10 Signs Of Narcissistic Supply

People exhibiting the qualities associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder seek a constant supply of attention and admiration which is referred to as the narcissistic supply. To attract this attention, narcissists often use a "false self" that can attract people to them. However, since narcissists are all about protecting themselves and unable to make healthy connections, they tend to target the most vulnerable in order to feed their supply.

What is a narcissistic supply?

Attention-seeking behavior — positive or negative — is referred to as narcissistic supply. Narcissistic supply is a form of psychological addiction in which the narcissist requires, and even demands, unlimited special treatment, admiration, importance, or validation to nurture their sense of entitlement and self-focus. In essence, the narcissistic supply is how narcissists treat the world in making it a safe place for them to grow up.

The desire for attention, rewards, and validation is not narcissistic in nature. We all need to feel heard and have a sense of belonging. But narcissists crave this attention like an addict in need of fixing. Narcissists will deliberately find or create situations in which they are regularly the center of attention. Narcissists are never satisfied - no matter how much attention they receive, it will never be enough.

Some common forms of narcissistic supply are:

• Accomplishments, such as winning 
• An addictive substance or activity 
• Attention 
• Compliments or praise 
• Emotional energy (can be positive or negative) 
• Feeling powerful (having power over you) 
• Feeling in control (being able to control you, and thus, their environment) 
• Finances 
• Living arrangements 
• Status

What are the sources of narcissistic supply? 

Sources of narcissistic supply are those who give the narcissist attention on a regular basis: this can include spouse, friends, colleagues, business partners, teachers, neighbors, etc. The primary narcissistic supply, or victimization, reasserts false self and grandiose fantasies that allow for an inflated sense of self-worth through praise and attention. The secondary narcissistic supply is the manifestation of the good life. Both primary and secondary narcissistic supply is a recycled commodity to be used at the narcissist's will.

There are three important components of a narcissistic Supply:

• The Trigger of supply  is the person or thing that induces the source to surrender by confronting the source with information about the narcissist's false self. 
• The source of the narcissistic supply is the person or thing(s) that provide the narcissist with those things that give them their sense of self-worth, and nurture the false self 
• Narcissistic supply is the source's reaction to the trigger

Why do narcissists use people this way?

Narcissists have a great need for attention. Because of low self-esteem and lack of acceptance in childhood, they look for ways to feel important and appreciated. During childhood, caregivers often ignore their emotional needs, never caring about their inner child. These "caregivers" have been emotionally abandoned, causing psychological damage that extends into adulthood. As a result, the narcissist uses people and other things to provide for their emotional needs known as narcissistic supply.

The closer you are to the narcissist, the more they use you as a controllable resource. For some people, this can be mistaken because the narcissist has strong feelings for you. this is not true. They consider themselves flawed and unloved. So, if you love them, you are flawed and the target of their punishment. Your self-loathing and shame are now passed on to you. They choose you because you are easier to manipulate or more suited to their needs. It is not a badge of honor.

Signs of narcissistic supply:

1- Identity disorder: 

The longer the relationship with Narc, the less you will feel, act, look, and talk like you do. This comes from the fire that dictates who you are. If you tell them how you feel, Narc will twist it and say "No that's who you are now" or "I know who you really are." Many Victims After Narc Affair Will Say 'I Don't Know Who I Am'

2- Cognitive dissonance: 

A condition when your mind passes through two opposing or opposing thoughts. For example, they love you but don't want to see you happy. Then if you ask them "How can you love me if you don't want me to be happy" they answer something like "How can you accuse me of that? I didn't accuse you of that despite what we've been through". They turn it on you again and twist things to keep you in a constant state of confusion. Nothing makes sense and you live in a constant state of confusion because your mind is struggling with what is real and what is not.

3- They violate and exploit your limits.

Many narcissists don't relate to others - they use them. This form of narcissistic supply is based on the submission of others to the narcissist's needs. They use their magic or power of persuasion or manipulation to force people to give in to irrational unilateral demands or to compromise their limits. Narcissists view this as a win and an advantage under their hat as their self assured.

4. You begin to doubt your sanity. 

Narcissists are emotional manipulators who are drawn to people who are peaceful, kind, and generous. However, their desire is to systematically erase these traits from that person and create a mirror for themselves. Over time, as they manipulate your feelings and the explosions continue, the brain will form associations and the Narc Sup will begin to believe they are losing their minds. When Narc creates an argument and the Narc Sup explodes, Narc will say "Look at you, you're the problem, I don't explode." They change the situation to make you the problem, not them. You remember that this is not what you were before and you start to think that you are the problem.

5. You look or feel like an empty shell.

Because Narc has been slowly erasing who you are, you no longer feel like yourself. It affects the tone of your voice, the light in your eyes and how you look, but is often not realized until after the relationship is over.

6. Emotional detachment.

It's as if someone has shut off the power switch inside of you. You have been conditioned not to experience too many positive emotions because positive emotions threaten them. The Narc rewards your negative feelings by giving you peace without the unexpected outbursts and you end up in a gray area of ​​emotional detachment.

7- Feeling ashamed: 

The narcissist projects their negative feelings to you, and even transfers them to you on a subconscious level. For example, if you are really spending quality time with friends and having fun, Narc will see this as a threat to them and give you a look that makes you wonder what you did to annoy them. You will fall back into the confusion and mental pain that surrounds you wondering what you have done and why they are upset.

8- Anxiety: 

Over time, under these abusive conditions, anxiety levels within Narc Sup increase to harmful levels. Constant anxiety can give way to other psychological problems, for example, phobias. The pattern of drug use is that any social event will be precipitated by a massive explosion so that narcs can release their negative emotions. So, in this event, Narc looks great, while Narc Sup is a mess. This creates a negative association in our brains surrounding being in social situations which, over time, can manifest in social phobia. These Narc Sup character changes are eventually used against them

9. Panic attacks: 

The normal development of anxiety can turn into panic attacks. While this is not always the case, when the brain becomes disconnected and the body is under constant stress, the mind is constantly learning new negative pathways and creating those based on experience. If you suspect you are in this type of relationship, there is no easy answer. Ultimately, once you become a shell of your former self and have exhausted the qualities Narc needs from you, they are more likely to move on. Their need for narcissistic supply is an obsession and will govern their behavior, while you and your changes will be blamed and his 'transition' will be justified.

10- Addicted to the abuser:

Even if you realize that you are in an abusive relationship (friends, family, or a therapist helped you see it), as a result of the abuser's success in undermining your self-esteem, instead of having the ability to truly decide your own destiny, you feel a strong need to win that person's approval. nothing else matters.

How to start healing... 

• Learn to trust your intuition... Trust your intuition: If it's not right... If it puts a knot in your stomach or a lump in your throat, trust it. I know this is hard, but trusting yourself again will make you see things differently. 
• Remember a love relationship. that filled you with peace...even if it was a pet. This is what a relationship should feel like. Focus on the differences between this feeling versus how you feel with your partner. magazine. 
• Journal your feelings on paper. Continue to release the emotions and thoughts surrounding the relationship, and re-read your entries as you progress. See your writing as a novel and be curious to dig into it a bit.
• Go No Contact. The disconnect step involves completely removing the narcissist from your life. This strategy is proven to work as long as you stick to it and stick to it. Sometimes, unfortunately, it is impossible not to completely connect with a narcissist. Sometimes children participate; It could be your boss, co-worker, son, or father. For such incidents, you can use another strategy known as the "Gray Rock" method. It only involves the necessary contact and getting rid of your emotions

Sources:

choosingtherapy.com/narcissistic-supply

katrinamurphycoaching.com/20-signs-of-narcissistic-supply-victimology