6 Ways to Disarm The Silent Treatment

6 Ways to Disarm The Silent Treatment 

The silent treatment is a refusal to communicate verbally with another person. People who use the silent treatment may even refuse to acknowledge the presence of the other person.

People use the silent treatment in many types of relationship, including romantic relationships. It can sometimes be a form of emotional abuse. This is the case when one person uses it to control and manipulate the other. - According to medicalnewstoday.com

People use the silent treatment for a number of reasons. These include: 

•  Avoidance: In some cases, people remain silent in the conversation because they do not know what to say or want to avoid a conflict. 
• Communication: A person may use the silent treatment if they do not know how to express their feelings but want their partner to know that they are upset. 
• Punishment: If a person uses silence to punish or to exercise control or control over someone, this is a form of emotional abuse. How it affects the relationship

A person may be using silence in an abusive way if:

• they intend to hurt another person with their silence
• the silence lasts for extended periods of time
• the silence only ends when they decide it does
• they talk to other people but not to their partner
• they seek alliances from others
• they use silence to blame their partner and make them feel guilty
• they use silence to manipulate or “improve” their partner, or to pressure them to change their behavior

Here are 6 Effective Ways To Respond To The Silent Treatment In Any Relationship

1- Stay Calm

It is important to remain calm. The silent treatment is an emotional defense, and even though it can be infuriating to not be able to defend yourself in return, getting upset will only fuel the fire and make your loved one feel more threatened. Try to slow your breathing and relax your body.

Let yourself be an observer of the situation rather than a participant. Staying calm will help you see the situation clearly and respond to your partner or loved one in an effective and supportive manner. You also don't want to fuel the juvenile tantrum of the silent treatment by showing that you are upset. The manipulator is trying to punish you, and seeing you upset will validate the effectiveness of their tool. If you stay calm, it will demonstrate not only the proper way to behave in a dispute but also that their abuse is not going to work on you.

2- Use ‘I’ statements

A person can let the other person know how they feel by using “I” statements. For example, the person on the receiving end may say: “I’m feeling hurt and frustrated that you aren’t speaking to me. I would like to find a way to resolve this.”

This type of statement focuses on the feelings and beliefs of the speaker rather than any characteristics they attribute to the other person.

3. Ignoring

The silent treatment can be a passive-aggressive approach to keeping you under control. In these cases, what they want is for you to feel bad enough to take the first step. They are waiting for their time, waiting for you to complain and surrender to demands.

Instead, go about your business as if it isn't bothering you. This is easier said than done, but try to get distracted by heading outside or indulging in a good book. It deprived them of the reaction they sought. Show that the silent treatment is not a way to get what they want from you.

4- Avoid aggressive response

The silent treatment is a passive-aggressive manipulation technique, but passive-aggression is still aggressive. If you try to face the silent treatment face-to-face with aggression, you risk things becoming physically aggressive, which could lead to an end to the relationship. The best thing you can do is stay calm and take a step back. Even though it is directed at you, try to remind yourself that it is not personal.

Acting aggressively will only aggravate the situation and justify their reasons for punishing you with the silent treatment. They will see that you have become hostile and feel that they made the right decision to push you away and isolate you. By keeping your cool, you can maintain clarity over the situation and hopefully be able to finally work out a negotiation with your difficult loved one

Related:  No Contact vs. the narcissist’s silent treatment : The differences

5. Offer solutions

Suggest a face-to-face meeting to hammer out some rules for better communication in the future. Make a plan for how you’ll talk to each other when things get heated and how you’ll avoid the silent treatment moving forward.

Take turns listening and repeating what the other person says so you’re clear on what you expect of each other. If you’re in a romantic relationship, offer to go to couples counseling to learn some new tools.

6- Setting boundaries

Set firm & clear boundaries about what acceptable behavior is and how you expect to be treated.

boundaries allows you to make yourself a priority, whether that’s in self-care, career aspirations, or within relationship

It is never easy to say "no" to someone you love, but it is impossible to love someone healthily if you do not allow yourself respect