6 Signs You're In A Toxic Relationship & How to Cope With

What is a toxic relationship?

A toxic relationship is one that makes you feel insecure, misunderstood, demeaned, or constantly attacked, so any relationship makes you feel bad emotionally, psychologically, and even physically. Instead of getting better it may get toxic over time. Toxic relationships can exist in almost any context, between friends, co-workers, with a life partner, or between your family members.

The difference between a toxic relationship and a healthy relationship:

A toxic relationship is one characterized by behaviors on the part of a toxic partner that are emotionally and physically harmful to their partner. While a healthy relationship boosts our self-esteem and emotional energy, a toxic relationship destroys self-esteem and drains energy.

A healthy relationship includes mutual care, respect, compassion, concern for our partner's well-being and growth, the ability to share control and decision-making, and, in short, a shared desire for each other's happiness.

A healthy relationship is a safe relationship, one in which we can be ourselves without fear, a place where we feel comfortable and safe. On the other hand, a toxic relationship is not a safe place.

A toxic relationship is characterized by insecurity, self-focus, dominance and control. We risk our existence to remain in such a relationship

Signs of a toxic relationship:

1- Jealousy.

While it is normal to feel jealous from time to time, it can become a problem if you cannot make yourself think or feel positive about your partner's success. Intense jealousy stems only from two things: a person's lack of self-confidence or distrust of their partner.

2- Controlling behaviors.

Wondering where you are all the time or being overly upset when you don't answer messages right away are two signs of controlling behavior, which can contribute to toxicity in the relationship.

Other signs of control behavior include:

He tell you what is right
Threatens you with punishment for violating his orders
He needs to know everything you do and who you are
He tries to control managing your money
Keeping you from your loved ones
Not leaving a private space for you or respecting your boundaries

3- Resentment.

Hold on to grudges and allow them to fester in the intimate relationship. "Over time, frustration or resentment can build up and make the chasm smaller and much larger,"

4- Lack of Trust.

A partner is someone you can count on, be vulnerable to, and who is in your corner. Lack of confidence goes both ways. If you don't trust your partner, you will be left feeling uncomfortable in your relationship.

If your partner has shown you that you cannot trust them, then you will spend all of the time questioning your partner's actions In the absence of confidence, where suspicion reigns, none of these things will be possible.

8 Steps To Fix A Toxic Relationship

5- Hostile communications.

Instead of treating each other with kindness, most of your conversations are filled with sarcasm, criticism, or overt hostility. You can even start avoiding talking to each other.

Overt forms of hostile communications include:

Shouting
Insults or other hurtful phrases
Throwing things and smashing them
Use of physical intimidation or force
Punitive silence

6- You give more than you get

If your relationship is constantly revolving around what makes your partner happy and ignores your needs, that could be a sign of toxicity. If you find yourself repeatedly saying no to yourself to say yes to them, you may want to consider setting some boundaries, "If they ignore or underestimate your boundaries, broaden their boundaries, it could also be a sign of a toxic relationship."

Signs of a one-sided relationship include:

Always be the first to ask and initiate a call
There are long gaps between sending a message and receiving a reply
The conversations between you are intermittent
You find yourself repeatedly asking about your partner to change his behavior
Existence of a significantly unequal division of labor, responsibility, or contribution to the relationship or family

Coping With Toxic Relationship

While not every toxic relationship cannot be avoided, especially between a co-worker or a family member, it can be managed with health boundaries, self-care, and awareness. If you find yourself in a toxic relationship where you bring out the worst in each other (or simply fail to bring out the best), you may want to work on the relationship and change the dynamic - especially if there are other benefits to the relationship.

Assertive communication and healthy boundaries are often the keys to bringing out the best in the other - especially if you two are willing to make changes.

Here are some other steps to get over a toxic relationship:

Talk to the other person about what you are watching.
Be assertive about your needs and feelings while taking responsibility for your role in the situation.
Discuss what you see as a problem and decide together whether you want to change the dynamic to ensure that both of your needs are met.
Reassess your relationship and ask yourself: Is this person causing real harm to my self-esteem and my overall mental health?
Limit the time you spend with people who bring frustration or unhappiness into your life.
If this person is someone you need to interact with, such as a family member or co-worker, you may need to limit the interactions.
If you decide to talk about your concerns, use "I feel" when describing your feelings and emotions. Instead of attacking and criticizing language in the "you" formula, doing so helps prevent the other party from feeling the urge to defend themselves or counter-attack
Finally: Find a support or start a therapy. which is often needed to solve the underlying issue behind the toxicity

Sings of toxic people and how to deal with them

Sources
verywellmind.com/toxic-relationships
.insider.com/signs-of-a-toxic-relationship
.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship

Top Bar

Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer