7 Tips for Dealing with a Narcissist (When You Don't Have a Choice)
Relationships with narcissists are often highly stressful. You are in a relationship with someone who is a master of playing mental games, and emotional abuses, which makes it extremely difficult to gain the upper hand in any conversation or interaction. Don't worry, though — disarming and overpowering a narcissist is definitely possible, as long as you have the right tools in your arsenal.
In this article, we will provide you with some tips and tips to help you deal with what helps you create a safe space between you and the narcissist in your life.
Narcissists do not have visible signs of being insane. They do not sit in coffee shops or hang out on the streets talking to aliens or throwing stones at passers-by. Quite the contrary. They are often charming, talented, and charismatic people who have an allure that draws people to them.
They can be great motivators and inspiring group leaders. Narcissists in the workplace can sometimes work wonders. They have a fire in their chest that pushes them to lead the scene of success and the pleasure of getting things done, so that they do not lose interest or distract others from them. But volcanoes of hell can erupt inside them. If they don't get what they want or if they feel attacked, they'll play all their psychological tricks until the other side gives in, apologizes, and admits they're wrong—which, by the way, are all actions narcissists would never do if confronted with their own fault or omission.
What if you are forced to deal with a narcissist? What if you are already ensnared and unsure about how to proceed?
1-Manage yourself and your expectations.
Try to pick your battles with the narcissist so that you don't get bloody bruises for nothing. A narcissist's ego is so fragile, its cuts and bruises run deeper than you can imagine. They lack the antibodies to heal these wounds. So your attempts, for example, to urge them to apologize are fruitless. Taking the high road is often a necessary strategy when dealing with a narcissist.
Don't expect a clean solution to any conflict, don't expect them to approach your point of view when you disagree with them. You should realize that slipping into the arena of constant arguments with them may drive you far to the brink of madness, as narcissists are experts at manipulating arguments and logical tornadoes. Learning how to manage yourself and adjust your expectations is your way to winning, to proving you are right. Learn how to heal yourself first.
2- Don't call them "narcissists".
Narcissists' entire lives are built around the idea that they definitively know who they are, when in reality they don't have a fully formed picture of what their disorder is. Those with ego disorders (such as narcissism) are unaware and unaffected by the way others view their desires - they don't see their symptoms as a problem, because it doesn't conflict with their internal belief system. The problem is with those around them.
So, if they felt that their grandiose façade was under attack, they would launch a counterattack. Ironically, it is likely that a narcissistic person will call you a narcissist before you have had a chance to think of calling them a narcissist. Narcissists love to call other narcissists. It is as if their subconscious knows how to get rid of this insult first to weaken any subsequent allegation against them.
Related Article: 9 Things Narcissists Don't Do
3- Detach yourself and cut off their supply.
If you have to deal with a narcissist, you will need to practice detachment. Dissociate yourself to cut off the narcissistic supply, which is the catalyst for narcissists to act the way they do. Narcissistic supply is a form of psychological addiction in which the narcissist demands unlimited special treatment, admiration, importance, or validation to fuel his or her sense of entitlement and self-centeredness.
Narcissistic supply is how narcissists engage with the world, making it a place for them to grow for them. Desires for attention, admiration, and validation are not inherently narcissistic drives. We all need to feel heard and have a sense of belonging and importance, but narcissists constantly crave that attention. They will deliberately find or create situations in which they are regularly at the center of attention, often as a way to ward off feelings of inadequacy within themselves.
Narcissists are never satisfied - no matter how much attention they receive, it will never be enough. Narcissists will seek out individuals who are easily seduced by their charm and naivety to manipulate and exploit them. Once the supply is received, the narcissist will become demanding, always wanting more. Feeding a narcissistic supply is like trying to fill a bottomless hole - and when it doesn't get that supply from you, you have to anticipate and deal with narcissistic rage bombs.
- Give yourself plenty of "me time" instead of always being available to a narcissistic partner.
- Minimize communication as much as possible with the narcissistic ex-husband. Only to the extent that it is related to the financial or educational matters of the children.
- Make a daily effort to promote self-care when you work for a narcissistic boss.
4- Setting a clear & firm boundary:
Deciding when and how you interact with a narcissist is a great way to disarm them. Narcissists are always looking for ways to push your buttons and take control. By Setting and enforcing clear boundaries you’re taking this sense of control away from them. Think about what type of behavior you aren’t willing to put up with, and step away from the narcissist whenever they violate that boundary.
- “I don't accept you calling me name. I'm leaving the room so you can talk to me respectfully.”
- “Guilt tripping is immature behavior, and I will not tolerate it. I will end the discussion until you are ready to have an actual conversation.”
- “You are speaking to me in an unacceptable tone, which is not good for me. I will not continue this conversation until you can speak to me in a respectful manner.”
The narcissist may try to test the seriousness of your boundaries, to see what they can get out of you. Keep your boundaries strong, intact, and enforceable.
5- Do not jump in front of the train.
There is no point in jumping on the train of narcissism. Let him pass without standing in his/her face to show how brave you are. Having flexibility and emotional intelligence is what will make you see that there is no harm in letting some things work in their interest, even if you feel that it is not true. Sometimes self-preservation is more important than self-sacrifice.
You do not have to be a martyr and a self-sacrifice, fighting for the sake of fighting. In the end, you will exhaust yourself in vain. In other words, if their lies don't hurt anyone or cause you huge losses, let them believe what they want.
If their behavior at work is excessive, report it to the human resources department or responsible manager. If their actions are getting in the way of a project, team up with others to help put it on the right track. But there is no need to engage in useless clashes that drain your effort and distract you away from what you want. Do not let them push you into losing side battles or match them in a game whose rules are more familiar than you.
Read Also: 7 Ways Super Empath Can Disarm A Narcissist
6- Be willing to leave.
When the narcissist pressures, they use everything in their arsenal that they thinks will prevent you from leaving him. The greatest weapon when dealing with a narcissist is mastering the art of "letting go" and showing that you don't really need them in your life. Because the biggest problem you will face when dealing with a narcissist is their ability to control your weaknesses, weaken your capabilities, and waste your resources.
Attachment, fear, and financial need are all enough obstacles to get you stuck in a toxic relationship with a narcissist, so the more emotionally, financially, and psychologically free you are, the safer you will be from this person.
7- Take Time to recover
The narcissist craves to be at the center of your thoughts and feelings — after all, this is the ultimate form of control! Giving yourself the time and space to move on is the best way to break this bond and overcome the narcissist in your life once and for all. Some good ways to start healing from a narcissistic relationship are:
- Journaling your thoughts and feelings
- Remind yourself that the abuse was not your fault.
- Practice self-care
- Visit the therapist.
- Reconnect with your family & friends.
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