7 Ways To Make Introverts-Extroverts Relationship Work
Introverts and extroverts have different needs and ways to satisfy those needs.“Introversion and extroversion are how we charge our batteries. Extroverts get their batteries charged from being around others, and introverts get their batteries from being alone,” explains Emily C Claire, director of couple services at The Family Institute of Chicago. Both parties have difficulty recharging their batteries. An introvert is like 'I'm never alone, go away'. An extrovert who may have been somewhat social didn't have many of his socializing needs. "
If you're an introvert, you may need more time to recharge after spending time with others, explains Joanna Philidor, LMFT, peer counselor and Talk-space therapist. This does not necessarily mean that you are antisocial - you just need more time alone to energize you and you may enjoy the company of others in more intimate places.
"Introverts also tend to appreciate slowly building trust within a relationship as well as spending quality time together," adds Dillonardo. For those who are in a relationship with an introvert, she says being able to understand those needs and make space for them can be valuable.
If one person values time alone while the other is satisfied by going out and joining large groups of people, it may seem that this can lead to a lot of conflict or differences. This is where compromise and communication come in. Here are some things to consider
Here are 7 ways to make introverts and extroverts relationship work
1. Awareness.
- Realize that their differences are normal personality differences.
- Sٍtop thinking that there must be something wrong with the other person. They stop waiting for the other person to change.
2. Respect each other's energy needs.
The most important difference between extroverts and introverts has to do with energy. Extroverts tend to feel energized by social situations and high activity levels. On the other hand, introverts' energies will be depleted faster in social situations.
- Give the introvert time to recharge without feeling guilty about it. Don't take your introvert's need to spend time alone as a rejection of you or anyone else. It has nothing to do with you.
- Participate in as many activities as possible without compromising your need to spend time alone.
- Encourage the extrovert to go into social interactions without you if you are unable to go.
- Don't make your extrovert feel guilty for doing things without you.
3. Accept difference.
- Extroverts usually have a large number of friends and acquaintances, while introverts do well with few.
- Extroverts engage in fast-paced group discussions, while introverts usually prefer deeper conversation with one person.
- The key to making a marriage like this work is accepting that we are different (again!) and knowing how each of the people can get the kind of social connection they need and like.
Read Also: 5 Effective Ways To Set Boundaries As An Introvert
4. Learn each other's languages.
There is no real good reason why an extrovert can't go to chat events that he or she is an extrovert. Remember that most introverts don't want to be alone at home all the time. Introverts prefer smaller groups and more in-depth conversations. The danger of following the bullet advice above is that the extrovert gets out of the chat so much that the introvert starts to feel lonely. So be sure to set aside plenty of time for the couple as well for introverts who crave deep connection.
ٍSo As extrovert ,pause the conversation to allow time for your inclusion to participate. An introvert needs time to think and process what you just said. The pausing does not mean that the introvert doesn't have anything to say or doesn't want to share what's on his/her mind. Sometimes an introvert just needs a brief pause, but sometimes they may not have the answer until several hours or even days later.
Also as an Introvert you must listen to your extravert talk, Show interest and enthusiasm to make them feel heard. Extroverts think out loud. Allow them to jump from one topic to another and not always reach a conclusion. So If you need time to think, let the extrovert know and promise to get back to them instead of just leaving them hanging.
5. Sometimes you need to ask (and then listen).
Like any relationship, communication is key. This includes letting your partner know your needs and preferences so they don't misread the situation. "It is important to have a conversation early on with this partner to explain what those needs are and to make it clear that these reactions are not personal."
It is helpful to ask specific questions. What do you hate the most as introvert? What kind of socialization is least problematic for him or her? What are their criteria? You may or may not have thought about the details.But maybe if you ask a few questions, you'll start to discover a compromise to meet each of your needs. Maybe you need to go to the big parties alone or with friends, but your partner is okay with small dinner gatherings. Your partner probably actually enjoys big parties, as long as you don't always try to get him to get out of his quiet corner. And maybe you're really good at whatever you want to do, as long as you play the Social director.
what about you? Maybe it's okay to go out on your own, but you don't like the chill in the air when you get home. Or you'd rather the introvert stay home than agree to go out and then seem hurt. You probably need to know how often you can invite people home each week or month without disturbing your partner (but "never" is not an acceptable answer).
6. Divide the responsibilities on the basis of personality.
Being married to someone else actually has some benefits as well. As if he doesn't mind doing some things that you can't stand and vice versa. Take full advantage of this and divide family and household responsibilities based on personal differences.
Here are some examples of how tasks are divided:- Grocery shopping.
- Run errands. Make phone calls.
- Take kids for hobbies and birthday parties.
- Financial Affairs
- Planning and scheduling.
- Cooking and cleaning.
7. Conflict management
"You're going to be based on these intrinsic differences between people. When you sign up to be in a relationship with someone, you basically sign up for 69% of these tensions to come up because of the core differences in your personalities as a human being."
Introverts and extroverts deal with conflict differently. “Introverts may experience conflict about wanting to spend time alone or not wanting to address conflict immediately.” Rather than wanting to be processed, introverts often value time for themselves; the ability to process internally before expressing things externally.
If an introvert can express their needs and desired outcomes to their partner, their partner can be aware of this and not take this personally but rather That's understanding why an individual might sometimes need some space."
On the other hand, extroverts may want to address conflict at the right time and there. To help both parties, specialists recommend a break of 20-30 minutes so that everyone can self-regulate. It will give the introvert more time to process, while the time won't seem too long for an extrovert who wants to tackle the problem head on. "Differences in conflict resolution can be one of the biggest causes of conflict," So. “It is important to be clear about each other's needs and expectations when conflict arises or when there is tension
No comments
Post a Comment