Why Narcissists & Borderlines fall in love

The relationship between narcissistic personality disorder And borderline personality disorder

It is the relationship of the attractive poles, an integral relationship between negative and positive that results in toxic energy from abuse and exploitation.

The relationship of the absolute search for safety between two parties, both of whom use the same way, but the goal and the application are different.

The narcissist seeks to support the shaky self-image within him through an external party over which he exercises control and through which he feels great and distinguished.

And the borderline person seeks to support the vibrating self-image inside him through an external party as well, but he searches with him for the lost security and the absent love in his life

Unfortunately, both of them are extremists in their outlook and evaluation of things and people, and they can only do so through an unrealistic view: Either they are "good" or "totally bad." When they see something that shows that the other person is not quite good, they simply turn to seeing the person as completely bad - and vice versa.

Therefore, if they see you "well," they only remember the things that support that view. When they see you as "totally bad," they only remember things that support that view. Because both views are overly extreme and imprecise, they are unstable and can sometimes quickly switch back and forth during the day.

In the following table there is a brief and simplified explanation about the differences and similarities between the narcissist and the marginal person and the reasons for their coexistence in one relationship.

Narcissist	Borderline
Narcissists want an ongoing boost in self-esteem	Borderline want constant, unconditional love
Narcissistic individuals want their partner to enhance their sense of self-esteem	Borderline want constant reassurance that they are loved
The narcissistic personality disorder also has an unstable sense of self, but it is overcompensated with lack of empathy, self-exaltation, style of grandeur, need for admiration, and lack of empathy for others	Many borderline people live for love. They use contact with someone as a treatment for feelings of emptiness, anxiety, and loneliness
Obsessed with getting approval, and extremely sensitive to criticism, he tends to be more pathological. And by being preoccupied with how they appear to others	A person with a borderline personality feels very afraid of abandonment, his feelings will change quickly and unexpectedly
Narcissists will, by nature, demand increased amounts of adulation, which, if not fulfilled, can cause them to go from the charismatic savior to the righteous type	Borderline personality is often characterized by periods of anxiety or depression, and has a susceptibility to exposure to drug abuse and other addictive behaviors.
	People with a borderline personality often encounter projective identification, in which he or she fails to recognize disturbing aspects of an individual's personality

Common features between the two sides
The lack of both is a hallmark of the current intimate skill set of people with personality disorders. This mutual lack of "perfect object relationships" and "object constancy"
These two personality disorders act as polar opposites to each other; Positive and negative charges attract each other
Often when a Borderline marries a narcissist, it is the Borderline buddy who usually has the biggest problem breaking up with the relationship. This is because they are terribly conflicted: one side is completely rational and knows that the relationship is not working and that they have to leave, while the other side is very afraid to take the step of leaving because this means that they will return to isolation again.
Unfortunately, as the relationship progresses, their fundamental differences in how they deal with life and what they want from each other and their lack of "perfect object relationships" and "object constancy", make their relationship inherently unstable and unlikely to continue

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Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer