8 Common Hoovering Traps Narcissists Use To Ensnare You

Break up with narcissist after an arduous journey of trying to get away from this toxic life. It requires you to begin a new phase of healing as your wounds gradually begin to heal and move forward towards recovery from the abuse you experienced. Until you are finally able to live a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.

But then you are surprised, that you get a text message. or email. Or you notice that he likes your Facebook posts. It's the narcissist, trying to hoover you again, and you find all those old feelings running back. Depending on the message they're sending you, it may affect your self-confidence when it rekindles feelings of guilt, anger, or any number of overwhelming feelings.

Breaking up with a narcissist is a blow to the ego. They don't like it. But their hatred of the situation goes beyond the hurt almost everyone feels when they go through a breakup.How dare you break up with them? How dare you win! It's the twisted "Game of Thrones" that narcissists have in mind. 

Narcissists will play whatever tricks they have up their sleeves to try to suck you in again and put you back in their control. A relationship with a narcissist can have a negative impact on your emotional health. You doubt yourself, your worth, and your decision-making skills. Narcissists like to make their victims feel that they need the narcissist to survive.

In this article, we will cover some of the most common deception scenarios to expect from a narcissist so that you can resist them. To prevent indulging in these tricks, it is important to understand the narcissist themselves. They don't have any rules. They will do anything they can to get you back, to suck you up just like a powerful vacuum sucks up the dirt in your carpet. 

Once you fall for one of their tricks, they feel fulfilled. It's not about you - it's all about them. This is why narcissists come back - to be in a relationship with someone - because of what they can get out of... It is also why abuse comes back again, often worse than before.

They simply want to know if they still have an influence on you... and if they succeed, that's all they want, and they'll go back to abusing you very quickly or ignoring you for weeks. You don't need to fall for their tricks. 

Here're 8 Common Hoovering Traps Narcissists Use To Ensnare You

1. Pretending that the breakup never happened.

There's one from the loop you get from the loop you get to the daffodil. I broke up - you sure did. They haven't been updated in a while. You got a bouquet of roses attached, but when you suddenly find yourself, you get the right to a bouquet of roses. What a sweet emotion. You used to spend it together. And your choice.

2. Declaring their undying love. 

The narcissist knows that you both had some good times in the past which he used to confuse your mind and keep you under his control. They will depend on what you remember of those times and will try to feed on them. They might send you an email full of nostalgia and emotion, reminding you of that time you two went on a romantic vacation. Or They'll tell you that they saw a romantic movie about you, or may be he found an old picture of the two of you.

3. 'Accidental' Contact.

This can happen in one of two ways. First, there's the "Oops, I meant to send this text to someone else" response. or, "Hey, did you try calling me?" Message. Either way, this is one of the cowardly tricks a narcissist uses to engage you in a conversation. If you reply to their text or message on social media, you start rolling the ball towards him. They will respond with something like, "Wow - it's been a long time. How have you been?" Then you will feel rude if you don't respond. Or they will make you feel insulted, insisting that they are not trying to reach you and do not want anything from you. Thus, you will be stuck in a full conversation or email justifying your situation or making certain accusations, which is a prime opportunity for him to try to get you back.

4. Faking vulnerability and the need for “help” 

This is a technique that might pull your heart strings. After all, this is the person you cared deeply about. As much as it has been poisoning your life, seeing another human being go through a crisis breaks your heart. The narcissist will use different crises to suck you in. It might be a problem he's facing on his own. Or it may be a problem with a loved one. He might tell you that you might get a phone call or a text from him about someone he loves having had a serious accident or had an illness that moves your heart. It can motivate you to take action to calm him down or try to help them in some way. Often, though, the crisis has been exaggerated or not even there.

5. Using Other people to get to you.

 This is a common strategy for a cowardly narcissist. They want to provoke you again, but they don't want to bruise their ego through face-to-face rejection. Therefore, they send a mutual friend or family member, with whom you are still in contact, to call you. The narcissist believes that by making another person test the waters for them, you will be more likely to break down.

6. Draw your attention and chase you on social media.

When we see someone who looks at and likes our Facebook posts, and maybe leaves comments, we might think that they feel affection for us. If it's someone we've ended up with, they may seem to feel remorse about things they might have done to hurt you. However, when it comes to narcissists, this is not the case as you might think. Given their egotistical nature, they have good reason to believe that you will monitor their engagement on your Instagram or Facebook posts. This is what is called "dip". In the same way that you watch their interaction with your posts, they simply "dive in" to see if you take the bait.

They don't really have to interact with you, yet they can try to soften you up online to see if you'll fall into the trap of their false interests. And if you've already given up on their Facebook meat around, don't be surprised when they immediately block you without warning.

7. Showering you with gifts.

Giving gifts at any phase of a relationship, whether love bombing or hovering, is not something narcissists do out of an innate desire to be kind or friendly. When a narcissist gives you gifts, they considers them an investment in himself. At the very least, they use gifts as a form of piling to cover the great fissures that have occurred due to the emotional earthquakes they have endured.

Some narcissists give generous gifts to throw you off balance, especially if they are greedy and stingy in the relationship. In their mind, if they give you a gift, they hope it will make you think they really care.

Narcissists hate spending their money on other people. Giving you a gift is a bit painful for them, but they will do it as a last resort to try and squeeze your heart strings and let them in again. However, don't be fooled into thinking that they have changed and finally know your value. Once you cave into their selfish agendas, they will go back to abusing you as before. Just ask every person who has ever given up on a hoover narcissist.

8. Do the things that mean more to you than anything else. 

A narcissist's mastery of the issue of manipulation varies with words from one manipulator to another. But the one thing they all have in common is that they skillfully use words to convey the one sincere message you've been longing to hear all along. If getting involved and having a family is important to you, they will suddenly offer to take you shopping. If you always want them to be kinder to your kids, they will offer to take your kids for a swim and apologize to them for being such a hole. If you dream about the day when they will stop being unfaithful, then they will say that they have gone into therapy for sex addiction.

The Bottom Line

However, all these behaviors are just fake examples in order to get you back, but in reality the narcissist has no plans to commit to such things. Final words: Stand your ground and be strong - your freedom is already gained Now that you've been out of this relationship for a while, you may feel stronger - like your old self, the one you were before you got in with a narcissist. These feelings can be quickly crushed, with the narcissist if you stop resisting the downward spiral and allow those dark, heavy, magical feelings to speed up again.

Feeling those old negative feelings doesn't mean you're weak. It's simply a familiar emotion you've had for years - a reaction to a toxic, energy-sucking person trying to get back into your life. It is completely normal to experience this reaction. 

It is essential to remember, however, how strong you are. you was strong enough to get out of the relationship. You was strong enough to get help to deal with feelings of self-doubt and shattered self-confidence. You now have the ability to stand behind your limits and keep the narcissist away from you as much as possible. Never feel compelled to give him your strength again.