7 Mind Games The Narcissist Use It To Manipulate You

It is important to realize whether you are in a real relationship or if the other person is manipulating you, using various mental games to feed their ego.Narcissists in particular are people who often engage in a pattern of manipulative, abusive, and manipulative mental games to get what they want in relationships.

Narcissists look for specific things from a relationship that do not include love or intimacy. They often use relationships as a way to boost their ego or the low self-esteem within them. Practicing mental games during relationships allows narcissists to successfully satisfy their ego without any commitment.

Mind games don't start in the first stage of a relationship. In the early days of relationships, narcissists use one of the biggest weapons of manipulation which is the love-bombing , and with this, they manipulate and "charm" their victims. "Love bombing is often used to gain your confidence and affection so that they can achieve their goal." Which often includes exaggerated gestures, such as sending inappropriate gifts to your job (dozens of packages instead of one, for example) or buying expensive plane tickets for a vacation, and drastically ramping up connections.

All of this may seem harmless enough, but the goal is to manipulate you into thinking you owe them something. "Most often, love is bombed by a narcissist with the intent of attracting and controlling the person being bombarded in love."

So what are the mental games that the narcissist uses in the next stages in order to enhance his control and exploit his victims?

Once the victim has surrendered, loses all of her defenses, and is fully immersed in the relationship, a devaluation phase occurs, in which narcissists withdraw all their kindness and instead punish the victim with whatever he deems appropriate - screaming, silent treatment, or even physical abuse. And the use of various mental manipulation tactics to crush her will.

1. The fear game.

A narcissist knows how to play the keys to your fear and how to use your fear to his advantage. they plays emotional hide-and-seek and seeks or becomes unavailable from time to time because they knows how anxious you would feel if he/She distanced himself from you. He or she uses your fear to his advantage to feed his ego, and restrict you further so that you cannot get away from him. Your fear of loss will cause you to do anything to keep him around you.

2. The "threat to leave" game.

When you tend to address your fears or feelings, or express your discomfort about a behavior, the narcissistic reaction is "If you don't like it, go." Or they will pressure you through the threat that they will leave you if you do not stop your annoying behavior, and they may tell you that you disappointed him and that you should separate.

They knows very well that you will not leave and that they will not leave either. They persistence of such threats will eventually make you refrain from telling him how you are feeling so that you are not a cause of ruining the relationship. Well, you just fell into his trap and are right where thy wants you to be. Congratulations! You are now a victim of the mind games that narcissists play

3. The victim's Role game.

The narcissist always paints himself as a victim in his story when they tells his partner about the past. It highlights how they was exposed to betrayal or how things were unfair in the relationship between the two of you in the past. And they are the wronged party who squandered his right, then pressures you to repeat allegations that history will repeat itself every time. And that you may become a cause of his pain and feelings of disappointment .

Dr. Joseph Borgo, Author of the book Building Self-Confidence and the Narcissist "Emphasizes: Since narcissists lack true self-esteem, they often resort to self-pity as an alternative. Feeling sorry for yourself because you are a victim makes you the mistreated and misunderstood protagonist in a story revolving around you.

4. A divide and conquer game.

Well, after you become a couple, your friends or close members who you have may have opinions opposing your choice or criticize your partner a lot. Some might say they are a hateful person or deceive you into making you fall in love. Even though you know your friends care about you, you find yourself holding back and ignoring their warnings to you just because you love your narcissist.

On the other hand, your partner wants to spend more time with you and wonders why you would like to spend time with your friends if they always talk negatively about your relationship.

So they uses divide and rule, a classic mental game that narcissists play while dating, in which they tells you that you must choose between staying with him or keeping those relationships. Or they threatens you to cut off your relationship with someone from your family, or they will leave you

Also, he may turn the conflict into a deeper level, when he shows to your friends and relatives how unhappy he is about your behavior with him and that they have to intervene to advise you or warn about your worrisome behavior and thus succeed in creating a gap between you and them. Unfortunately, as a result of you becoming in love with him and fear of losing him, you will yield to his threats and implement what he asks for from you, and with the passage of time you will find yourself isolated from the world.

5 - Hoovering Game.

When loved ones don't listen to you, you are likely feeling lonely. This leaves you vulnerable to further manipulation. Your abuser might push you to come back with kindness, or even apologize, or pretend the abuse never happened. This tactic, known as hoovering, often works best when you lack support. You are more likely to suspect your perceptions of abuse when you cannot talk to anyone about it. If your loved ones reach out to say you made a mistake and encourage you to give the abusive partner another chance, you may end up doing so simply to restore that connection with them.

6. Delusion and denial.

Narcissists cannot handle reality because it conflicts with what they want it to be real, and this creates painful feelings. As a coping mechanism, they learn to delude themselves that what is actually real is not real, yet they see the situation as real, even though it is not. Sometimes they really see it that way. Other times, it is just a story they tell themselves and others. Often, the longer you tell a story, the more you will believe it, even if you know at first it is incorrect. And so eventually they might start to really believe it. Either way, the first step is to create a copy of the events that replaces what actually happened or what is happening.

This is what in psychology is called an illusion of truth effect, The illusion of truth effect, also known as the illusion of truth, describes how when we hear the same misinformation repeated over and over again, we often think it is true. Worryingly, this happens even when people must know better - that is, when people first know that misinformation is wrong.

7. Hot potato game

This phrase is taken from Dr. Craig Malkins' book, Rethinking Narcissism, not only is the narcissist denying that he feels not angry when his jaw is tight, his face is red, and his arms are folded tightly against his chest, but Hell continues to return what he feels to you. But he will not leave it at this point;

He'll accuse you of being angry all the time, yelling at you about how tired of the same old feud, and guess what will happen? Sure, if he pushes you hard enough, he will get angry and you are now making him a victim and telling you that he's tired of your anger. In the best possible scenario for a narcissist, you will end up apologizing to him

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Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer