How to deal with the Narcissistic Smear Campaign on you

How to deal with the Narcissistic Smear Campaign on you 

Leaving the narcissist is not easy, it will take time to finish your life journey with the narcissist , Your ex will not let you go without a struggle.

All your friends and family will hear how crazy, unbalanced, manipulative and narcissistic you are. Your ex is sure to hit first; You may not want to hit at all, but your hand may seem forced to protect yourself

A narcissist's smear campaign can be very compelling. Since you kept your mouth silent about the issues you were facing with him in this relationship. No one expected this. 

When your ex-boyfriend starts talking about you negatively, he will talk about your negativity convincingly and in a pitiful and sympathetic manner, as other people may be tempted to believe what they hear. They had no idea how mad you were, but now, if they think about it, they remember the time you did x, y, or z.

Like many people with narcissism, your ex can be a major manipulator. He can show the picture of a miserable face and sad tears, and convince everyone of how much he loves you, and how ignorant he is about why this matter ended so suddenly. 

You may be suffering from psychological problems or are in a midlife crisis. Obviously, something is wrong with you.

Smear campaign may succeed even with your children. The kids have become so accustomed to life in an abusive relationship that the concept of a scapegoat seems natural. 

The blame and insulting model is designed to be acceptable. They may not see anything out of the ordinary in making you the target of anger. And since they love the narcissistic parent, they likely want to earn their favor, which makes it easier for them to join the campaign.

Here's how to implement the narcissistic ٍSmear
campaign:

1- It generally contains the element of truth.

 For example, if the person with narcissism complains about you abandoning the relationship, that is true. He will probably keep talking about how all he wanted was to love you and stay with you, but, in a trap, you left the relationship fickle - for no reason other than that you don't care about anything other than yourself and can't fulfill your obligations.

2- This is done with some ill-intentioned hint.

 A person with narcissism might say something like, "I don't want to look mean, but some people who have a relationship with you or certain situations make me anxious." Those listening come to their conclusions about you based on this subtly nefarious input.

3- This is done in public.

 Sometimes a person with narcissism will come out and say, 'You're crazy, no good! He will tell story after story about all the terrible things that you have done to him. They will take advantage of every vulnerability or weakness and use them in a meaningful way, along with fabricated information, to discredit you and slander your name.

HOW TO DEAL WITH NARCISSISTIC SMEAR  ATTACKS

What can you do if you find yourself in this position? Here are some tried-and-true suggestions from those who have gone before you:

1- Learn to value yourself above anyone else's opinion.

 The only way a smear campaign can succeed is if you allow it. If people choose to accept these false accusations about you, it hurts - but you don't have to let that destroy you. You can learn to not care what other people think of you

2- Remember why you left the relationship in the first place. 

You have been devalued and offended. You are left as a result of your continued treatment without respect. And if other people are going to jump in on the narcissist’s side and join the hate campaign against you, simply step back and remind yourself that you deserve respect.

3- Resist the urge to defend yourself. 

While this may be easier said than done, it is an important concept. Remember when you were in your relationship? You've probably done a lot defending yourself. You may have tried to explain yourself a thousand times, to no avail. You end up falling into all sorts of "clogged" traps. Now that you are out of the relationship, understand that this person will continue to try to control your emotions in a similar way - making you doubt your motivations, your good nature, and even your mind.

Yes, you deserve the defense, but falling into the trap of trying to convince others (and the narcissist) to see your kind heart can become a never-ending battle. It's easier to simply say to yourself, "I don't care" and then move on.

4- Take a preemptive strike.

 In other words, he made friends with his "enemies". Let them get to know you personally. It's very hard to hate someone you don't know very well. If you can befriend the people your ex is targeting in his campaign, you may be able to strike some balance in that battle against you. If the people you target are family members (including your children), tell them about your side of the story. 

Let them know that you are the target of a smear campaign and do not believe what your ex says about you. Tell them that the narcissist creates "fabricated stories" to the point that what they say is fiction and a waste of time. Be upfront, persuasive, and assertive.

5 - Focus on what you can deal with, and not what you can’t

No matter what other people think or do, you really have no power over them. The only person you have power over is yourself. No matter what other people do with their thoughts and actions toward or against you, you have no control over them. You might be able to influence them, but that's it. 

Don't spend a lot of your precious energy trying to get others to see the truth. Spend time with people who do not judge you - those who value you and help you feel supported and loved. Enjoy your life!

Related Article: 2 Things that can trap you in relationship with a narcissist

Source:

Sharon Stines - Gooodthetapy