The Narcissistic Rage Circle & How To Respond

The Narcissistic Rage Circle & How To Respond

What Is Narcissistic Rage?

Narcissistic rage is a term refer to the tendency of people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder  (NPD) to fly into a rage with what might seem like the slightest provocation or no obvious provocation at all.

Individuals with NPD need to be given constant admiration and positive feedback by others When this does not happen, it elicits underlying feelings of shame that leads to an immediate angry reaction and criticism without concern for how it affects the recipient It is the narcissist’s tender skin and sensitivity that leads to this anger Because of the deep fear of "discovering" he is not the person who portrays himself as he.

People with NPD have an underlying sense of insecurity and feel unable to handle anything they consider critical. When the "true self" is revealed, the person with NPD may also feel threatened, and their self-esteem is shattered.

How does it look like? 

We all desire attention and admiration from the people around us. But people with NPD may react with narcissistic rage when they are not given the attention they feel they deserve.
This rage may take the form of screaming and yelling. Selective silence and passive-aggressive avoidance can also happen with narcissistic rage.

Most episodes of narcissistic rage exist on a behavior continuum. On one end, a person may be aloof and withdrawn. Their goal may be to hurt another person by being absent.

On the other end are outbursts and explosive actions. Here again, the goal may be to turn the “hurt” they feel into an attack on another person as a form of defense. It's important to remember that not all angry outbursts are episodes of narcissistic rage. Anyone is capable of having an angry outburst, even if they don’t have a personality disorder. Narcissistic rage is just one component of NPD. Other conditions might also cause episodes similar to narcissistic rage, including: paranoid delusion bipolar disorder depressive episodes

Narcissistic rage differs from other forms of anger in that narcissistic rage is unreasonable in relation to the perceived harm done; It is as if the person has a stimulus response. It is completely out of proportion to what provoked it and often surprises the other person. Narcissistic rage can also be active or passive with external or internal signs of a problem. 

Here are the signs and symptoms to watch for

Outward Signs 

• Bouts of rage when not given the attention they feel deserve 
• Screaming and yelling
• Angry or explosive outbursts 
• Intense anger 
• Sudden fits of anger
• Becoming verbally or physically aggressive 
• Inability to control the rage
• Intentionally trying to inflict pain (emotional or physical) on others 

Inward Signs

•  Passive aggression 
• Giving the “silent treatment”
• Withdrawing or being aloof 
• Avoiding someone 
• Hidden resentment 
• Neglecting to do things 
• Using sarcasm to cut people down 
• Righteous indignation 
• A sense of entitlement 
• Becoming hostile or bitter 
• Cutting people off as a means to protect one’s self-esteem
•  Dissociation or feeling disconnected from reality

Types

 As mentioned above, there are two different types of narcissistic rage: extrinsic or explosive and intrinsic or passive. 

• Explosive rage: The person hurls insults, screams, and screams, and may threaten others or hurt himself. 
• Passive rage: The person regresses into a period of frowning and refusing to engage with you. In fact, a narcissist can engage in both types of narcissistic anger rather than just being external or internal in their actions and behaviors.

What can lead to episodes of narcissistic rage? 

There are three main reasons why narcissistic anger occurs. 

1- Damage to self-esteem or self-worth

Despite an exaggerated opinion of themselves, people with NPD often hide a self-esteem that is easily injured. When they are "hurt," narcissists tend to attack as their first line of defence. They may feel that excluding someone or intentionally hurting them with words or violence can help protect their character.

2- A challenge to their confidence

People with NPD tend to try to build confidence in themselves by constantly staying away from lies or false personalities. When someone pushes them and reveals weakness, people with NPD may feel inadequate. These unwelcome feelings can cause them to attack as protection.

3-Sense of self is questioned

If people reveal that someone with NPD isn’t as capable or talented as they may pretend to be, this challenge to their sense of self may result in a cutting and aggressive outburst

Stages

Unlike typical anger, narcissistic rage does not go through a series of stages. For example, psychiatrist Adam Blatner identified the following seven stages or levels of typical anger:

1. Stress: Feelings of anger under the surface that are not consciously acknowledged or acted upon
2. Anxiety: Anger starting to leak through with subtle signs
3. Agitation: Outward signs of being displeased without any blame assigned
4. Irritation: Showing more displeasure to get others to respond and change
5. Frustration: Showing anger with an angry face or using harsh words
6. Anger: Increasing how loudly you speak and being more expressive
7. Rage: Losing one’s temper and flying into fits of aggression

Dealing with Narcissists' rage

• Avoid giving direct criticism or feedback that may trigger a narcissistic reaction
• Don’t escalate conflicts that could lead to personal harm
• Don't take things personally or seek out revenge
• Avoid sharing too much personal information that could be used against you
• Know that you are not responsible for your mood or their behavior 
• Realize that they do not act or act rationally, that their judgment is poor, and that they do not think properly 
• Don't try to use logic, get into an argument with the person, or try to argue that the person is overreacting 
• Don't apologize or accept their behavior, it could lead to more abuse 
• Don't get angry yourself. Instead, try to remain calm, calm and collected
• If their anger becomes explosive, leave the situation to protect your own safety
• Set personal boundaries to be clear about what is acceptable behavior for you
• Find support for yourself such as a support group or person whom you can confide in

Sources:

verywellmind.com/what-is-narcissistic-rage

healthline.com//narcissistic-rage