10 Guilt Tripping Tactics Narcissist Use To Manipulate You

10 Guilt Tripping Tactics Narcissist Use To Manipulate You 

The narcissistic guilt  trip is to reinforce another person's sense of guilt or a sense of responsibility for changing their behavior or acting in a specific way. Because guilt can be a powerful motivator of human behavior, narcissists use it as a tool to change the way others think, feel, and act. Sometimes this may involve relying on something that someone already feels guilty about. In other cases, the narcissist may cause feelings of undue guilt or responsibility to manipulate the other person's emotions and behaviors.

Guilt tripping often occur in intimate relationships - in other words, they can arise in any relationship in which you care about the other person's feelings and have emotional bonds.

Guilt trips aren't always straightforward and easy to spot.Sometimes, this particular form of psychological manipulation can occur in passive-aggressive behavior toward a victim. This behavior can include isolation, silent treatment or outright hostility. 
The purpose is to destabilize the victims and thus manipulate them into feeling guilt and ashamed of themselves, even when they are not. 

Narcissist people  may invoke past occasions or situations when they were assisting (or at least appearing to be) for their victims. Common topics for this particular trick are “Look at how much I did for you,” “If it didn’t work for me, where would you be,” “Remember when I was there for you,” and other similar phrases.

Types Of Narcissistic Guilt Trips: 

Several types of guilt can appear in a relationship with a narcissist , but they all have the same goal: to make the person feel ashamed to give in to what the narcissistic partner wants. 

Consider the following ways to use guilt to manipulate: 

Moral Education: Moral guilt occurs when someone tries to convince you that your decision or way of doing things is immoral and that their way is better. 

Seeking sympathy: Acting as if they have been hurt is another way that the person supposed to  feel guilty. The guilt fumble will talk at length about how the other person's behavior has hurt him, hoping that he will feel ashamed and change his behavior out of sympathy for his faults.

Manipulation: Guilt in relationships can sometimes take the form of simple manipulation, in which someone plans to make the other person feel guilty, so that the person feels obligated to do something they wouldn't normally do. This allows guilt trippers to make sure they get their way. 

Conflict Avoidance: This form of guilt may appear when the guilt tripper appears visibly upset, but insists that there is nothing wrong. The goal here is for the other person to pick up on the feelings of guilt, feel bad, and change their behavior.

10 Signs That You May Experiencing Narcissistic Guilt Trips:

1. Always Makes You Feel Bad :

Does your narcissistic partner make comments indicating that you don't work as hard as they, their parents, or other people they know at home, work, or both?

This narcissist always focuses on destroying your self-esteem with negative comments and you always feel bad around him

 2. They Use The Past Against You. 

The narcissist person might remind you of some mistakes you may have made before. The agenda there is to attack your credibility and reduce your sense of self-worth. If your partner continues to remember the past to control you, then it is guilt.

They may have a misguided belief  or a hidden goal that reminding you of your past mistakes makes you the better person they want you to be. Or they may not be able to accept that you are changing against their best interest, so they keep reminding you of your past.

3- Intensifying Passive-Aggressive Behaviors Against You: 

Passive aggressive behaviors are those that involve acting indirectly aggressive rather than directly aggressively. Passive aggression is the manipulation and exploitation of a partner's goodwill, guilt, sense of duty and obligation, or the instinct of protection and nurture, in order to extract unreasonable advantages and concessions." To make this situation even more confusing, it is uncommon for passive abusers to speak openly and honestly about their actual feelings. They generally They are unable to express their actual feelings in an open and healthy manner.

One common way of a passive-aggressive person is to blame others and use shameful words and statements when they don't get what they want (uncovered want). Lots of "You must have..." or "Why didn't you...?". Or telling you about yourself in phrases such as “You are not ready…” or “You never listen…” or “What is wrong with you…”. 

Read Also : 5 Guilt -Free Steps To Deal With Gilt Trippers

4. They Make You Feel Guilty Through Favors: 

Does your narcissistic partner always remind you of the sacrifices and favors they have made for you in the past? It may be just one or an old exceptional situation, but they keep mentioning it at every opportunity and every occasion so that they can instill guilt in you for doing whatever they wants or preventing you from doing something useful to you.

5. Triangulation:

When you do something they doesn't like or when you want to do something they doesn't, the's comparing you to other people. For example, if you tell him you don't want to stay and watch movies on Friday night, he might say things like, "Well, my ex and I used to stay and watch movies and we always had a blast," or "My ex used to compromise when she knew I was tired." From a long week of work even if you don't want to." 

Narcissistic triangulation is, brings a third person into their relationship in order to remain in control. There will be limited or no communication between the two triangulated individuals except through the manipulator.

They tries endlessly to make you feel guilty for not doing what he wants to do by comparing you to people who "always" do what he wants to do. In order to get what he wants, he is trying to convince you that what you want to do is wrong or that it does not live up to his unreasonable standards.

6. They Use Silent Treatment: 

Guilt is a powerful emotion in the human psyche. Silent treatment is a highest form of emotional guilt stumbling. Withholding affection, attention, and respect is a passive-aggressive way to induce feelings of guilt in others. It is an incredibly painful experience, especially if you are close to the person who is ignoring you. If you continue this silent treatment primarily because you are supposed to feel bad about what you did, then this is a typical behavior that stems from guilt.

7. They Play The Role Of "Martyr":

They act as if everything they do is for the sake of the relationship and your happiness. If he's one of those people, he's probably constantly making "self-sacrificing" promises. They says things like, "I'd do anything for you" and then follow up with "even if you don't do anything for me." If you try to break up with him, he manipulates you by saying things like, "I understand, but just know that no matter what, I will love you to the end and will always fight for you." 

You pick up on the fact that they are not always real (no matter how much they might pretend) and you realize that most of what they says is only meant to set you up in the relationship or make you feel guilty.

8. Continuous Gaslighting: 

Gaslighting is a form of psychological/emotional abuse & guilt tripping in which the abuser repeatedly manipulates situations to trick the victim into questioning her memory, perception, and sanity. Gaslighting is a form of mind control that leaves victims afraid to trust their own experience and memories of the situation. 

9. Playing The Victim :

A common narcissistic strategy is to play the victim. you hurt me! Poor, poor me. Instead of dealing with the problem with you or internally, they have no problem dragging others into it by lying and portraying you as the culprit and themselves as the victim. 

Oftentimes, this includes the aforementioned preemptive strike or provocation to elicit a reaction like guilt. For example, destroying your property, slandering you, inciting people against you, or physically assaulting you. And then when you respond appropriately to their active or passive aggression, they can now say that you are the aggressor because you hurt them or that you are irrational because of your unacceptably brutal behavior.And That what make you fell guilty.

10. Making Drama Out Of Nothing. 

Is this person hitting things disproportionately? Do they exaggerate the details to make things seem more complicated than they really are? Another notable red flag for guilt tripping is if you can see someone is intentionally antagonizing you over seemingly minor mistakes. Instead of looking for constructive solutions to the problem, the narcissistic person focuses on making you feel bad.

How to deal with guilt stumbling in relationships 

1- Stay Grounded: 

Make it clear to them that their behavior is unacceptable. You can tell them that you realize it's important for them to do what they want, but their approach is too disgusting to ensure that doesn't happen. 

If they want you to do the thing, they need to learn how to ask you with kindness and respect.

If you don't want to do something, say something like, "I see how important this is to you, but it's not something I'd like to do, as much as it might bother you, I won't. And that's it."

2- Set boundaries. 

Boundaries helping you to set  limits on what you will and will not accept. Learning to set and maintain boundaries will help you over time. Give yourself permission to say no, hold your guns, and don't allow yourself to be forced to do anything you can't actually do. Let your partner know that you can and will do what they ask you to do but as much as you can, and stick to what you say.

Even if you end up helping them with their request, make sure you state your boundaries clearly and explain the consequences of going beyond those limits. Then be sure to apply these limits if they are exceeded.

3- Do not defend yourself. 

Don't get involved with someone who is bent on persecuting you. You can spend countless hours of your life playing the game I'm Not Me! Don't waste your breath. Some people just need to make others wrong, bad, mean and guilty. Instead of being defensive, just say a comment like, maybe you're right; or I'm sorry you feel this way; Or I'll think about it a bit. Then walk away. Remember, it takes two to argue.

4- Stop trying to win the approval of others. 

One of the reasons people criminalizing guilt trips are so effective is that most people generally want the approval of others. It is natural for people to want approval, but when dealing with narcissists, it is not wise. In fact, when you find yourself needing a manipulator's approval, you discover that you are losing yourself in the process. It's really not worth it. 

It is better to enjoy the luxury of freedom from needing the approval of others than to give your power to someone else. Mentally tell yourself this mantra: I'd rather have freedom than your approval.

Read Also: 6 Ways To Set Boundaries With A Toxic Person