Can Relationship Go Back To Normal After Cheating?

One of the hardest times in a relationship or marriage is when your partner cheats on you. Then you have to decide whether you want to stay in the relationship or break up. Cheating means that your partner is lying and manipulating you. Therefore, it can be difficult for you to decide whether to forgive and give your cheating partner a second chance.

When someone cheats on you, it hurts a lot because that trust was broken and often abused. The cheater usually lied, deceived, and insulted the other person while cheating, thereby breaking the sacred bond of the relationship. Infidelity, sadness, and anger are rational and justified feelings that follow the effects of infidelity.

Trust is fragile and hard to restore in a relationship. It takes an investment of time and energy to rebuild it again, as when trust withers, so does the relationship. Although cheating is devastating, it can also be a wake-up call for both people regarding the status of their relationship and the aspects they are neglecting. If both parties choose to move forward together, this should be something they take on more so that it doesn't happen again.

When should you forgive a cheater?

There are a lot of variables that come into play when considering whether or not to forgive a cheater and give them a second chance. Then dive into how to forgive a cheater once you've decided that it's worth it. It largely depends on how willing and motivated both parties are to maintain the relationship. You both need first of all honestly and faithfully to be in a relationship together.

Infidelity does not always mean that the relationship is over, the chance of a relationship recovery is more optimistic if your partner truly feels remorse. Indeed, but they need to fully acknowledge their destructive behavior and take full responsibility for it. Real remorse is a huge indicator that there is hope in a relationship, especially if you've been together for a long time and have kids together. But, both of you must realize that your relationship will never be the same. You can't just pretend like nothing ever happened if you want to change anything. You both have a lot of hard work to make the relationship work.

Here are some suggestions that will help you make the right decision.

Questions to consider before giving your partner a second chance: It's important to really think about everything that is involved in repairing your relationship such as healing your pain, rebuilding trust, learning to be intimate again, and improving communication. Here are some important questions to ask yourself.

Is this the first time your partner cheats on you?
Does your partner understand the harm they have caused?
Does your partner realize cheating is a problem?
Has your partner accepted responsibility for being unfaithful?
Regardless of the reasons for infidelity, will your partner accept that changes in their behavior are needed?
Has your partner apologized?
Do you think your partner feels remorse and really regrets being unfaithful?
Will your partner attend marital and individual counseling?
Do you think you can trust your partner again?
Do you think your relationship is worth saving?
Do you think your partner's betrayal will forever haunt your mind and heart?
Can you forgive your partner or will you put disbelief over his head?
Are you thinking about revenge or retaliating?
Will your family and friends support reconciliation efforts or hinder the process?
Are you both ready to work on your relationship and figure out how to solve basic problems?

Answering these questions honestly can help you decide if you should give your partner a second chance. See your answers. Are they mostly positive? Or are there areas of concern? You may wish to discuss this list with a counselor or other neutral party who can help you assess your situation.

Red Flags That Should Not Be Ignored:

There are times in a relationship when you should reconsider giving your partner a second chance. Of course, the choice is still yours, but giving a second chance when these red flags are present may mean that true reconciliation is unlikely. Think twice about giving a second chance when:

Your partner had an affair with a previous partner.
The affair was full-fledged and long-term..
Your partner shows no remorse or does not apologize.
Cheating occurred early in the relationship.
Cheating is a sequential or pattern of behavior
Your partner is abusive or controlling.

Although it can be difficult to accept, not every relationship can be reconciled. There are times when a cheating partner refuses to end an affair or has a consistent pattern of cheating. In these cases, drastic changes must occur before any reconciliation can be successful. If these red flags are obvious in your case, consider seeking individual advice before making any permanent decisions.

How To Repair Relationship after cheating?

How to repair a broken marriage after cheating? It is possible that the relationship will return to "normal," or even stronger than it was before the infidelity. But this does not happen overnight, and it requires hard work on both sides. For cheaters, they must come to terms with what they cannot achieve within themselves that has led them to cheat. They have to heal their personal damage, and then heal the damage they have caused due to their mistakes. For someone who has been cheated on, it can be very difficult to achieve forgiveness after the betrayal. Grieving takes time, time to heal, more time to forgive, and even longer to give confidence. However, two people can use this time to heal together and develop a stronger foundation built on honesty and communication.

If you decide to give your partner a second chance, it may make sense to stress that this is a one-time opportunity. They need to understand that there will be no more chances if they cheat again. It is important to emphasize that your desire to reconcile the relationship does not mean that you condone cheating behavior. Meanwhile, the partner who cheated should be willing to explain why they cheated. They must also be apologetic and honest, and they must keep their promises. They also need to realize that there will be questions about their commitment. Thus, they may need to agree to set healthy boundaries about their future behaviors.

Although it is best to discuss these boundaries with a relationship or marriage counselor, your partner may agree to allow you full access to their phone, text messages, social media accounts, and emails. They may also agree not to have lunch or dinner alone with someone who might be a potential romantic partner. For a long time, you may worry and wonder whether or not they will cheat again. Therefore,

These boundaries serve two purposes: They provide you with a sense of security while holding your partner accountable.

Relationship repair may not always work, however, and it can get ugly. Commitment is a two-way street that takes dedication from both parties. It takes both people to be brutally honest with each other, even the subtleties and guts of a relationship, while still being supportive of each other. If you choose to forgive your partner (or even if you don't), remember that holding grudges will ultimately be an obstacle to your recovery and happiness.

If you forgive your partner and really want to work on your relationship, don't put their faults above their heads. Constantly mentioning and/or punishing them for their infidelity will only lead to resentment by both parties, and will greatly impede the progress of the entire relationship.

Couple therapy can be very helpful when deciding to salvage the relationship after infidelity. Working with a marriage counselor or couple therapist will help heal wounds, facilitate clear and effective communication, and ideally rebuild trust between the two of you. It can also help both people understand why infidelity occurred, which may give way to sympathy. Couples will also need to see the incident as an opportunity to examine what went wrong and what could be improved, such as emotional dissatisfaction, sexual desires, or communication. Additionally, monogamy must be addressed and discussed, with clear boundaries set.

Top Bar

Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer