10 Things NOT To Do With Narcissists

10 Things NOT To Do With Narcissists

Narcissists are known for their compulsive desire for attention and control. They often feel entitled to obtaining and maintaining power and the ability to influence others in all of their relationships, whether it be personal or private.

Here are 10 “don’ts” for dealing with narcissists:

1. Avoid Paying Attention To Everything A Narcissist Does Or Says

Narcissists can easily get you distracted from your goals with their attempt to get your attention.
Refrain yourself from being unsettled by the “attention seeking” attempts of a narcissist. Do not respond to everything he or she does.

Do all you can to create a balance between focusing on your own sense of purpose and acknowledging his or her feelings.

2-Don't expect them to take responsibility. 

Narcissists take credit and blame, and they rarely apologize or admit wrongdoing. Narcissists believe that they have a special status, greater status, and more rights than others. They have no interest in being equal or owning what they do other than taking credit. Seeking to get narcissists to take responsibility for negative actions can be a waste of time. 

If you want to indicate their role in a problem, that's fine but do it because you need to say it, not because you expect them to hear or validate your concerns.

3. Don't Lose Your Self-Esteem.

You haven't lost your self-esteem as a result of having a narcissist in your family, have you? For no reason must you be bullied into losing your self-esteem by the narcissist family member.
Know this, he or she will always want to be the one to decide what is and isn't reasonable in the family. And trust me; the narcissist will always be confident in his or her judgments.

But you can build or maintain your self-esteem and that of other members of the family, by questioning the judgments of the narcissist when necessary.

4. Don't try to beat them at their own game. 

This may be tempting, but remember: Narcissists have spent their entire lives perfecting a drive for self-aggrandizement. They do more juggling per week than most people do all year. Narcissists have a mortal fear of feeling insulted or inferior. As a result, they dedicate enormous energy to cultivating ego-boosting sources, generally at the expense of others. 

Trying to outsmart them in a war of words or adopt their techniques is like taking on an amateur against a seasoned pro. He will not be satisfied, and rarely succeed. Instead, be yourself and be true to your values.

5- Don't take their actions personally.

Narcissists take advantage of anyone they can. They may treat those close to them particularly negatively, but few are immune to narcissistic insults and manipulation. If you take what they do personally, you give them extra real estate in your mind and psyche which is exactly what narcissists want. Abuse by narcissists is painful and wrong, but narcissists target anyone who gets in their way. Not personal. That's just what they do

6. Don't accept a false accusation from a narcissist.

Narcissists are often fond of accusing another person of the same things or situations for which they are responsible. While such false accusations are often made in your absence (eg to your boss at your workplace, or with friends). Narcissists are also bold enough to accuse you of traits they know they are responsible for. They do this in order to make you feel wrong and they are blind. But no matter how persuasive or confident they are, never accept their false accusations. 

Of course there is every tendency you will drop and accept their accusations. But you can refrain from doing this by understanding that they are masters when it comes to persuading or confusing people.

7. Don't expect sympathy. 

The hallmark of narcissism is a lack of empathy. Empathy is based on the assumption that others deserve and deserve the same attention and compassion. Does this sound like something a narcissist thinks? Their sense of entitlement makes them feel little interest in fair play or reciprocity. Their exaggeration leads them to see others as inferior and thus unworthy of sympathy. 

Instead of expecting sympathy and reciprocity from a narcissist, focus on respecting yourself and respecting your needs and rights.

8- Do not expect them to change.

People with narcissistic personality disorder or strong narcissistic personality disorder rarely change. They may change some behaviors over time, but the underlying dynamics that drive them are generally present for life. Narcissists view others as either threats or potential victims and are caught up in an endless search for attention and approval. Hope that they change is preparing. Instead, accept who they are and focus on how to take care of yourself around them

9. Don't underestimate the power of narcissism.

Narcissism is a profound distortion of one's sense of self. A narcissist's life is centered around gaining the "narcissist's supply": attention, wealth, power, control, sexual conquest, and more. They have endless hunger and need to be fed endlessly. Furthermore, while people with narcissistic personality disorder or a strong narcissistic pattern may change some behaviors over time, the psychological dynamics of narcissism generally last a lifetime.

10. You don't feel the need to justify your thoughts, feelings, or actions.

Many narcissists try to convince others of themselves. They may do this by asking specific or instructive questions, and act as if you need to explain yourself to them. Get this for what it is: an attempt to undermine you. One useful self-help mantra is No JADE, which means justify, argue, defend, or explain. You do not need to explain or justify your feelings or thoughts. Furthermore, arguing with a narcissist or standing up for yourself in front of them is generally counterproductive.

Narcissists tend to be interested in winning rather than listening; Competition, not communication

Read Also: 10 Things Narcissists Will Never Do

sources:

psychcentral.com/things-not-to-do-with-narcissists

psychologytoday.com/things-not-do-narcissists