5 Mistakes To Avoid When Dealing With A Narcissist

5 Mistakes To Avoid When Dealing With A Narcissist

Narcissists thrive off of control, manipulation, and fear. You should never give this person your power or allow them to take away more of yourself. What narcissists don’t like is seeing you take control over your life and be happy, they want to see you unhappy and dependent on them. So, you need to recognize unhealthy patterns that you may have unintentionally fallen into and eliminate them. This awareness becomes the first step towards real change

Here it is, 5 mistakes to avoid dealing with a narcissist.

1. Seeking validation

People are generally brought up receiving validation from parents, teachers, bosses, and more. Occasionally wanting validation is normal and healthy but seeking validation from others all the time can make you unhappy and insecure. Fortunately,

Validation is power. Narcissists do not want to give away power. Essentially, they farm you so that you will give them validation whenever you see them. Seeking validation from a narcissist is a mistake because you’re operating on the assumption that they care about you, which they don’t, or they wouldn’t have hurt you in such a way in the first place. the narcissist sees you as a possession, an object – a thing. You are simply an extension of the narcissist, according to them.

2. Waiting for an apology

Waiting for a narcissist to apologize is a mistake because, even if you do receive one, it won't be genuine because whatever they are regretting is behavior, they will continue to engage in. Narcissists typically take one of two approaches: either they don't apologize for anything because they feel they haven't done anything wrong and nothing is ever their fault, or they do so with the intention of getting you to stop talking so they can resume what they were doing. Or you'll receive an apology that ends without a period: I'm sorry, but.

3. Believing they’ll change

Believing a narcissist will change is a mistake. However, because they believe there is nothing wrong with them and because there is no reward, narcissists lack motivation to improve. Narcissists purposefully cause suffering because they are fully aware of what they are doing. They are abusers who are aware of their abuse but find no need to stop because they benefit from it (control, power, supply). The only change you can anticipate from a narcissist is that they will get worse, not that they do not change at all.

4. Sharing your needs, hopes, hurts, and dreams.

Sometimes, you could believe that by trying to win over a narcissist's sympathy, you might successfully change the course of the relationship. You can expose yourself by disclosing some of your most intimate details in the hopes that the narcissist would become more understanding and compassionate. These mistakes can have devastating results since narcissism is characterized by a lack of affection. Your revelations will undoubtedly come back to haunt you when the narcissist feels the need to fire "emotional bullets" in your direction since narcissists are data gatherers. Keep in mind that they are not trustworthy.

How will your disclosure about how you feel possibly change their behavior depends on how they see you and your disclosure. They may take advantage of your feelings or retaliate if they feel offended by your disclosure. Not everyone deserves to see your feelings, so, only disclose them to those who will appreciate them.

Read Also:  9 Things Narcissists Don't Do

5. Expecting remorse

Feeling remorse would be an admission to themselves that the people who loved them got hurt. To the narcissist, the partner failed them. The partner didn’t live up to the initial idealization that the narcissist wanted - a perfect boyfriend or girlfriend.

Expecting remorse from a narcissist is a mistake because remorse requires compassion and empathy, two qualities they lack. A narcissist doesn't experience any regret or feelings of attrition. They cannot feel what they do not possess, after all.