7 Powerful Ways To Put A Narcissist In Their Place

Have you fallen in the crosshairs of the narcissist? With their constant mental games, emotional abuse, and manipulation, it seems incredibly difficult to get the upper hand in any conversation or interaction. A relationship with a narcissist may impair your mental health, cloud your sense of sanity, and prevent you from living a happy and fulfilling life. 

Learning how to put a narcissist in their place can help you break free from their abuse and regain control over your life.  So, if you're interested, here are 7 powerful ways to make them wish they never crossed you. Finally, you can put the narcissist in their place and make them respect you.

What Is a Narcissist?

According to Mayo Clinic, Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health condition in which people have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. They need and seek too much attention and want people to admire them. People with this disorder may lack the ability to understand or care about the feelings of others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence, they are not sure of their self-worth and are easily upset by the slightest criticism

Narcissistic People may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special attention or admiration that they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships troubled and unfulfilling, and other people may not enjoy being around them.

Signs You're Dealing with a Narcissist:

Most people may occasionally display narcissistic behaviors, but not enough to make them a narcissist, according to the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). You may be dealing with a highly narcissistic parent, partner, or friend if they consistently behave in the following manner:

• Inflated self-esteem or a grandiose sense of self-importance or superiority
• Craving admiration
• Exploitative relationships (i.e., manipulation)
• Little to no empathy
• Identity is easily disturbed (i.e., can’t handle criticism)
• Lack of attachment and intimacy
• Feelings of depression or emptiness when not validated
• A sense of entitlement
• Can feel like others are envious of them, or may envy others

An individual must have at least five out of nine of these traits, many of which can start appearing at a young age. In the next section, you will learn more about some of the possible causes of narcissistic personality disorder

7 Powerful Ways To Put A Narcissist In Their Place:

1)Setting Boundaries.

Set boundaries, but there is still something else you must do.

The best thing would be if you wrote down your boundaries so thye can't deceive you into thinking anything else. Narcissists have the power to twist what you've said and to convince you that certain things that truly happened didn't—or they happened differently from what you are stating.

This way, no one can persuade you otherwise because you have recorded your words verbatim on paper.

They will nag you to return when you leave. You must then establish those boundaries because, they will try to cross every single one of them. The stronger you are when it comes to your boundaries, the faster he’ll leave you.

2) Stop apologizing

Don't use the word “sorry” around the narcissists. As they may try to act like the victim, you are the one who is being exploited, used, and abused. Saying ‘sorry’ is not going to make the narcissists any better. If you keep apologizing to de-escalate the situation, it will only encourage them to abuse you further.

Their narcissistic behavior is not your fault, so do not constantly apologize for something you haven’t done.

3) Use their name while talking

Keep calling a narcissist using their first name, as this will help you to dominate the conversation and show that you are the boss here. Repeat their name over and over again throughout the conversation as you look them in the eye.

This can be a rather upsetting experience for the narcissist as it shows that you aren’t afraid of them. Use their name to take back control.

4. Call them out on their “lies”

Narcs dislike accepting responsibility for their destructive behaviors, including their lies, cheating, and dishonesty. Remember, they have a false image to uphold. Calling them out on their lies or what they are hurts at the core. They can't stand knowing you've figured them out and will take it as a narcissistic injury. Expect them to push back and get mad.

Calmly counter their trials to gaslight you and make you seem crazy. Talk to your narcissists while others are around you, ask them to repeat themselves, pretend you don’t understand them and ask for written communication, make audio and video recordings of your interactions, and write things down. 
Narcissists will distort the reality to get things their way, so make sure to maintain transparent and verifiable communication.

5. Set consequences

Narcissists hate consequences as much as they resent boundaries. However, it is the consequences that make boundaries effective. Set consequences for boundary violations and when they don't want to admit their mistakes. Results work best when they are directly related to violating boundaries, specific and actionable. For example, "If you're not ready on time, I won't drive you to school." Prove that you are serious and don't push them anywhere they show disrespect for your time next time.

Read Also:  9 Things Narcissists Don't Do

6. Gray rocking

Gray rocking method is a tactic some people use when dealing with abusive or manipulative behavior. It involves becoming as uninteresting and unengaged as possible so that the abusive person loses interest. Some people anecdotally report that it reduces conflict and abuse. The technique is similar to the silent treatment and can be especially effective for dealing with a parent or adult child you can't necessarily banish forever. Keep communication short and to the point.

Responding with “Yes,” “No,” and “Okay” and with no explanation will make them feel unimportant like a gray rock by the roadside. The idea behind grey rocking is that it will, in theory, cut off a person’s “narcissistic supply” and cause them to lose interest in their target.

7. No Contact

Applying the "No Contact" rule is a certain way to put a narcissist in their place. No contact is the ultimate blow to the narc's fragile self-esteem and ego. The rule was introduced as a way to finally banish them for good. It's quite simple to follow. Just unfollow, block, and delete all traces of them online and offline.

Refuse to respond if they try making contact with you using fake numbers or third parties, also known as “flying monkeys.” Resorting to no contact a significant sign that you're done!

Related Article: 5 Mistakes To Avoid When Dealing With A Narcissist