7 Ways To Improve Your Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence ” is important for understanding our own and others' emotions so that we can improve interpersonal relationships

What is emotional intelligence or EQ?

Emotional intelligence (also known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the ability to understand, use and manage your emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.
Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger relationships,
succeed in school and at work, and achieve your professional and personal goals. It can also help you connect with your feelings, turn intention into action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.

So , Emotional intelligence is the ability to effectively navigate and manage one's emotions. However, it also includes social intelligence: the ability to navigate effectively in social interactions with an intense awareness of the emotional component at play.

By understanding your emotions and how to control them, you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger relationships, both at work and in your personal life.

Below are 7 ways to increase your EQ:

1. Learn To Quiet Your Mind

When we are under stress, we lose the ability to accurately “read” a situation, hear what someone else is saying, think rationally, and communicate clearly.
One skill that can improve our emotional intelligence is to find a way to manage stress and quiet the mind during times of great emotional turmoil.

Mindfulness meditation is a great tool for this, and using something like the Headspace app is a simple way to get started.

Also know your stressor and Take stock of what stresses you out, and be proactive to have less of it in your life. If you know that checking your work email before bed will send you into a tailspin, leave it for the morning. Better yet, leave it for when you arrive to the office.

2. Respond instead of reacting to conflict.

During instances of conflict, emotional outbursts and feelings of anger are common. The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations. They don't make impulsive decisions that can lead to even bigger problems. They understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution, and they make a conscious choice to focus on ensuring that their actions and words are in alignment with that.

3. Manage your negative emotions.

When you’re able to manage and reduce your negative emotions, you’re less likely to get overwhelmed. Easier said than done, right? Try this: If someone is upsetting you, don’t jump to conclusions. Instead, allow yourself to look at the situation in a variety of ways. Try to look at things objectively so you don’t get riled up as easily. Practice mindfulness at work, and notice how your perspective changes.

4. Utilize active listening skills.

In conversations, emotionally intelligent people listen for clarity instead of just waiting for their turn to speak. They make sure they understand what is being said before responding. They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to.

5. Be mindful of your vocabulary.

Focus on becoming a stronger communicator . Emotionally intelligent people tend to use more specific words that can help communicate deficiencies, and then they immediately work to address them. Had a bad meeting with your boss? What made it so bad, and what can you do to fix it next time? When you can pinpoint what’s going on, you have a higher likelihood of addressing the problem, instead of just stewing on it.

6. Breathe Anger Out

Anger is a powerful emotion, but it has equally powerful ‘side-effects’. After it dies down we are left feeling exhausted, drained and often foolish.

A great way to keep anger at bay is to put some distance between you and the object of your irritation.
Take a few deep breaths, imagining your breath shooting the anger and tension away and cool air calming your mind and slowing your heart rate down.

Do not tackle the problem that pushed you off your balance until you will feel completely calm and composed.

7. Understand Your Buttons.

Pay attention to the times when you let other people push your buttons.

What are your triggers?
What are the specific conditions that make you likely to let your guard down?

Try to avoid putting yourself in these situations where you aren’t able to choose a graceful response.

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Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer