3 Things Narcissists Will Use Against You

3 Things Narcissists Will Use Against You 

If you've never met a narcissist before, go out and celebrate because you're so lucky. Most of us have a narcissistic friend, partner, co-worker, or family member.Nowadays, narcissism has become a common word. Sometimes it is used to describe individuality and self-focus (what's good for me and how do I get what I want?). Other times the word is to describe someone's inability to care about others. However, what you need to know is that narcissism is not just a slight deviation from empathy that can be justified out of success. 

The truth is that narcissism is a serious personality disorder that has a great toxic power over any relationship. People can have narcissistic traits without a clinical diagnosis as having narcissistic personality disorder, in which there is a whole range of narcissistic traits.

Some of the classic characteristics of narcissists are that they are arrogant, selfish, self-important, manipulative, lack empathy for others, and have an exaggerated sense of entitlement. Having a relationship with a narcissist wouldn't be a bad experience - at first! exactly the contrary. It will be exciting and emotional. You will feel completely understood and seen, and you will probably enjoy the best days of your entire life.

During the early stages of a relationship, the narcissist will drown you in feelings of love, putting the world at your feet. They will call and text you frequently, and openly share with you how attracted they are to you, how much they like you, and how unique you are to them. They will compliment you and want to be around you at all times. This technique is called "love-bombing" and its goal is to drag you into a very dangerous state of emotional dependence on constant praise, attention, and validation.

And when they make sure that you have successfully fallen under their spell, Hell will begin to creep into your life. You will feel awful without being able to fully explain why, and you will feel guilt, wrong, selfish and what not. And you will fight for more of the delicious old praise and care that they used to give you. 

You will find yourself apologizing for what you did and what you are. You'll be obsessed with the memory of how great things were between the two of you and be ready to do just about anything to get back there. Fortunately, you can really understand how to deal with a narcissist.

In this article we are going to talk about the secret things narcissists use against us and how to turn the facts around.

1. A narcissist will never be satisfied, no matter what you do for them.

Narcissists want you to believe that no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever be good enough. They do this to control you, so you will keep trying to get their approval and you will continue to reap failure. Do you do everything, from working long hours at your job, paying all the bills, working the narcissist's every wish, and yet they never thank or praise you?

And every time you rebel against his accusations of negligence, he will make you feel out of place - to provoke you to drive you crazy, nervous, and push you further from the truth, the narcissist will convince you that you are no longer what you used to be. 

They will explain to you how emotionally unstable you are, and how to put up with your growing problems. 

And some of the most famous manipulation phrases used against you 

• "I never knew you were that sensitive.
• " "I never said that" 
• "You're making it sound like my fault."
• "You always take things personally."
• "I can't stand this anymore"

Gaslighting makes you think that you are the one who is jeopardizing the relationship with your claims, questions, and needs. In one way or another, you will always seem like the one who should do the best and understand them the most. So, even when the relationship gets really toxic, you'll try to survive and fix it - because you'll think it's your responsibility to make up for your "mistakes." 

This line of manipulation works for narcissists because it ensures that you will always be ready to do whatever they ask of you at any moment, and it also destroys your confidence and self-esteem. It's a two-sided coin (win for the narcissist, lose for you). In order to negate this narcissist's tactic, stop doing everything they ask you to do and restore your self-esteem.

2. Triangulation .

You know how painful it is when someone says someone else is a lot better than you at this and that. Well, that's what triangulation is all about - making a person believe they are less valuable, accomplished, or attractive than someone else. The person a narcissist will compare you to can be anyone - a friend, a mutual acquaintance, a parent, a lover, or even a complete stranger. However, most of the time they will compare you to someone of your gender to make sure that you not only feel humiliated and sad but also jealous.

For a narcissist, it is very important to get you to guess once more about his affection for you. This is because manipulating them works best when they make you compete with a third party for their attention and approval. You will feel insecure and inadequate, afraid that they will lose interest in you, and will try hard to hold on to your best qualities in order to seduce the narcissist to return to your love (and only you!).

3. Silent treatment

A Narcissist will sue silent treatment with you after isolating you from the world around you. After the idealization phase is over - which usually happens suddenly, without any signs - you will be pushed off your pedestal. The narcissist will unexpectedly (and inexplicably) become cold and distant. Then they will start criticizing you. They will compare you to other people - it always works against you. He will start blaming your relationship problems on others in your life, cutting you off from people who might give you any positive feelings or be a source of support for you.

Once they isolate you, the narcissistic partner will criticize you and stop talking to you for no apparent reason. When you try to talk to them they will give you the silent treatment and make sure you know how deeply they are disappointed with you. You will then believe you are wrong and make attempts to earn their former sweetness again - to bring the relationship back to the honeymoon phase. 

For the sake of your mental health and sense of self, you need to completely separate from the narcissist. With time you will get to the point where you can heal. The narcissist will try to get you back into his life, but you have to be strong. While narcissists may seem lovable and amazing, they will not be there for you or to help you achieve what you need to be a healthy and happy individual.

Sources

.yourtango.com/three-things-narcissists-use-against-you-have-control
watersedgecounselingnwa.com/the-power-of-pet-therapy