5 Signs of Toxic Attachment in Relationships

5 Signs of Toxic Attachment in Relationships

What is emotional attachment?

An emotional attachment is the emotional bond that we form with another person at any time in our life. If we feel an emotional attachment to someone, we want to be with them. We strive to maintain emotional connection, so we miss it when it's on the outside, and we mourn it if we lose it. We also depend on them to help us meet our psychological and emotional needs, and we may have a strong desire to help him meet his needs.

Not all kinds of attachment are healthy. Excessive attachment is unhealthy, and damaging.

When Does Emotional Attachment Become Toxic?

There is a thin line between healthy emotional attachment and unhealthy emotional attachment. We all have needs to emotionally connect and bond with others. However, it is when these needs direct us to abandon our self-worth, peace, and freedom of choice that this connection can become unhealthy.

• Toxic emotional attachment occurs when you solely rely on a relationship to define your worth, value, and lovability. 

• If you find yourself more depressed and self-critical after ending a relationship, then you may have attributed your self-esteem to being connected with that person. This of course is detrimental because you are giving your personal power away.

• If you stay in a relationship that severely triggers depression, anxiety, past trauma, and overall stress then this is a sign of Toxic emotional attachment.

Studies show that an unhealthy association can lead to susceptibility to disorders such as:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Borderline personality disorder
• Compounding of PTSD

As with anything in life, balance is needed. An overly emotional attachment or lack of a healthy emotional attachment is detrimental to your mental health. The key is to find stability in learning your emotional needs and finding healthy ways to fulfill those needs.

The following signs can suggest a potentially toxic level of attachment.

1. You’ve lost your sense of self

When you believe you need someone and can’t live without them, you might find yourself doing whatever it takes to secure their affection and support long-term.
Little by little, you might begin modifying your habits, interests, and behaviors until they align more with those of your partner.

2. Fear of abandonment

Do you often become paralyzed out of fear of being abandoned by your partner? Do you often feel that your partner will find a better option and leave you? 
This fear will make you do strange things that you had never imagined before. You turn into a person who satisfies people, and you only engage in behavior that your partner will appreciate (to offset your fear).

You will find yourself unnecessarily apologizing to your partner, shifting the blame to yourself, becoming hypersensitive to criticism, unable to fully commit for fear of being hurt, compromising your needs, expanding your personal boundaries, and making a lot of sacrifices just to motivate you. A partner to keep in touch with you. These behaviors often come as needy for your partner.

Related:  8 Steps To Fix A Toxic Relationship

3 . You Can’t be Happy Alone

It might be a cliché that we can’t make anyone happy until we’re happy with ourselves, but it’s also true. We need to feel satisfied with ourselves before bringing another person into the mix.
If we can’t be happy alone, this means we may easily develop an unhealthy emotional attachment to fulfill specific needs. This isn’t fair to ourselves or others.

Bringing another person into your life to fill a void means you will almost always be unfulfilled because another person can only do so much to fill another’s emptiness. It’s a huge burden to impose on someone

4 . You are emotionally dependent.

All couples do and should depend on one another to a certain extent

A healthy amount of interdependence is when both partners know they can turn to one another when they need support, but don’t rely solely on each other. They maintain a wide network of people to help them when they’re in need. They enjoy doing things together, but they don’t need to be glued to each other every second of the day

Emotional dependence is different to interdependence in that one partner either relies on the other entirely and is willing to give nothing back or offers their partner their full support, to the extent that they sacrifice themselves, and expect nothing in return.

Someone who is emotionally dependent can’t be separated from their partner and is incapable of enjoying themselves when they’re apart.

5- You are Rely on their approval

If you struggle with self-validation and self-confidence, your value may be determined by how other people see you. In the case of an unhealthy engagement, your sense of self-worth may completely depend on your partner's respect. When you disagree or face another conflict, it can completely disrupt your perception of yourself.

You might think that they hate you and are no longer supporting your needs. As a result, you may feel hurt, empty, anxious, or depressed, and your self-confidence may diminish. These feelings can last until they do something to prove that they still care about you, whether that's giving a gift, offering physical affection, or praising you.

How to Fix Toxic Emotional Attachment

• Work to devote some time to discovering yourself, so that you can learn about your strengths and weaknesses, and reconnect with your personal identity.

• Make an effort to make time for yourself to do the things you enjoy Your happiness is not related to the presence of a specific person.

• Work on expanding your circle of relationships. And create a balance by building and strengthening positive relationships with friends and family, so that feeling safe does not become dependent on the presence of a romantic partner.

• Setting a strong personal boundaries that enable you to define what you can accept and what does not work for you

Read This Next: 7 Signs You're in a Toxic Relationship