8 Steps To Fix A Toxic Relationship

8 Steps To Fix A Toxic Relationship

If there is constant conflict, abuse, and pain between you and your partner, the first thing you need to do is determine whether your relationship is going through a difficult phase or is, in essence, a toxic relationship. 

A toxic relationship can cost you a lot of your energy, time, and emotions. This can lead to you losing yourself in the relationship, so it is important to address the problem as soon as possible. 

There is usually a lack of sympathy and understanding between partners. Major trust issues and the inability to create or maintain a secure link can be part of these relationships.

Can the toxic relationship be healed?

If healing is possible, it directly depends on your own circumstances and on the amount of "damage" the two people (including other people involved such as close family members, children, etc.) have suffered during the period of this toxic relationship. 

If your relationship has caused more misery than bliss in your life, you may need to consider whether this is the right choice for you, especially if there is any type of abuse. Usually people assume toxic relationships are a lost cause and it is better to do without it. But this is not always true, because not every case is the same.

The main factor that helps determine whether a toxic relationship is worth saving is if both partners are ready to change their way. If only one partner invests in creating healthy patterns, there is a very small chance that the relationship will repair.

Admittedly, most toxic relationships are often the result of long-standing issues that have yet to be talked about or resolved. If a couple is willing to work on fixing a toxic relationship, they need to understand that this process will take time, patience, and due diligence to work out successfully. 

The toxic dynamics of most relationships can be corrected with motivated efforts, time, and self-awareness. 

Here are some things you can do to fix your toxic relationship:

1. Understand if the relationship can really be fixed. 

Yes, toxic relationships can change. But a toxic relationship can change conditionally and only if both partners are committed to overcoming the outstanding issues between them, through a lot of open communication, honesty, self-reflection and perhaps professional help, individually and collectively. 

It will require both of you to examine your actions and do inner work. If you or your partner aren't really willing to put in the effort, the relationship won't change and it should end. Additionally, if you do not see any improvements after following these steps, the toxicity may be too much to overcome, and it may be better for you to move on.

2. Be willing to walk away.

“Before you try to take any steps toward a toxic relationship, make sure your self-esteem and confidence are good enough to know that you will be fine if he ends your relationship with you, or if the two of you end up ending it together. 

"If you want to improve your relationship with a toxic partner, you must be willing to leave that relationship if nothing changes. If you are unwilling to do so, your partner will eventually know that no matter what he does, you really are not ready to go."

3. Accept your responsibility for your actions.

Identifying the situations and behaviors that have damaged the relationship is essential for both parties. Self-acceptance clearly reflects sharing on both sides and helps help the relationship rise from the ashes.

It is imperative that you be present and involved at any time during difficult conversations. Partners need to acknowledge their role in making their relationship toxic. Basically, you have to accept and take responsibility for your actions.

4. Stop trying to be a savior.

Stop taking responsibility for your partner's feelings. This does not mean that you will abandon or avoid him. What I mean is that you shouldn't be blamed for your partner's feelings and reactions even when it's not your fault. We all tend to have expectations from a relationship. 

There will be many instances where our partners will not meet our expectations for any reason. As long as you are committed and loyal, it is not your responsibility to meet all the expectations that your partner may place on you. So if he feels hurt or disappointed that his expectations have not been fulfilled, repeat to yourself that this is not your fault. 

Feeling guilty or blame won't make things better in the long run. Sooner or later, these feelings will emerge and make things worse. Stop being a savior. It is not your job alone to protect the relationship.

5. " Me " Time Strategy.

A commitment to self-care activities is a very important issue when you are in a toxic relationship. The private space gives you time to think about things and clear your mind as you think about the things you want; And the things that make you happy. And practice the activities and hobbies that you like.

Self-care activities are any intended action taken to meet an individual's physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional needs. In short, it's all the little ways we take care of ourselves to avoid a breakdown in those health areas.

Don't let your toxic relationship eat you up or erase your identity. Once you have already set aside time for yourself and organized your thoughts, you are now ready to face the problem again and do what it takes about the toxic relationship.

6. Seek help from a professional.

Once you have identified the root of the problems, you need to work to fix them. However, you have to admit that you cannot always solve these problems on your own. 

Sometimes you will only need the help and help of a true professional such as a therapist. Of course, your first option may be to turn to friends or loved ones who may have some experience with you. However, most of the time, that may not be sufficient. It's okay to seek help from a licensed professional to guide you through your problems.

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7. Be prepared to make the necessary changes and stick to them.

Of course, you also need to be willing to make the necessary changes to your relationship if you want things to get better. There can only be room for improvement if you both demonstrate a willingness to rid yourself of old ways and embrace new beginnings. 

Keep in mind that the change will be uncomfortable for many people. So, you just need to make sure you remind yourself of what you are doing this for and why you are making these changes, to begin with. After that, you only need to adhere to these changes.

Remind yourself that the relationship will not improve overnight. Sometimes ,It can take weeks, months, or even years for the relationship to improve. This should not discourage you. Ultimately, you need to stick to this process. Trust that with your commitment, things will improve over time.

8. Stay away if things do not go well. 

Finally, you need to muster up the strength to walk away if things don't go well. Maybe you're doing everything right, and the relationship might not turn out the way you want it to. This is a reality for many couples, and it may be true for you. 

When this is the case, you shouldn't overlook the problem. Take into account your emotional health and the health of your partner. There is no longer room for stubbornness or selfishness here. Sometimes, two people aren't meant to succeed together for being together, no matter how hard they try. 

If so, it is always best to steer clear of. This may not be the easiest option, but it is a necessary one.

Sources:
.mindbodygreen.com
.marriage.com/ways-to-heal-your-toxic-relationship