5 Safety Steps To Get Out Of An Abusive Relationship

Ending a toxic relationship marked by emotional abuse is never easy. Perpetrators of emotional abuse isolate, control, and psychologically exhaust their victims, leaving them feeling guilty and often threatening physical violence, so it can be difficult to find the strength to leave. The decision to leave an abusive relationship is a huge one and there are a number of things you can do to help
Steps to protect yourself from the abuser 

Whether or not you're ready to let go of the person who offended you, there are steps you can take to protect yourself. These safety tips may differentiate between severe injury or murder and running away with your life. 

• Know the warning signs of a person who is assaulting you. 
• Be alert for signs and clues that the abuser is upset and may explode in anger or violence. 
• Come up with several reasonable reasons you can use to leave the house (during the day and night) if you feel problems with fermentation. 
• Identify safe areas in the home.
• Know where to go if your assailant attacks you or starts an argument. 
• Avoid small enclosed spaces without exits (such as closets or bathrooms) or rooms with weapons (such as the kitchen). If possible, head to a room with a phone and an outside door or window. 
• Create a code word. Select a word, phrase, or sign that you can use to let your children, friends, neighbors or co-workers know that you are in danger and they should call the police

Safe Exit Plan: 

1- Decide where you are going when you leave. 

Even before you decide to leave completely, start thinking about where you would go if you had to get out quickly. Perhaps you have a friend or family member willing to host you, or you may feel safe in a domestic violence shelter. By making a plan, you will feel more prepared if the situation escalates and you need to get to a safe place.

• Plan how you will get to your safe space, too - you can save the number to the taxi service or hide a copy of your car key in case your primary key set is taken away by the assailant.
• Consider making two exit plans - one for how you'll leave if you have time to get out, and one for what you'll do if you need to leave at any moment. 
• If you have children, decide if it is safe to take them with you or leave them at home. If you think they will be in danger, bring them when you leave. However, if your abuser never targets them, it may be safe to leave you alone at first.

2- Use a public computer or “burner” phone .

If you use your home computer or phone, the abuser may discover that you are considering leaving, and this may escalate the violence. Even if you try to hide your tracks, it can be difficult to completely erase your internet history on these devices - and even if you do, the cleared search can be a clue in itself. You can also buy a disposable phone for surfing the web - but be sure to keep it somewhere the abuser won't find it.

Keep in mind that your assailant has placed recording devices in your home, so be careful what you say on your phone. Likewise, they may track your devices or your car, so be aware of this as you prepare to leave

3- Save some money if you can.

If possible, set aside a few dollars a week - just enough so the abuser doesn't even notice it's gone. Even a little extra money can really come in handy when you're trying to get away from an abusive home. Either store some cash in a hidden place or open a separate checking account without the name of your abuser. 

Unfortunately, it is common for abusers to control money in the home. Even if you can't save any money, you can still get help from domestic violence groups and local shelters.

4- Prepare the packed bag.

Keep it hidden in your home or leave the bag with friends, family, or at work if possible. And take the following items with you:

• Birth and marriage certificates 
• Driver's license or other ID card and Social Security card
• School and medical records 
• keys 
• Passports, green cards and work permits
• Protection orders, divorce papers and custody orders 
• Bank and credit card statements 
• Medicines & Medications
• A written list of important phone numbers. 
• Evidence of abuse if you have it, such as police reports, medical records, or photos of your injuries.
• If you have children, fill out documents such as birth certificates, social security cards, insurance information, and vaccination records 

Talk to the staff at your local domestic violence agency to learn more about the help they can provide. In an emergency, call 911 first

5- Consider filing a charge or obtaining a restraining order.

If you have evidence that the person who abused you physically abused or threatened you, you may be able to file criminal charges against them, or you may be able to obtain a restraining order. However, there is always the possibility that the abuser will ignore an order to stay away from you, so don't let that give you a false sense of security - do your best to hide your location from the person who offended you.

Keep a phone with you at all times. If the abuser finds you, call emergency services immediately. Sometimes the police will not be able to do anything if there is no active threat, but you will at least document the situation - and if the person who offended you sees you call the police, they will most likely leave you alone .

 If you live in your own home: 

• Consider changing your locks or installing stronger doors.
• If an exchange of children is necessary, arrange a safe, neutral place for the exchange to take place. 
• If the abuser comes to your house, there is no need to let him in. Close the doors and call the police

Related Article : 6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

Sources

extension.umn.edu/safety-planning-and-abusive-relationships

wikihow.com/Get-Out-of-an-Abusive-Relationship

helpguide.org/getting-out-of-an-abusive-relationship.htm