6 Things A Narcissist Does At The End Of A Relationship
Being with a narcissist can be frustrating, especially if you are not one yourself and have a low tolerance for such behavior. When a relationship ends, a narcissist walks away thinking that they are better off without you while you lost someone so good. This is their trait and this is how their mind works. It is always better to not take this to heart, not let them manipulate you in any way and remember that you are always good enough, even if they don’t see it.
A victim's illness, aging, and job losses or promotions can act as triggers for the narcissist to suddenly abandon the relationship.Also if you unable or unwilling to participate in the life the narcissist has designed, that may prompt the narcissist to leave.
Regardless of who takes the first step to leave, here's what you can expect at the end of a relationship with a narcissist. they will:
1. Blaming you
When things don't go well, the narcissist places the blame entirely on
someone else.
You were on a pedestal at the beginning of the relationship. You were so
cool and exemplary, and the narcissist was happy that he "won" you as a
fellow. Now that the narcissist has seen the relationship as broken,
damaged, and over - it's all your fault. They say you are too fat, too
needy, or too happy.
When the narcissist gets to this point, he will no longer listen to you or give you any consideration and may not be ready to talk to you anymore. If you apologize profusely enough and ask for reconciliation, you may get back together for a while, but maybe things between the two of you will never be good again.
2. Try to convince you that you were wrong
After months or years of telling you you're wrong and the narcissist underestimating the value of your decisions, you may be subject to a devaluation in yourself. And the narcissist will certainly try to convince you that you made a mistake. They possess the charisma, the persuasion, then the intimidation,
The narcissist will say, “You misinterpreted what I said. Of course, you should know that I love you deep down; why should I say that all the time? How about all the good times we spent together? Look at the negativity a lot. You don't understand the stress I was experiencing. From him lately.You are taking things personally.You are overreacting.You are too emotional.
Agitation and the outright provocation to regain control of the
relationship.
Even though the narcissist tries to sound positive about the relationship
and why you shouldn't leave, you will notice that all of these "causes"
are actually negative remarks about you and what is wrong with what you're
doing. These aren't real encouragements to stay in the relationship; It's
actually a manipulation to lower your self-esteem so that you don't leave.
3- Try To Take You ON Gilt Trip
Guilt is a powerful tool for a narcissist to get you back in the relationship. A narcissist comes every time he does something nice for you, confirms how much he cares about you, or reminds you of the great times you had together. If the positives don't get you back, narcissists are ramping up their devaluing attacks. Any complaint you have about them will be reversed. Narcissists constantly blame their partners for the behaviors they actually exhibit at that very moment - shouting, insults, hostility, selfishness, hate, and passive aggression, to name a few.
These types of accusations also increase your guilt, so you will likely redouble your efforts to prove to the narcissist that you are not selfish, greedy, or evil. This is just what a narcissist wants because it re-engages you in the relationship. Once the narcissist pushes you to respond and stand up for yourself, he can make you feel helpless and guilty and participate in the relationship until he is ready to end it.
4. A promise of change
If persuasion, guilt, and attention-grabbing behaviors don't get you back into the relationship, the narcissist breaks off the promise of change. Suddenly the narcissist says they understand why you are upset and ready to leave. They seem to take responsibility for their behavior. They promise to go to therapy, do whatever you ask for, and do things your way. They are so sorry for hurting you.
And in order not to cling to this false hope. Narcissists can't stop trying to control you, and they don't seem to be in control of their behaviors for any length of time. For a while, you thought things were getting better. However, when the narcissist feels comfortable in the relationship again, he will return to being self-absorbed, impassive, arrogant, insensitive, and blame. And always if things don't go their way, they immediately revert to the same defensive and aggressive patterns. How often do you want to believe that the false promises of a narcissist are up to you.
5. Use gossip
It's hard to keep the end of your relationship with a narcissist out of the public eye because the narcissist asks everyone you know to choose a side. As soon as possible, they will tell your friends, neighbors, church members and acquaintances with the club in person and on social media their version of your breakup story.
This is very distressing for most victims. Throughout your entire relationship, the narcissist has insisted on being extremely private about your interactions together, and now they're spreading all sorts of misinformation and slander and trying to spoil your good name. All too often victims keep fulfilling their promises to not talk about the relationship, which means that narcissists' lies stand unchallenged.
6. The stalking
Although stalking is usually not blatant or direct by narcissists, it is not uncommon for narcissists to come across in the grocery store when you are around, suddenly appear at a community or social event you attend, or change their course of running until they come down. Your street every morning.
Be prepared ahead of time for the possibility of these unexpected meetings. They are designed to keep you aware of the narcissists around you, and not feel emotionally balanced.
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