7 signs you are being projected on & How to respond

7 signs you are being projected on & How to respond 

Projecting is like dumping clutter into someone else’s living room and then hating them for being messy.or when toxic people claim all the nastiness that surrounds them is not their fault, but yours

Definition of Projection

"Projection is a defense mechanism that a toxic person uses to deflect responsibility for negative behavior and traits by attributing them to another person."
In another word, when a person is chronically unwilling to see his or her own shortcomings and uses everything in their power to avoid being held accountable for them. This is known as projection

Projection not only involves attributing the feelings and thoughts we don’t like in ourselves to those around us. It rears its head in many other ways, especially at times of conflict. We create negative “stories” about others to make ourselves feel better 

And when people project their issues onto us, they act as if their projection is our true identity. If you’re highly sensitive or vulnerable, you might believe their projection is true. After all, they think it and say it, so it must be so. For example, if a parent feels like a failure and they tell their child, “you’ll never amount to anything,” the child thinks, “I must be a failure,” and that thought forms his subsequent choices. 

This toxic person claims that all the mistrust that surrounds him is not his fault, but yours. We all do it a little bit, but narcissists and psychopaths do it a lot.

Rather than acknowledge their own flaws, imperfections and wrongdoings, malignant narcissists and sociopaths opt to dump their own traits on their unsuspecting suspects in a way that is painful and excessively cruel.

Instead of admitting that self-improvement may be in order, they would prefer that their victims take responsibility for their behavior and feel ashamed of themselves. 

Narcissists like to play the "blame game". The goal of the game is clear: they win, you lose, and you or the whole world are blamed for everything that is wrong with them. This way, you can nurture their fragile ego while you are being pushed into the guilt trip through of self-doubt.

Signs that you are being projected on

1) Projectors have a tendency to ignore any issues and they attribute it to others,

2)They tend to free themselves of any kind of frustrations/ internal load by dumping on others.

3)They like to be in control. For them, everything is wrong with you, with the world but not with them.

4)They always deny their faults. Since they believe in the narrative that other people are the problem, they are adept at manipulating the truth.

5) He has selective hearing.

When you talk to him, he hears what he wants to hear

6) Playing the victim
A common narcissistic strategy is to play the victim. You hurt me! Poor, poor me.

7)  Grandiosity, mimicking, and exaggeration
Narcissists often feel a need to compete with others since they are factually not that special and terribly insecure on top of it. They will pretend, lie, hurt or exploit others, or do whatever else they deem necessary for personal gain.

How to respond to Toxic People's Projection

1- Understanding that projections aren't the truth.

• Don’t “project” your own sense of compassion or empathy onto a toxic person
• Don’t own any of the toxic person’s projections either.

When you learn to deeply communicate with yourself and others, you’ll avoid a lot of problems caused by projection. The next time you assume someone feels or thinks something, stop yourself and assess your projections by asking these questions:

• Did they really say or do what I’m assuming or am I exaggerating or jumping to conclusions?
• Why did I decide that’s how they feel? Am I reading more into their silence or body language than there is?
• How are my own emotions clouding the situation ?
• Have my own emotions intensified a situation unnecessarily?
• What can I do to step back and see the other person wholly and clearly?

2- Setting boundaries

• Setting boundaries is critical to increasing self- esteem and reducing stress, anxiety and depression.
• Boundaries protect your personal self by setting a clear line between what is me and what is not me.
• A lack of boundaries opens the door for others to determine your thoughts, feelings, and needs. boundaries is helping you to determine what behavior you will accept from others and what you will not.

When someone projects onto you, simply set a boundary. This gives the projection back to the speaker. You’re establishing a force field–an invisible wall. Say something like:

• I don’t see it that way.
• I disagree.
• I don’t take responsibility for that.
• That’s your opinion.

3- Contact a therapist

• Therapist can be one of the best tools for overcoming projection. They can help you identify and address reasons why you’re projecting and give you tools to help you stop.
• If projecting has damaged a close relationship, a therapist can also help you rebuild that relationship or prevent it from happening in a future one.

Final Word:

It’s important to cut ties and end interactions with toxic people as soon as possible so you can get centered in your own reality and validate your own identity. You don’t have to live in someone else’s cesspool of dysfunction

Related Article to read:

Triangulation - Narcissist 's Abuse Tactic

Sources:

thoughtcatalog.com

psychologytoday.com

healthline.com

roadtogrowthcounseling.com