7 Subtle Signs OF Covert Narcissist And How to Respond

7 Subtle Signs OF Covert Narcissist And How to Respond

Have you ever experienced living a perplexing life with someone where you find you don't know what's going on inside them, they say one thing and do another? All the while, they have an excessive sense of entitlement and superiority, despite their circumstances not suggesting so. That's what life is like with a covert narcissist, a series of contradictions and psychological .and verbal battles.

What is Covert Narcissism?

Covert narcissism, also known as vulnerable or closet narcissism, is a subtype of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). While classic or overt narcissists display grandiosity, arrogance, and a need for admiration, covert narcissists tend to appear shy, humble, and insecure on the surface. However, underneath this facade of modesty lies a similar pattern of self-centeredness, entitlement, and a lack of empathy for others.

What does a covert narcissist want?

Understanding the motivations and behaviors of a covert narcissist is crucial for recognizing their presence in your life. Unlike overt or grandiose narcissists who seek attention and admiration openly, covert narcissists operate in a more secretive and manipulative manner. They may appear charming and humble on the surface, but underneath, they harbor a strong sense of entitlement and lack of empathy for others. So, dealing with a covert narcissist can be challenging because of their subtle behaviors which masked with a veneer of humility or introversion.

Understanding the Differences Between Covert & Overt Narcissists

While both covert and overt narcissists share similar traits of entitlement, lack of empathy, and a constant need for validation, there are key differences in how they present themselves to the world. Overt narcissists are often loud, boastful, and attention-seeking, whereas covert narcissists are more subtle in their manipulation tactics.

Traits of Covert Narcissists

• Covert narcissists are masters of manipulation and are skilled at playing the victim to garner sympathy from others.
• They have a strong sense of entitlement and will go to great lengths to get what they want, often resorting to passive-aggressive tactics.
• Covert narcissists lack empathy and are incapable of forming genuine emotional connections with others, viewing people as objects to be used for their own benefit.

Traits of Overt Narcissists 

• Overt narcissists are more overt in their grandiosity and self-importance,
•  often boasting about their accomplishments and seeking constant admiration from others.
• They have a lack of empathy and will exploit others to further their own agenda, without regard for how their actions impact others.
• Overt narcissists can be charismatic and charming on the surface, but their true nature is revealed through their manipulative and exploitative behaviors.

Here Are 7 Subtle Signs Of A Covert Narcissist:

1- Inflated Sense of Entitlement: 

Despite appearing modest, covert narcissists may still harbor a belief that they deserve special treatment or recognition. They will shame and belittle others to protect their inflated sense of self. They do this through passive comments designed to make themselves seem superiors.

2. Passive-Aggressive Behavior

Covert narcissists may use passive-aggressive tactics to manipulate and control others. They may make snide remarks, give backhanded compliments, or use sarcasm to undermine your confidence. If you find yourself feeling confused or hurt by someone's indirect communication style, they may be exhibiting covert narcissistic tendencies.

3- Lack of Empathy: 

While covert narcissists may appear empathetic on the surface, their empathy is often superficial, serving their own agenda rather than genuinely caring for others' feelings.

4- Victim Mentality:

Covert narcissists often play the victim to garner sympathy and attention. They may exaggerate their struggles or blame others for their problems, while refusing to take responsibility for their actions. If you notice a constant cycle of victimization from someone, they may be using this strategy to manipulate your emotions.

Read Also:    7 Of The Narcissist's Biggest Weaknesses

5- Excessive Need for Validation: 

Covert narcissists often seek constant validation and approval from others but may do so in a more subtle manner than overt narcissists. They may fish for compliments or subtly manipulate situations to garner praise.

6- Boundary Violations: 

Covert narcissists may disregard or violate personal boundaries, intruding into others' personal space or emotions without consent.

7- Emotional Unavailability: 

Covert narcissists often struggle with emotional intimacy and may appear aloof or emotionally distant in relationships.

How To Respond To Covert Narcissists
Set Boundaries

One of the most important things you can do when dealing with a covert narcissist is to set boundaries and stick to them. This means clearly communicating your limits and not allowing the narcissist to manipulate or control you.

1- Practice Self-Care
Dealing with a covert narcissist can be emotionally draining, so it's crucial to prioritize self-care. Make sure to take time for yourself, engage in activities that bring you joy, and surround yourself with supportive friends and family members.

2- Seek Professional Help
If you are struggling to cope with a covert narcissist in your life, consider seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide you with tools and strategies to manage the relationship effectively and protect your mental well-being.

3- Avoid Engaging in Their Manipulative Tactics
Covert narcissists thrive on manipulation and control, so it's essential not to engage in their tactics. Instead, stay calm, assertive, and firm in your boundaries.

4- Focus on Your Own Well-Being
Remember that you cannot change or fix a covert narcissist. Instead, focus on your own well-being and set boundaries that prioritize your mental and emotional health.

Conclusion
Dealing with a covert narcissist can be challenging, but by setting boundaries, practicing self-care, seeking professional help, and refusing to engage in their manipulative tactics, you can protect yourself and maintain your mental well-being. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and don't be afraid to seek support if you need it.