6 Mind Games Narcissists Play

Do you feel like you can never stand up to your narcissistic partner? Or maybe it's your narcissistic parent, friend, or neighbor? Do you find that they are always one step ahead of you?

In a way, narcissists have the ability to "know" which buttons to push and which will hurt you the most. This is because narcissists are expert mind game players. The narcissist is a master of manipulation. They can make you do things you don't want to do and think thoughts you don't want to think...all under the guise of 'love'.

The Narcissistic Mind Games:

There are many different types of narcissistic mind games, but in this case, we are talking about different types of emotional manipulation. Emotional manipulation can be so subtle, smooth, and insidious that you hardly even notice it's happening.Sometimes a narcissist's words and actions are so contradictory that you may question your judgment.

Every game has a purpose, whether it's to keep us hooked in the cycle of abuse, to use us to provision, or to manipulate us into giving them what they want. These games are designed to make you feel insecure, relatively inferior to them, encourage you to compete with them or put your energy into get their approval. So once we know what these games are, we can beware of them and learn how to break free.

Why do narcissists play mind games?

To be able to play mind games, a narcissist must completely ignore the feelings of others. They have no empathy and cannot see or feel their pain. They have no ability to communicate with others on any level other than the superficial one. They have no interest in others as people other than how they use them, and they lie for no reason other than to avoid being honest.

In other words, narcissists play mind games to control others and be in power. The main objective is to confuse, deceive and manipulate. They enjoy 'chasing' and 'hunting' more than actual 'killing' so they want you to stay hooked at all times so they can keep playing this game. Whether conscious or otherwise, the narcissist's goal is to keep you in control

This way, they will have more control over you because you will be so focused on trying to figure them out that you can't even tell what's going on. Plus, in most cases, mind games involve tearing you apart and making you feel worthless - so you won't believe you can do anything better than them. It can be hard to believe that a guy who loves you would intentionally try to hurt you, but if he's a narcissist, that's exactly what he's doing. But you have to understand that a narcissist cannot love you the same way you do.

Mind Games Played by Narcissists:

Those who live with NPD often have low self-esteem. As a result, many of the relationship games they play may revolve around maintaining a sense of control, so they don't have to face the shame they may feel inside.

“People with narcissistic personality disorder tend to use strategies to gain power and control over the individual in order to assert superiority and/or dominance over them,” says Rahma Albogami, a licensed professional counselor in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. "In this way, their needs are met to enhance their vanity, value, and self-esteem."

Some of the common games a person with narcissistic personality disorder might participate in include:

1-Love Bombing:

Love bombing is often a term used to describe when a Narcissist is showering you with u flattery, mirroring, compliments, adoration, romance, etc. to lure and hook their person into their web. It is the first stage of narcissistic abuse called idealization. The stages after the love bombing stage are: devaluing and discarding.

Love bombing can also be used when a narcissist feels like they are losing power or control over their person as a tactic to lure the person back in.

“It's often used to win over your trust and affection so that they can meet a goal of theirs,” explains Shirin Peykar, MA, a licensed marriage and family therapist.
A narcissistic person love bombs so that the other partner can develop emotional, physical, or financial dependence on them

2-Play the victim:

In general, people with narcissistic personality disorder have difficulty recognizing their own behaviors and how they affect others. They may not be able to "see" it even when you point at it. This is why they may feel attacked when you contradict them or tell them they did something wrong. This just doesn't align with their inflated sense of self. This is part of the complexity of narcissistic personality disorder.

A tendency to poor self-reflection combined with an exaggerated sense of superiority may make them unable to see the situation in a way that does not fit their worldview. As a result, they may "play the victim" in some scenarios.

Pointing at themselves to keep the focus on them
Fake tears or no tears at all
Telling sad stories
Pretending they are worried about you
Emphasizing details they know will trigger your emotions
Excessive body gestures (e.g. throwing hands up in the air)

3-Gaslighting:

Gaslighting is a form of psychological/emotional abuse where the abuser manipulates situations repeatedly to trick the victim into doubting this/her own memory, perception and sanity. Gaslighting is a form of mind-control leaving victims afraid to trust their own experience and memories of a situation.

Other things they might do is argue that you said something or did something that you know you didn’t do, they are relentless, and you start to get confused.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

Do you feel confused or belittled?
Is your intuition telling you something is off?
You might start to have trouble making decisions or distrust yourself.
Do you feel like you lost yourself or don’t know the person you used to be?

4-Triangulation

Triangulation is when a toxic or manipulative person, often a person with strong narcissistic traits, brings a third person into their relationship in order to remain in control. There will be limited or no communication between the two triangulated individuals except through the manipulator. It may appear in different forms, but all are about divide and conquer, or playing people against each other. It is a highly effective strategy to gain an advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with one another.

Triangulation is the method used by narcissistically inclined individuals to soothe and protect their ego, in part because they lack whole object relations. This is the inability to see that most people have a mix of good and bad qualities and seeing things as black or white only. According to Psychcentral

5-Ghosting

Ghosting” is a relatively modern dating term. The Urban Dictionary defines it as the shutdown or ceasing of communication with someone without notice. It can be done through blocking of phone numbers, social media profiles, and dating accounts; or, the one doing the ghosting will just leave the other person on “read” and never answer.

The reason narcissists can walk away without a final goodbye is due to the fact they lack crucial human components of caring how their actions affect others. As long as they are comfortable, it doesn’t matter how others feel.

Ghosting may also occur when someone does not feel that you can provide them with something they consider valuable. They may stop calling as part of the "devaluation and devaluation" behavior pattern. Or Maybe this person has lost interest in you or just wants to know how much you really care about him.

Regardless of the reason, this movement of power may be another manipulative tactic to try to gain control of the relationship.

6-Divide and conquer game.

Narcissist uses divide and conquers to break down relationships of those around them, to pull people away from support, so people can not learn the actual reality and expose the narcissists lies

Narcissists love to conquer people by succeeding in deceiving them, making them believe whatever the narcissist wants them to believe…especially when it makes them fight with each other.

The narcissist divide and conquer is a manipulation technique they use to.

Gain power.
Gain control.
Isolate you from support.
Isolate people from reality.
To gaslight to distort our reality, beliefs, values and opinions.

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Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer