6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

6 Steps To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

How To Get Out Of A Toxic Relationship

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked. On a basic level, any relationship that makes you feel worse rather than better can become toxic over time.

Toxic relationships can exist in just about any context, from the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom. You may even deal with toxic relationships among your family members.

A relationship is toxic when your well-being is threatened in some way—emotionally, psychologically, and even physically.

Signs of a Toxic Relationship

Only you can tell if the bad outweighs the good in a relationship. But if someone consistently threatens your well-being by what they're saying, doing, or not doing, it's likely a toxic relationship.

Relationships that involve physical or verbal abuse are definitely classified as toxic. But there are other, more subtle, signs of a toxic relationship, including:

• You give more than you're getting, which makes you feel devalued and depleted.
• You feel consistently disrespected or that your needs aren't being met.
• You feel a toll on your self-esteem over time.
• You feel unsupported, misunderstood, demeaned, or attacked.
• You feel depressed, angry, or tired after speaking or being with the other person.
• You bring out the worst in each other. For example, your competitive friend brings out a spite-based competitive streak that is not enjoyable for you.
• You are not your best self around the person. For example, they bring out the gossipy side of you, or they seem to draw out a mean streak you don't normally have.
• You feel like you have to walk on eggshells around this person to keep from becoming a target of their venom.
• You spend a lot of time and emotional strength trying to cheer them up.
• You are always to blame. They turn things around so things you thought they had done wrong are suddenly your fault.

Why is it so hard to leave

People are restricted in relationship patterns that can be difficult to break out of. Some may feel financially trapped or anxious about their children. In abusive relationships, victims make an average of seven attempts to end the relationship before they do, according to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. 

Here 6 are the reasons why people find it difficult to get out of a toxic relationship:

• Fear: In abusive relationships, one partner is likely to be very manipulative toward the other. This often includes making physical, emotional, or financial threats if the other person talks about leaving. As a result, the victim may fear leaving her partner. 

• Children: For couples who have children together, it may be very difficult to leave due to the perceived negative impact on children. There may also be concerns about custody.

• Love: There may be feelings of love left that make someone in a relationship. 

• Finances: If one partner is financially dependent on the other, this can complicate the logistics of departure.

• Shame: Many people hide the nature of their relationships from their friends, family, and acquaintances. As a result, they suffer silently because they are ashamed to ask anyone for help. They may turn to drugs or alcohol for solace, exacerbating the toll this relationship takes.

• Codependency: It can be difficult to break free from the unbalanced relationship dynamic where one partner is constantly giving and the other taking it, as in dependent relationships.

6 Steps to get out of  a toxic relationship

 Ending a bad relationship can be really complicated. Here are some things you can do to make the process easier: 

1.  Build a safety network: If you're thinking of calling it in, make a plan for how you'll handle the transition. Where will you stay What possessions will you need to bring with you? Don't do this at random. This process must be well thought out.
2. Set a goal to be independent: If you don't have a career or a way to support yourself, it's time to start carving that path. Go to school, get training, and start working (even if it's a low-level or part-time job). Your financial independence is one of the main paths to freedom.
3. Surround yourself with positive friends: Refresh your cache by taking a look at friends or family members who can support you. They will give you courage and an idea of ​​what life can be like outside of a toxic relationship. These are the people who will stay by your side after you end the relationship. You will need them for emotional support, help with a job, or ideas for a new place to live. Research shows that the quality of your relationships can affect your immune system, as well as your mood, motivation, and coping skills..
4. Seek professional help: Getting out of and recovering from a toxic relationship will take effort and time. Connect with support groups or counselors who have experience with relationship issues. A therapist can be a great unbiased resource to guide you and hold you accountable for creating and achieving your goals. An experienced family law attorney is also essential if you are leaving the marriage.
5. Apply No Contact : Toxic people are very cunning and can use emotional blackmail to lure you back in. When you make the decision to leave your partner, stop any form of communication with them unless you have children and need a parent. In this case, communicate only about the children. If you need to file a restraining order, do so.
6. Self Care activities: Being part of a toxic relationship is extremely detrimental to your self-esteem and mental health. It may take some time before you are ready to be part of another relationship. Don't rush into this. Take time for yourself. To help yourself recover, make time for hobbies. Start working on a pet project or your own business. Take that trip you've always wanted to go on.

Source:

VERYWELLMIND