5 Types of Co-Dependent Personality

Do you think that you make too many sacrifices for those around you, but you not getting much in return?
Does your relationship seem one-sided? Do you feel happy when you find people around you need you?  Do you always deny your needs and feelings in order to take care of the feelings and needs of those around you? So you may be in a Co-dependency relationship.   

Codependency is when one partner becomes a giver or savior while the other partner plays the role of recipient. These relationships are in a power imbalance where they focus on the needs of the recipient and ignore the needs of the codependent person.

What is Co-dependency? 

Co-dependency refers to the mental, emotional, physical and/or spiritual co-dependence on a partner, friend, or family member that is addictive. Co-dependency is not an officially classified clinical diagnosis or personality disorder . 

In general, co-dependence includes aspects of attachment styles developed in early childhood, and can also overlap with other personality disorders, including codependency personality disorder. The codependent person feels worthless unless they are needed by making great sacrifices and taking care of them. A codependent person is only happy when they make extreme sacrifices for their partner. He feels that this other person must need him in order to feel his worth.

Thus, they exerts all their effort and energy to take care of another person and makes many sacrifices in order to keep the relationship alive and make the other party happy and feels guilty if they thinks of themselves or their own needs. This type of personality is usually attracted to Controllers or who depend on others to meet their needs or sufferers such as addicts, and also to narcissists, because his actions enable them and support their unhealthy lifestyle, because they will always be there to support them and serve their needs and help them escape from Responsibility and not facing the consequences of their actions, as they plays the role of care-giver and savior in the lives of those around him.

Unfortunately, the enabler  person  did not  learn how to have an equal and two-sided relationship, and often depends on the sacrifices and needs of another person. On the other hand, this codependent person feels that his wants and needs are not important and he will not express them. He may find it difficult to recognize his feelings or needs at all. The codependent person will therefore neglect other important areas in his life to satisfy his partner. His extreme devotion to this person may cause harm to other relationships in his  life,  career or affect on  his daily responsibilities

Co-dependency And Narcissism 

Narcissism and co-dependency complement each other. The narcissist wants to take and exploit and wants to be served by others and fulfill his needs. A person with co-dependency cannot refuse a request to others and compulsively satisfy people and meet their needs. This does not mean that the relationship between them will be healthy, but rather It is catastrophic and leads to the destruction of the person suffering from a lack of self-love, because he will give everything he owns and is capable of to the narcissist, who is a bottomless well that is not filled and is not satisfied, but the nature of their integrated personalities makes them attracted to each other, usually the victims of narcissism suffer Self-love deficiency disorder

Types Of Co-dependency 

Here are 5 types of Co-dependency: 

1. Passive codependency 

They are more fearful and conflict avoidant. They release their deep anger and resentment by indulging in excessive empathy and excessive generosity. They succumb to the injustice of love, lack of respect and neglect. Such sacrificial martyrs do not flee from their burning anger just beneath the surface. The experience of attachment trauma has taught them that there is no point in resisting, or that making a change for me will lead to worse consequences.

2. Active codependent 

They try hard but futilely in order to persuade the narcissist or try to control and manipulate them in order to extract their love, respect, and care. They delusively believe that such constant rivalry and counter-aggression is justified or an effective option. They adopt an aggressive and confrontational approach to protect themselves and get what they need. The method of control and manipulation they practice is rarely effective. In fact, it often leads to the revenge of the pathological narcissist, which often hurts the codependent even more.

3. Cerebral codependents 

Intellectual codependent . Cerebral  codependents devour education and summaries of others' experiences to overcome narcissistic abuse. They believe that the more information they know, the more they will be able to solve the problem. This form of separation will not resolve the trauma and fatigue responsible for their suffering. 

4. The Oblivious codependent  

They live by the doctrine of "ignorance is bliss". It is an effective defense mechanism to keep them comfortable. They not only ignore or deny their problems, they fragment and justify them. By deliberately detaching from the true causes of their problems, and feigning blindness, they uphold the delusional belief that what is not seen simply does not exist

5. Anorexic  codependent

anorexia occurs when a codependent surrenders to their lifelong relationship pattern with pathological narcissist. A codependent person often goes into codependent anorexia when they have bottomed out and can no longer tolerate the pain caused by the narcissist. This is a control measure to feel protected, but they starve themselves of normal emotional and sexual intimacy. Also, once the non-romantic "diet" breaks down, their insatiable "hunger" will return to the mischievous narcissists.

How to reduce codependency tendencies 

• The first step in reducing codependent tendencies is to focus on self-awareness.
• “Learn to speak lovingly and positively to yourself, and resist the impulse to self-criticize,”
• Take small steps towards some separation in the relationship. Seek activities outside of the relationship and invest in new friendships. Focus on figuring out the things that make you who you are, and then expand upon them.
• When tempted to think or worry about someone else, actively turn your attention inward. This takes practice, so be kind to yourself along the way.
• “Stand up for yourself if someone criticizes, undermines, or tries to control you,”
• By working on building your own sense of self-esteem, you’ll find more strength in yourself.
• Don’t be afraid to say "no" to someone when you don’t really want to do something.
• If one-on-one therapy doesn’t appeal to you, consider trying a support group or group psychotherapy,

Sources:
themindsjournal.com/types-codependency-personality
psychologytoday.com/six-hallmarks-codependence
positivepsychology.com/codependency-definition-signs-worksheet
www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles
verywellmind.com/what-is-codependency