Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

Why Empaths Are Easily Attracted To Narcissists

Why Empath and narcissistic people are often attracted to each other?

This is because empaths have a lot of compassion and generosity to offer to those around them, while narcissists thrive on controlling the attention and feelings of others. But this is not a good match, as an empathetic person tends to forgive everything the narcissist does.

Opposites attract - or so we are told. While this rule has the potential to broaden your horizons, people who will belong to two different poles may come together for the wrong reasons. Narcissists, for example, are attracted to people who will get the most benefit from them. Often times, this means that they are stalking and targeting the empath person.

Empaths are the opposite of narcissists. While people with narcissistic personality disorder have no empathy, and thrive on the need for admiration, empaths are highly sensitive and conform to the feelings of others.

What is empathy?

Empaths are very sensitive individuals who are able to sense the emotional needs of others, and they often place the needs of others before their own. Their acute sensitivity allows them to truly feel and even absorb the pain of others. They are driven by the need to help and heal others.

An empath over-awareness of his partner's feelings often leads to a feeling of responsibility for his partner's feelings, allowing his narcissistic partner not to have to experience painful feelings on his own.

An empath person is an "emotional sponge" that can absorb feelings from others very easily. This is what makes him a very attractive victim for narcissists, because they see in him someone who fulfills all their needs in a selfless manner. 

Empaths are attracted to narcissists because, in the beginning, it is about a false self. Narcissists present a fake breath, as they can appear charming and intelligent, and even give, so that the prey does not fall into a trap, then they become cold, block their interest, and then be punished. ”

Empath person hopes the narcissist will truly see and love. In fact, his sense of value is related to being loved by his narcissistic partner. An unconscious thought process takes place, in which empathy believes that if it can overcome the challenge of getting narcissists to love, then its value will be validated. In other words, if he can make the incapable of love love him, then he is truly deserving of love. 

Tempting empaths attempt to heal the wounded narcissist, in the hope that once he heals him, they in turn will provide the compassion for the love and validation that empaths desperately desire.

The Roots

Behind their unconscious desire to seek love from an unsympathetic narcissist lay child-related causes in which they felt unloved or rejected by their primary caregiver. A empath person was unable to receive the unconditional love that every child needs. This can happen as a result of one or both parents being narcissists, or fulfilling their emotional needs (for example, they need to be noticed, their strengths must be recognized, they must be accepted and love offered to them).

Now in adulthood, the empath person tries to pursue validation and a sense of value that he did not radiate as a child. But the stakes are now greater. Receiving love from anyone will not remedy their low self-worth.

But empaths are deeply rooted in their minds, that their self-worth can only be restored by transforming the unlovable narcissist into a loving and acceptable "person". Moreover, empathy, due to early abuse / or emotional insufficiency of the parents, learns to associate love with pain. Therefore, they become tolerant of being abused by their narcissistic partner. The empath person pours all their energy into the relationship with the narcissist, and they often tolerate high levels of abuse, hoping that they can receive the love they want and need so badly.

Unknown to empaths, however, it will not succeed in trying to transform a narcissist into an emotional and loving partner. The narcissist needs to decide to change. As long as the empath person accepts the feelings of the narcissist that have been disavowed and projected on him, the narcissist will not need to feel his own feelings. Rather than change, the narcissist will likely find other coats to use as a substitute or resource for the narcissistic supply for their survival.

How an empath can protect against narcissists

1) Setting boundaries

Setting boundaries can be tough to do, but essential if you want people to respect you.
Boundaries include things like being able to say ‘no’ when you don’t want to do something or walking away from a toxic environment.

2) Self-care

Loving and respecting yourself is important to everyone, but more than that for sympathizers who may forget to put their self-care in the first place.

Building this important relationship with themselves can help maintain self-care even if they find themselves in the company of a narcissist.

Self-care includes:

• Take time to be alone
• Take care of themselves mentally and physically
• Living a healthy and balanced lifestyle
• Know when to turn away from the offending behavior
• As for empathy, this can be difficult especially if they are used to always putting others first, but with constant practice, they can strike a healthy balance.

3) Realize that the narcissist will not change

Unfortunately, it is difficult to "change" a narcissist.

• First, they need to be willing to change themselves, but due to the nature of their condition, they are likely to be unaware of how their behavior affects others.
• Second, narcissists find it very difficult to put themselves in the shoes of others.

Finally, if the narcissist is unwilling or unable to change, the last step is to walk away from the relationship with him.

Once sympathy understands this, it will be evident that helping, loving, and caring for him is pointless because the narcissist will not be able to change with just that. Only through treatment can real progress be made.

4) Find a Therapist

• Although being an empath isn’t something that needs ‘curing’, they can still benefit from talking through their feelings with a professional.
• Also, therapists can help an empath see patterns in their behavior, which may contribute to why they keep attracting the same types of partners.
• Finally, therapy can be beneficial for empaths to learn more about themselves, so that they can deal with narcissists better when they come across them.