Narcissistic Triangulation: Definition, Examples, & How To Respond

Narcissistic Triangulation: Definition, Examples, & How To Respond.


Narcissistic Triangulation is a manipulation tactic, often used to assert control, manipulate emotions, and maintain their desired image. Triangulation technique depend on bringing a third party into a relationship or situation to create confusion, competition, and disarming among the involved parties. This tactic can be manipulative & destructive for those caught in its web, but understanding these dynamics and how to respond can help get you out of this toxic triangle.

Narcissistic Triangulation: Definition, Examples, & How to respond


Definition of Narcissistic Triangulation:

Narcissistic triangulation is a manipulation technique involves introducing a third party into a relationship or situation. The third party can be anyone—a friend, family member, coworker, or even an ex-partner—whose presence is strategically changing the situation dynamic utilized by the narcissist to control, manipulate, or gaslight their primary target.

Narcissistic triangulation stands apart from typical triangulation by its deliberate and calculated nature.  Narcissistic People committed to a consistent pattern of triangulation that involves assuming three distinct "roles." These roles represent the various personas a narcissist adopts during conflicts to sway a third party in their favor.


Here are the three roles narcissist's triangulation game:

The Persecutor: Positioned as the antagonist, the narcissist in this role initiates the conflict. They employ tactics such as threats, blame-shifting, criticism, personal attacks, or aggressive language to establish their target as the "culprit" in the eyes of the third party.

The Victim: Here, the narcissist portrays themselves as the helpless victim, unfairly targeted and in need of rescue. By assuming this role, they absolve themselves of accountability for their own words and actions, redirecting blame onto others.

The Rescuer: Typically filled by a supportive figure in the narcissist's circle, the Rescuer role may also be assumed by the narcissist themselves to assert dominance. In this capacity, they take charge of resolving issues, smoothing over conflicts, and may even feign responsibility for their actions to manipulate feelings of guilt in their victims.


Examples in Everyday Scenarios:

Narcissistic triangulation can manifest in various guises:
  • In Romantic Relationships: the narcissist is sharing with a partner that their Ex want to come back, or they subtly flirts with another in your presence, igniting feelings of jealousy and inadequacy.
  • In Families: A Narcissistic mother may subtly pit siblings against each other, bestowing favoritism upon one while disregarding the achievements of another, fostering a breeding ground for rivalry.
  • In The Workplace: A narcissistic manager might cunningly spread misinformation about an employee or comparing him to others, tarnishing their reputation and fostering discord to secure their own position.

Read Also: What Is Gaslighting? 7 Signs, Examples & How To Respond


How To Respond To

Armed with awareness and resilience, we can navigate the labyrinth of narcissistic triangulation:

  • Embrace Awareness: Recognize the subtle signs of manipulation and emotional turbulence within your relationships. Awareness serves as a beacon guiding us through the fog of manipulation.
  • Set your own Boundaries: Establish firm boundaries, shielding yourself from the toxic tendrils of manipulation. Refuse to engage in gossip or mind games, preserving your integrity and self-worth.
  • Seek Support: In times of turmoil, seek solace in the embrace of trusted confidants or professional guidance. Support networks provide a sanctuary of validation and empowerment amidst the storm.
  • Prioritize Self-Care: Nourish your mind, body, and soul with acts of self-love and care. Engage in activities that replenish your spirit and foster resilience in the face of adversity.
  • Choose Empowerment: Empower yourself to make choices that honor your well-being and autonomy. Whether it involves distancing yourself from toxic individuals or seeking avenues of growth, prioritize your journey towards self-fulfillment.

In conclusion, dealing with a narcissist's triangulation requires to be armed with awareness & self-esteem, as it's a pervasive and destructive manipulation tactic employed by a narcissistic person to assert control and manipulate others. By understanding the dynamics of triangulation and implementing strategies to protect yourself, you can reclaim your power, maintain healthy relationships, and preserve your emotional well-being. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect, honesty, and dignity in all your relationships.

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