8 Subtle Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

8 Subtle Things Narcissists Do When You Go No Contact

Them Narcissists will do anything to keep you in an abusive relationship as long as you remain a source of feeding their ego. Therefore, setting boundaries and leaving the relationship can be extremely difficult. That's why the best way to end a relationship with a narcissist is to cut off all contact.

However, when a narcissist realizes you're trying to get out of the relationship, they may resort to numerous manipulative and abusive tactics, including guilt-triggering, playing the victim, and trying to lure you back in (known as "hoovering").

They will try to cross your boundaries, accuse you of lying, and fabricate fake crises to make you feel guilty. Or they may promise you a fresh start and threaten self harm if you don't come back to them. It's important to stand firm and be prepared to reinforce your boundaries every time they tries to challenge them. Understand the value and importance of no contact with the narcissist in order to regain yourself and successfully complete the recovery process.

What does it mean to "No contact" with someone?

No contact with someone literally means not having any contact with them after a breakup or divorce. Some experts advise that you should not initiate any contact with the person for at least 20 to 30 days. Of course, in some cases, it may be impossible to maintain no contact completely, such as if there are children involved. In these cases, it is advisable to set clear boundaries and reduce contact to the minimum necessary

What is the "No Contact" Rule? 

The "no contact rule is an effective strategy for breaking free from toxic relationships because it prevents the narcissist from exploiting and controlling you. No Contact involves:

• No face-to-face meeting
• No phone calls 
• No text messages
• No emails 
• No social media interactions
• No tracking that person's news or interacting with their friends and family.

The goal of this step is to create an emotional distance that will protect you and help you recover from the abusive relationship. 

Is No Contact Effective With A Narcissist? 

No contact with a narcissist can be a significant challenge, as narcissists typically have an exaggerated sense of superiority and importance and constantly need to feed their ego. They may seek to regain control over you through threats, lies, or pleas.

They may also try to damage your reputation or isolate you from your social circle to ensure you remain under their influence.. But with the right support and strict boundaries, no contact can work and yield positive results. 

Here Are 8 Toxic Tactics Narcissists Use When You Go No Contact

1) Intense Attempts to Regain Control and Attention.

When the narcissist realizes you're serious about no contact, they may feel a loss of control, which leads them to escalate their attempts to get you back. Their behavior may range from bombarding you with messages and repeated calls to trying to reach out to your friends and family to pressure you.

2) Playing the Victim to Gain Sympathy

A narcissist might play the victim to gain your sympathy and lure you back. They will likely portray themselves as mistreated, suffering, and vulnerable in order to shift the blame onto you and make you feel guilty or responsible.

3) Spreading Rumors and Lies

"A narcissist will spread false stories about you to create confusion and exert control. They may tell outright lies, spread rumors or half-truths about people and situations, or involve others in your relationship dynamics to undermine your reputation and social connections."

4) Manipulative Guilt-Tripping

If you go no contact after a breakup, a narcissist will make themselves seem extremely wounded, exaggerating their emotional suffering or accusing you of doing something wrong. They will probably blame you entirely for the failure of your relationship. For example, they might accuse you of leaving them for someone else to induce feelings of responsibility and guilt.

5) Displaying Anger and Aggression

Your determination to stick to the no contact rule may provoke a narcissist’s anger and aggression. They might become hostile, send you threatening messages, call you on the phone, attack you verbally, spread rumors about you, or publicly criticize and belittle you to punish you for leaving them.

6) Using Others as Intermediaries (Manipulating Friends and Family)

A narcissist may resort to using those close to you as intermediaries to deliver indirect messages or to exert emotional pressure on you through them. They may pretend to be a victim to get them to communicate with you on their behalf and to undermine your position when they sympathize with them against you.

Read Also: 7 Ways To Respond To Narcissists Hoovering

7) Sudden Ignoring (Silent Manipulation)

The narcissist pretends not to care about breaking off contact and starts posting new photos on social media to appear happy and successful, attempting to provoke you and make you feel remorseful or confused.

8) Exploitation of Children (in the Event of Divorce)

If you have children, the narcissist may use them as a means of pressuring you by manipulating their emotions or conveying hurtful messages through them.

Moving Forward After No Contact with a Narcissist

Recovering from a relationship with a narcissist can take time, as it involves rebuilding self-confidence and reinforcing personal boundaries. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help to support you on this journey and provide the guidance you need to move through this phase safely.

Remember: Staying committed to your decision despite all the temptations and threats during the disconnection phase, and protecting your mental health, should be your top priorities.