflected in ways that increase their infinite need for admiration, their narcissistic needs are satisfied and reinforced as acceptable.

4. Don't take responsibility for his anger.

If the narcissist is angry, he is angry. They might try to make you feel the same anger and pain as they feel, but you can refuse to comply. It may seem easier to accept the blame to stop their rampage, but doing so can break your soul after a while. If you accept responsibility for their anger or their emotions, you may end up doing whatever they want just to please them. Let the narcissist come to terms with his emotions and come to terms with them.

They will eventually either overcome them or move to another effort to satisfy their needs. The challenge for those with narcissism is learning how to take personal responsibility rather than attributing their disrespectful or offensive behavior to those around them.

Accepting this responsibility is painful and gives permission for the narcissist to continue blaming you for the way they treat you or try to convince you that their behavior is the result of their actions, which is incorrect.

5. Be mysterious.

If you are dealing with someone who has an illusory sense of self-worth and an inability to feel empathy for others. Someone who does not know how to control their emotions and does not think about the impact their actions may have on others. You and other people close to this person find this narcissistic behavior upsetting. This is the main reason why you need to know how to shut down a narcissist. 

The attention given to a narcissist is addictive. They will still look to this fix to help satisfy their ego. If you keep giving them what they want, they will keep trying to control you until you satisfy their needs and desires.

Keep all dialogue to a minimum. Don't talk to a narcissist unless you must. Avoid interaction as much as possible, but don't make it too much because it will give them ammunition against you. When you have to talk to them, talk about boring things, like the weather. If they ask questions, provide vague and uninspiring answers that don't invite more questions. You can quickly get a narcissistic person shut down.

6. Walk away.

The best way to shut down the narcissist is to walk away from it. If all else fails, you can physically remove yourself from the conversation. Even if they keep talking, simply turn around and walk away. If they follow you, close the door. Put on headphones. Pick up your phone and call someone. 

These actions will eventually force them to stop. Remember that you cannot control their reality If you realize that you can only control yourself and your perception of things.

7. Avoid giving negative attention.

Narcissists love attention - both positive and negative. Receiving negative attention is an important part of their ability to hold you accountable for their behavior. Once you give them that kind of attention, they can hold it over your head.

They need this type of negative reaction from you to provide them with the reason to attack and target you in return. If you are the closest person to a narcissist, then you will automatically become the most reliable target.

8. Put your needs first.

Narcissists make other people feel guilty about being happy because they expect everyone to put the narcissist's happiness first. If you do not consistently praise them or accept their criticism that makes them feel superior, they will not be satisfied. Keep your needs at the forefront of your mind to reduce the chance that a narcissist will benefit from you.

9. Stay calm.

Showing a narcissist that you are upset reinforces their behavior. They see that they have authority over you. They are encouraged by your strong reaction and look for other ways to elicit the same response from you. Always try to keep your head level and keep your feelings to yourself.

10. Setting a strong boundaries.

Create a boundary statement about everything you won't tolerate. For example, the boundary might be, "I won't accept unkind and critical comments about me from narcissists." Now, what does it mean to "not accept" these comments? This is where the consequences come in. You may not be able to change the narcissist or stop him from saying unpleasant things, but you can have implications for their behavior. 

When a narcissist goes beyond your limits, you can:

• Exit the room. 
• Refuse to go to a planned event with him or her.
• Refuse the request or the service requested from you.
• Go stay with a friend for a few days. 
• Report the behavior to a supervisor (if at work). 
• Dramatically reduce the time you spend with him.

Related:   10 Things Narcissist Fear Most