13 things you should never do in a relationship with toxic people. 

Do you have a friend, family member, or romantic partner who is really difficult to get along with? Do you feel degraded or manipulated around them? If so, it's possible that you have toxic people in your life.and you can't escape from them.

Draining, unsupportive, and difficult people are one of life’s greatest challenges, so all you have to do is learn how to deal with them

There are 13 things you should never do when you are around toxic people.

1. You try to please them all the time. 

Do you know someone who is impossible to please? Always finding something to complain about, even if you did what they asked you to? Here's what toxic people say: It's impossible to please them. You will be damned if you do, and damned if you don't. So stop trying! Stop jumping into a vicious circle of trying to please them with no result. This is not a way to live your life.

2. Defending yourself is useless. 

Perhaps there was a misunderstanding, and you just need to clarify it. Or maybe if you explain why it's not your fault, it will fix everything. This may be true for ordinary people. But if you are dealing with a toxic person who is always looking for your flaws to highlight your mistakes, then standing up for yourself is futile. They have already made up their mind about you. 

So stop justifying yourself to toxic people. Because this puts you in a weak defensive position. A more powerful approach would be to completely ignore their criticisms and accusations. Remind yourself that their behavior has nothing to do with you. Reframe your boundaries and try not to take their hatred personally. Take deep breaths to calm yourself down or enjoy their words attentively so that you can not get carried away by them.

3. Falling into the trap of provocations.

You have to understand that the main motivation behind the words and actions of toxic people is a feeling of power, importance and control. Even if this person seems self-confident, on the inside he suffers from feelings of inferiority and lack of self-confidence. Hence the provocations. Toxic people who press "hot buttons" achieve two goals. 

• First, it makes them feel powerful (they make you react as they please). 

• Second, they are allowed to turn the tables on you and claim that you are the problem. So if you respond angrily, the toxic person can say that you are being rude, unreasonable, and aggressive. And now you have been pushed into a corner where you have to defend yourself again. See how things are going here?

4. Saying "yes" when you want to say "no". 

You may run into situations and scenarios where you don't really want to say "yes," but do it anyway. You ignore your boundaries because you want to avoid conflict or make someone happy. It's okay to put someone's needs above your own from time to time. It shows that you can be selfless, and sacrifice your comfort for others. But with toxic people, the demands and benefits never stop. They always expect you to put their needs above yours and never do the same for you.

So stop being the "always agreeable person", and start evaluating your time and resources on what you can and can't accept and what doesn't work for you. And if you decide to say "no," don't hold back. This can be difficult, especially when they are using a dramatic outburst to try to get their way. But the more you practice saying "no" to things you don't feel comfortable with, the easier it becomes

5. Falling into the trap of arguing or trying to prove something. 

Just like standing up for yourself, trying to change a toxic person's mind is a complete waste of time. There is nothing you can say or do to prove them wrong. They don't even listen. They are just waiting for the appropriate response for them. Toxic people will stubbornly cling to their beliefs, even in the face of hard facts and convincing arguments. Quite simply, anything that does not align with their worldview is "fake news".

6. Take responsibility for how they feel.

Toxic people never take responsibility for anything, especially their feelings. Instead, they blame others for how they feel. This applies not only to toxic people. We also act this way when we say: You bothered me. You made me angry. You made me do this. But in truth, the way we interact is our choice, so by looking at things consciously we can see each situation from multiple points of view. So there is only one way to feel it.

Although we are all guilty of this to some degree, toxic people take it to the extreme. What they always feel is someone else's fault. Then it becomes a game of emotional blackmail: if I do this, it will make me sad/discontented/injured, etc. Everyone is responsible for their feelings. If you don't intentionally do something harmful, you shouldn't measure your actions according to how anyone would feel.

7. Sharing of personal information.

This is a no-brainer: the less a toxic person knows about you, the better. First, toxic people are terribly talkative. And anything they know about you, rest assured, they will share it with others. Second, they will use what they know about you against you. The information is ammunition for them. So be aware of what you say about a toxic person. Stay away from discussing your family's privacy, medical history, finances, and anything else you consider personal when you meet a toxic person.

8. The mind games trap. 

Mind games for toxic people are their way of getting what they want. And because what they want is usually obnoxious, they can't be downright about it. So they have to resort to games and manipulation to satisfy their needs. There are many games: 

Blame game 

• Guilt trip game 
• Silent treatment game 
• Gaslighting game 

So be a conscious person and get to know the games so you don't end up playing them in anger! When you know what they are, you will be more careful of them, and you will not be easily manipulated.

9. You let them steal your joy. 

Toxic people have an effect on sucking the life out of the people around them. Tell them good news - they will find a way to turn it into bad news. Share an achievement with them - they will reject it or belittle it. Come visit them in a good mood - you will leave them in a bad mood. 

The thing about toxic people is that they want everyone to feel as miserable as they do. So when they put you down, it's totally intentional. Don't let them succeed. When you see that black cloud coming in your direction, run away from it! Unless you feel strong and assertive to protect your joy.

10. Participate with them in gossip about others.

Toxic people will often try to engage you in gossip, as if to prove that you are no better than them. They take great comfort from the fact that they were able to engage you in their bullshit talk. Of course, they will try to lure you to talk about people with whom you are not well or do not like you. So walk away, even if you have something to say remember: they talk the same way about you behind your back and whoever moved to you moved about you

11. Doubting your self-worth.

The worst thing you can do when you are around a toxic person is question your self-worth. However, it is easy to do. Without ever saying much, toxic people can do a lot of damage to your self-esteem, if you let them. One carefully chosen word, or even just a tone of voice or sarcasm intended as a joke - and suddenly you feel inadequate or unsure of yourself. This is clearly passive aggressiveness, when a toxic person indirectly destroys your self-confidence and distorts your perception of reality. That is, you question your perception of reality around you, and you tell yourself that you might look the way they see you.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to remember these two things: You are not wrong, and you are not defective. They mean to stab you. They do it to bring down on you their flaws and their shaky self-image, deep down they really hate themselves.

12. Slipping into their negativity.

Dealing with someone's toxic behavior can be stressful. The person may constantly complain about others, always have a new drama about unfair treatment, or even accuse you of being unfair or of not caring for their needs. Resist the urge to jump on the complaint train with them or defend yourself against accusations. Instead, reply with a simple, "I'm sorry you feel this way," and leave it at that.

13. Regression to their level. 

Sometimes it seems that the only way to deal with toxic people is to treat them the way they treat you. But before you get down to that level, look at you, you are not yourself anymore. You have become this angry, always indignant, miserable person, and you don't know how to stop. The worst thing you can do when you are around toxic people is to lose yourself and your self-esteem. As difficult as it is, resist the urge to respond in an "eye for an eye" manner. 

Meet their toxic behavior with understanding, awareness, assertiveness, healthy boundaries and the necessary intelligence, and if you do, toxic people will be powerless against you.