8 Things A Narcissist Fear the Most

8 Things A Narcissist Fear the Most 

Narcissists like to pretend that they are very powerful beings, who know everything and can never be harmed. But no matter how they act, there are actually quite a few things that strike fear deep in their hearts.

Narcissists are known to be very vain and only care about themselves. The world itself revolves around them (or so they think)

But what is a narcissist? 

In psychology, there is something called "narcissistic personality disorder." The definition of this disorder is “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of overconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that is susceptible to the slightest criticism.” This is the last part of the more telling definition. Deep down, these people are extremely vulnerable, with extremely low self-esteem.

The exception is covert narcissists who intentionally appear vulnerable because that's their standard mode of operation - but even they have some concerns that they're hiding from you. The truth is that all toxic narcissists have some deep, dark fears — and you might be surprised to learn exactly what makes their hearts race. It seems clear then that there are many things that really frighten them. 

 Here are 8 Things A Narcissist Fear the Most 

1. The narcissist fears that their imperfections being exposed.

You may be perfectly fine with others knowing your weaknesses and flaws. This is because you know you are human and you know you are not perfect. And maybe you can help someone else who is dealing with the same issues and has the same kind of insecurities that you do. 

The way to do this is by sharing that part of yourself with them. However, a narcissist will do anything in their power to hide their flaws. They know deep down that they are far from perfect (it doesn't mean that anyone is perfect), which is why they are afraid that their imperfections will show one way or the other. Once that happens, their perfect image will be forever tarnished which is something they want to avoid at all costs.

2. Fear of rejection.

Narcissists fear rejection as much as everyone else. But for narcissists, it's different. Since they desperately need the narcissistic supply of admiration for their partner (and everyone else), they almost feel like they're starving if they don't get it. Their deep, hidden sense of inferiority and secret feeling of being unloved drives them toward the superficial interest and perceived acceptance of everyone around them. The refusal will highlight their dire need for supply. It will remind them that they are not the person they pretend to be and that they are unloved.

Despite the fact that narcissists obsessively try to make themselves appear untouchable, they fear rejection when it comes to love, job hunting, or being social. If a narcissist is rejected, they will display narcissistic anger because, after all, you have raised one of their worst fears by being rejected. They will use all their tactics, from guilt trips, to grand promises and temptations, to power maneuvers, to threats and revenge. For example, a rejected narcissistic spouse may struggle for child custody not because they care about the children but as a way to "win" and hurt their ex-partner

3. Embarrassment/humiliation.

Being simultaneously hypersensitive and condescending, narcissists have unrealistic expectations and are threatened even by small, pointless insults that others may easily overlook. Feeling embarrassed or humiliated is painful for anyone, but a narcissist's emotional instability and a compensatory sense of superiority outside the charts cause them to react especially to those feelings. To avoid such feelings, narcissists often preemptively insult the people around them to gain the upper hand. And they compete compulsively, even over ridiculously trivial things

4. Narcissists fear criticism.

If you've ever spent any amount of time with a narcissist, you'll know exactly how their outspokenness and pain will criticize you—from everything from your appearance to your thoughts and feelings to your morals and core values. Yes, it is true that narcissists are always interested in criticism, but they are not very good at accepting it - constructive or otherwise. If you have ever criticized a narcissist, you have likely dealt with narcissistic anger and/or narcissistic injury. Their natural reaction to criticism is anger first, then showing narcissistic hurt (the verb "poor I"), followed by (or in conjunction with) "narcissistic inversion" - where they change your criticism and find something to criticize for you instead. They will attack you and divert your criticism by finding something to cut you some cracks.

5. Narcissists fear abandonment.

Often when a narcissist threatens, directly or indirectly, to abandon you, you might think that they were completely secure in their ability to remain surrounded by the narcissist's sources of supply - as in the people they love, value, and serve as needed. But the truth is that while abandonment is probably the most human fear one can feel, narcissists are not immune. In fact, if we're being honest, they're probably natural that way. However, the difference between a narcissist's fear of abandonment and a normal person's fear is that the narcissist will abuse and manipulate the people around them in order to control them and keep them in their place.

6. Narcissists fear  being exposed.

Emotionally healthy people have strong self-awareness and want to be seen for who they are. They practice self-reflection and value intimacy with the important people in their lives. In contrast, narcissists strongly fear exposure and as a result avoid self-reflection and view intimacy as a threat.
While they like to seem perfect in general, most narcissists are insecure and secretly hate themselves. We know that the average toxic narcissist has a false self that acts as a mask for his true self, which is damaged and weak. 

Despite their bravado and grandeur, the real person behind the mask is often insecure and desperate to be loved. Unfortunately, because they are so self-centered and only care about their own feelings, it is difficult for narcissists to maintain a long-term and mutually satisfying relationship.

In the truest sense, narcissists are strangers to themselves, constantly denying their weaknesses by asserting delusions of superiority. The only thing more important than persuading themselves to inflate their self-importance is to convince others to do so. This is because their self-instability makes them highly dependent on people's opinions and other external measures of self-esteem. Thus narcissists typically manipulate family members, friends, colleagues, and the like and force them to support their personality and the narrative around it, if not believing.

And when the true self emerges, anyone who is not already actively grounded will run in the other direction. So, one of their biggest fears is discovered - seeing it for what it is. This brings me to my next point - Narcissists fear abandonment. “The narcissist devours people, consumes their production, and casts aside the writhing, empty shells.

7. Narcissists fear your self-esteem.

 One of narcissists' biggest secrets (and, by the way, one of their most intense secret fears) is the idea that you may develop self-esteem and learn (or remember) that you are a person of value. See, as you develop (or re-develop) your self-esteem, you will quickly learn that you deserve to be treated with respect. You'll start setting boundaries, and you'll stop taking their crap. This can of course bring all of their other fears to the surface - their flaws will be revealed, they will be rejected, which will lead to embarrassment and discovery - and ultimately, abandonment.

8. The Narcissist fears not being special.

As you may have guessed by now, the narcissist's greatest and most intimidating fear is seen as normal or not private. See, narcissists like to see themselves different and better than anyone else. Above the law, and deserves special treatment at all times. The idea that they might be anything else completely unusual is almost devastating to them.

They want to be the smartest, richest, or best person they know. They want others to see them this way, and if you can't do that, they can't stay in their little narcissistic bubble. They don't want to be treated like everyone else - they want to be treated better than anyone else. But forcing them to confess (or even just treat them like everyone else) will make them feel attacked and humiliated.