7 Steps to Leave An Abusive Relationship With A Narcissist

Breaking up with a narcissist is likely to be a stressful experience.He is very skilled at twisting words and using guilt and other strategies that end up convincing you to stay in the relationship. Sometimes you may end up feeling that the problems in your relationship are your fault. These feelings most likely occur because you have been the victim of narcissistic abuse.

Here are 7 steps to leave a narcissist 

1. Do not discuss your plans to leave.

Being with a narcissist means that you don't have to reveal your intentions to leave until the day you leave. This is because you don't want to be manipulated into staying, out of fear that they will do something to stop you from leaving, or that they will hurt you. In situations where children are involved, it is especially important that you send the children to their friends or family member, so that they do not witness a blast from your partner when you tell them you are leaving.

2. Keep important documents in a safe place. 

By removing your personal documents from the home before you tell your partner about your intention to leave, you prevent yourself from being drawn back into the situation. In the worst case scenario where you can't access documents like your passport in advance, don't risk your life to stay. There are always alternative ways to get it back.

3. Finance plan.

One of the biggest factors that keep people in narcissistic relationships is a lack of money. In any abusive relationship, it is a good idea to open a private bank account and put the money there every week so that you have the money when you leave. You can also keep the money with a trusted friend who can hand the money over as soon as you leave. Don't let yourself feel obligated to stay because you feel that you cannot be financially secure without them. Your mental health comes at no cost. Also, countless people I've supported have found that when they take this leap, the universe opens new doors and provides them in ways they never imagined.

4. Build a support system.

One of the common behaviors of narcissistic abuse is isolating the other person from their family and friends. You may find that you don’t have close relationships with other people anymore. However, there’s a good chance that these people still care about you and want to help you if they can. Work on re-establishing these relationships and building a support system that you can surround yourself with. If you don’t have anyone on a personal level that you can use for support, consider joining a support group of people that have been through similar situations. It can be comforting to go through this difficult time with other people who have been there before and can offer you support from personal experience. 

5. Go no contact. 

Once you leave, the narcissist will do everything and anything they can to get you back. This is not just out of love or care, but because they want to take back that control over you. So, the best thing to do is to cut all contact. Block and delete numbers and associated social media accounts. This prevents you from being bombarded with attempts to bring you back into their lives. Of course, this is not possible if you have children together. If you can, contact through mutual friends or parents who are willing to take on the role. You can also arrange to be contacted through legal channels. Again, this reduces any contact you have with them.

6-Prepare yourself for their retaliation. 

You may find that your ex is going to try to retaliate against you out of their anger and hurt.

Also When a narcissist has no access to you, they may try to slander your name to those around you in hopes of getting a reaction.

They may also be able to move on more quickly from the relationship than you. Take time to think about your partner and what their typical behaviors are. Do your best to try to predict how you think they’re going to retaliate and then prepare yourself for it.

7-Get professional support.

It can be very helpful to talk to a therapist when you are in a relationship with a narcissist or when you are leaving them. Many people who have been in a relationship with narcissists find that they have low self-esteem and self-confidence. It can be difficult to trust other people, and you may feel confused and disoriented. There are a lot of feelings that can come from leaving a relationship, even if it ends up being better for you in the long run.

Sources

yourtango.com/nicola-beer/how-leave-narcissist-safely-peacefully

betterhelp.com/advice/how-to/how-to-leave-a-narcissist-when-you-cant-make-it-work-any-longer