5 Effective Ways To Deal With Narcissistic Smear Campaign

What is a narcissistic smear campaign?

Smear campaigns refer to a carefully crafted plans, systematic spread of a mass of lies or deceptive information designed to humiliate , discredit & tarnish your reputation. 

For narcissists, the purpose of a smear campaign is to bring you down while simultaneously raising their ego. There are many different flavors of libel and it can be level in intensity. In milder forms, they may be passive-aggressive comments about you from behind your back. In extreme circumstances, Smear campaigns can include dangerous rumours, threats, and lawsuits.

Narcissists and other emotional manipulators are unlikely to come out of your life calmly and without problems. Whether they are leaving you on their own or you are trying to set boundaries between you and them, it is possible that the narcissist will try to humiliate you by spreading unimaginable lies or misinformation about you as a result of a potential breakup, thus damaging your reputation.

While it is possible for a narcissist to spread false rumors about you during a relationship, the smear campaign gains speed and aggression during and after a breakup. The narcissist may try to spoil your relationship with your family and friends, spread rumors that may affect your career, and don't hesitate to lie in court if there are legal issues such as divorce and child custody.

Interestingly enough, a narcissist may not really be keen on the things they are fighting for. for example; During a divorce, they may lie to you about everything and compete fiercely with you for child custody, but they may not want to spend more time with the children.

Or the fact that they destroy your relationships with others may not gain them anything. So the purpose of a smear campaign is not always to get something.

Narcissists can run the smear campaign themselves or they can gossip and spread lies about you through their flying monkeys without getting their hands dirty. Although not every narcissist may slander you, there is a possibility that you will run into such a danger especially when you are trying to set boundaries or when you follow the no-contact rule. 

Smear campaigns can be managed in a clear and threatening or covert manner. For example, people running a smear campaign might say that they only want to protect you and that they do not intend to harm you in any way.

Smear campaigns typically include the following elements:

• Some snippets of the truth: I left them out! You broke their hearts! You don't like them! To some extent, these statements may be true. A narcissist often exaggerates a single piece of truth to create a complete account of your faults.

• A complete attack on your personality: Narcissists will talk excessively about every mistake you've ever made. Some of these stories may be true, but most are embellished and faked to fit their view of what is real. Most narcissists do not believe that they are outwardly lying. Instead, their beliefs are so logical to them that they don't recognize them as complete lies.

• Attempt to empathize: Narcissists want others to believe they are victims of the dynamism. They want people to think you're the problem and hurt them instead of the other way around. They get sympathy by spreading lies and rumors about you while portraying themselves as martyrs. 

Why Does Narcissist Run A Smear Campaign?

1- To protect their image and stay in control.

Narcissists engage in this campaign to regain a sense of power. If you end the relationship, you're making them look bad. As a result, they will try to punish you for this decision What other people think about them is very important to the narcissist and they want to be in control even after a breakup. Everyone can have the desire to keep things under their control to a certain degree so that they feel safe and at peace.

However, the narcissist's lust for control goes far beyond that. No matter how confident they may be on the outside, because of their deep, toxic feelings of shame, worthlessness, and malicious motives; They strive to control what others will think of them, especially in situations that may affect their image. 

When you start seeing their true colors and want to stay away from them, the prospect of you spreading the truth about them and spoiling their public image terrifies them. Therefore, they try to undermine your credibility and make sure that no one believes what you might say about them. They try to dispel their fear of rejection by dragging you down.

2- To heal narcissistic wounds.

When you try to leave a narcissist or at least put some distance between you and them, it is possible to activate the narcissist's feelings of worthlessness and rub salt into their narcissistic wounds. And when they get hurt, they want to hurt you in return.

3- To win.

Narcissists play to win in any situation. They must be right about everything and others must embrace their "truth". In addition, due to their inability to empathize with others and the fact that they do not feel responsible for their actions, they can easily tell lies that may seem very unreal to you and manipulate the truth.

How Do You Respond To A Smear Campaigns?

1. Don't Get Involved. 

First, you must realize that you cannot win this campaign. If anything, narcissists are looking to refute you. It gives them ammo - it provides interest, which they can use to continue building their case against you. When you respond, you're still playing their game and sticking to their rules. Therefore, the system remains fraudulent against you. As with most narcissistic dynamics, the best response is no response.

Although this is much easier said than done, doing nothing tends to be the most effective strategy. In other words, don't get involved. Do not resist. Don't try to convince the narcissist that they are wrong or that they are hurting you.

2- Do not try to persuade others.

Sometimes, your loved one may stand on the side of a narcissist. This, of course, can greatly harm. You might feel like sharing your side of the story. You may also want to engage in your own smear campaign against the narcissist. Unfortunately, these methods do not usually work. People often see what they want to see - if narcissists convince them who they really are, they will usually believe it. Plus, you already know that a narcissist can be incredibly charming and persuasive. They know how to captivate audiences by faking feelings and creating a powerful story.

If people inquire about your opinion, it's best to remain impartial, objective, and fair. Remember that these people may run to the narcissist with whatever you tell them - and the narcissist may use this information to further harm you. 

You can try the following statements: 

• "My story is different from theirs, and I'll leave it at that.
• " "I appreciate your concern, but I don't have the freedom to discuss this right now." 
• "Right now, I don't feel the need to defend myself."

3- Do not react emotionally.

It's normal to experience many different emotions such as anger, sadness, disappointment, shame and confusion when someone who has had an important place in your life tries to bring you down in such a horrible way. However, when you reveal these feelings to a narcissist, you are also acknowledging that their behavior and actions still affect you and this means that the smear campaign has achieved its goal. This situation will make the narcissist want to continue the smear campaign. 

Besides, narcissists can base their smear campaigns on how angry you are, how emotional and uncontrollable you are, how sudden and unnecessary your reaction is, or simply how crazy you are. In this case, if you lose control and end up yelling at them, you will only support their theory by making yourself look bad. Don't let the narcissist provoke you.

4- Focus on demonstrable behavior.

If what the narcissist says about you leads to penalties, such as causing you to lose your child, explain yourself as much as possible through behaviors you can demonstrate. Instead of telling them how awful the narcissist is and what their liars are, experiment with behaviors with tangible evidence. 

Emotional and psychological abuse is hard to see, don't expect people to be able to look at things through your eyes. Otherwise, you will be more likely to fall into an unfair situation with being right all the time.

5- Get help:

 A smear campaign can affect your friendships, family life and economic status, but it is your psychology that affects the most. Don't be afraid to seek help from a professional, a friend who can understand you, a loving family member, or even a stranger who has experienced the same things you have.

Reaching out a professional Therapist will  provides a safe and nonjudgmental space for you to discuss your relationship and learn appropriate coping skills for recovering from your pain.