7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Got Divorced

 

7 Things I Wish I Knew Before I Get Divorced

Marriage is no easy joke. When you expect your marriage to work out to your liking, it never will. Unless you make adjustments with your spouse, your relationship will fail. The sad thing is that when you finally realize your mistakes, it's all over for your marriage

These are just some of the things I wish I had known before I pushed my marriage toward a divorce. ( As told by one of divorced husbands ) 

1. I could coexist

When you have a misunderstanding with your partner, you do not want to adapt to him/her. Therefore, you are creating a lot of ado about everything your husband does. Do we see how? You find your husband's habits annoying. You don't like his way of doing things.

You never agree with your spouse's decisions because you feel they are not good. You get into petty fights with him for harmless reasons. Your small battles quickly turn into major battles. Your main battles make you feel that you can no longer live with your wife

Unfortunately, it was too late to discover that my husband was not that bad. He had many good qualities. I'm the one who made the mistake of making so much ado about his petty mistakes.” Realization is late, isn't it?

2. I could have accepted it.

 After your marriage, you may find yourself not accepting your wife as she is. You want to change it to your liking. You want to change the way you wear it. Or don't accept many things your husband does for you. There are times when you don't accept his business hours either. You do not accept her family. And you don't accept his friends. 

This causes severe bitterness between you. But after breaking up with your partner, you will learn the most important lessons of stabilizing your relationship too late. "I should have accepted my partner as he is."

3. I could be understanding. 

You didn't really understand your wife when you were together. When he was angry, she never understood why she was so angry. You always assumed that showing her anger was an outright display of her lack of love for you and didn't understand that it was a symptom of your neglect and her need for you. 

You never understood that your spouse needed your emotional support. You never understood that it takes two to make your marriage work. But after the damage is done, you learn your relationship lessons too late. "If I had understood my wife better, I could have saved my marriage."

4. I could have overlooked.

When get involved in  focusing on the minor mistakes of the husband / wife. You fight with him for harmless reasons. You are always ready to catch your husband red-handed. You are turning your husband into a culprit in all your family issues. Finally, looking back on your failed marriage, you learned other relationship lessons too late. "If I had overlooked my wife's mistakes, I could have avoided her divorce."

5. I could have waited.

 When you have problems in the relationship with your spouse, you find yourself you can't wait to get a divorce. You feel like you can't live with him one day. You are not ready for any compromise. In fact, you are in a hurry to separate from your spouse. You all smile when you get the divorce you've been longing for. But after a few days you feel amputated. "Did I do something wrong?" Ask yourself this question many times

6- I should not listen to what others tell me to do

Remember how I said that many marriages end in divorce because of the interference of others and our inability to draw strong boundaries around our relationship? This means that there will be a large number of people telling you what to do, what not to do and chances, and their "advice" will be based on their very emotional experiences that literally have nothing to do with the details of your relationship and the nature of both of you.

7- I could have to avoid the communication gap.

If you don't communicate with each other, you better start doing it. The communication gap can actually lead to a bigger problem in the long run. It is essential that you ask your partner about his day, tell him about yours, talk about chores, work-related stress, etc. Talking to each other will help you build a strong relationship and relieve your stress to a great extent. Believe it or not, talking to your loved ones works as an antidote to many of life's problems Unfortunately, this is what I learned too late