5 Ways To Deal With A possessive Partner

During the initial stages of a relationship, we usually feel good when our partner acts protective and possessive about us. We feel a loving sense of belonging. We feel that our partner belongs to us and we belong to them. When this sense of belonging is balanced with independence and individuality, we are able to build a healthy, lasting relationship. However, when this possessiveness is rooted in fear, insecurity and jealousy it can quickly turn into a toxic relationship where you feel controlled, suffocated and even abused.

There’s a big difference between belonging to someone in a relationship and being possessed by your partner. This can be a very tricky notion to grasp for most of us as all possessive relationships begin as the most romantic fairy tale. You feel like you’ve finally found the right person who loves and cares for you deeply. The intensity, passion and the feel-good factor of the relationship consumes you and clouds your judgment. So you ignore and overlook the warning signs and red flags that you might have a possessive boyfriend or girlfriend.

Here are 12 Signs You Have A Dominant/Possessive Partner:

1. Being  Snoopy: They wants to know everything you're doing... He/She eavesdrops over your conversations.

2. Your Own Life: Your guy hates when you do things alone. He/She behaves like he has a moral obligation to oversee everything you do...

3. Everyone Likes You: Each time you speak to a guy or laugh at his joke, your boyfriend accuses you of flirting with the guy or encouraging him to flirt with you. He constantly tells you that every guy you talk to has a crush on you.

4. He Is One Step Ahead: When you start dating, he behaves like your boyfriend already. When he becomes your boyfriend, he tries to behave like your husband.

5. Big Talk: Your guy hates it when you speak highly about someone else. He starts to dislike any person, who seems to be high on your list of nice people, and constantly tries to pick flaws in people.

6. Jealousy: He is insanely jealous, no matter how much you prove your love for him. He constantly tells you that you treat him badly, or tells you that he doesn't believe you love him as much as he loves you.

7. They Scares You: The more you agree with him, or avoid people to just make him feel more secure or loved in the relationship, the happier he feels.

8. Suspicious Behavior: They is convinced that he has a reason to doubt your fidelity. They constantly believes he has caught you cheating, even if you're having a friendly conversation with someone.

9. They Confuses You: their behavior is hard to read, and you're always left confused. On one hand, he/she seems like the nicest and most caring guy you can find. Then, on the other hand he seems like he has control and anger issues.

10. They Watches You: When the both of you are out together, he constantly watches the way you interact with others. Especially "Other Guys". After almost every social gathering, he/she always seems to have something to say, especially about how much attention you were giving some other guy

11-They Wants You To Be With Them 24/7 : Insecurity is the reason that your partner is constantly attached to you. Whether they believe you will cheat or not, your partner feels the need to check up on you and make sure you are ‘OK’ more often than they should for a healthy relationship.

12 They Have Unrealistic expectation of your relationship: You’ve only known each other a short time, but your partner has jumped to talk of marriage already. Or maybe your partner wants to move in together right away and you’re not comfortable making that move yet. When your partner is the one putting the pressure on, it’s a sign that they are trying to tie you down because of their own insecurity.

Here are 5 ways to deal with a possessing partner

1. Try to understand him:

Know his nature well. In addition, was he always possessive from the beginning or has become later? Try to know what is bothering your boyfriend. Why he is acting strange?

2. Try picking signs of possessiveness:

At what point he is acting weird all of sudden? What are the changes in his tone and behavior? Notice that is he possessive for some specific guy or any guy you are friendly with?

3. Talk it Out:

Make him sit and understand that you love him much, you do not want to end your relationship, and you care for him. If it is for some specific guy, then don't bring up topics related to him in your conversation. If possible, go out for dinner or lunch with both of them. So, your boyfriend understands your relationship with that person.

4. Spend more time together:

Spend some quality time along with him. Surprise him by showing extra love and care. Sometimes a man is possessive when he is insecure in the relationship. Be patient and open towards your boyfriend, try to get rid of all the insecurities he is having.

5. Setting boundaries

It's an important step if your boyfriend is taking your own space, takes all the decisions of yours, tells you what to wear and what not to, or does things that hurts you. You should be firm and bold and tell him that you do not like it and you are hurting. Set some ground rules, so you can have your own space. Do not let him to invade in your own private space. Tell him and make him understand that it is okay to have some time off from each other.

At the end of the day, everyone has a threshold and if you feel you have tried your best to make him feel secure and yet you don’t see any change in his behavior, then it is best to take a step back from the relationship.

It takes two to make a relationship work and if your partner is being unreasonable, you are better off staying away.