7 Subtle Signs OF Manipulation In Relationships

7 Subtle Signs OF  Manipulation In Relationships

Manipulative people use mental distortion and emotional manipulation to influence and control their victims. Thus, their goal is to have power and control over others to get what they want. 

The person who is manipulating you knows your weaknesses very well and will use them against you. 

On the other hand, if you are dealing with a chronically manipulative person. Recognizing signs of manipulation in your relationship can be difficult because it may have started up subtle. Over time, manipulative behavior in relationships can become a daily dynamic with your partner.

Manipulation in relationships?

Manipulators exploit and control the people around them in various ways to serve their needs and goals. An example of relationship manipulation is that they don't give you a direct answer, sometimes because they don't know any other way to communicate or to hide the truth from you.

Or when you choose to do something, the person does not agree with, they recruit members of your family or friends to persuade you out of it

Also, narcissists, for example, are manipulative because they are self-centered and have excessive self-love that makes them feel no empathy for those around them. Of course, they also want to achieve their goals of being the center of attention and getting what they want in life even at the expense of others.
Moreover, signs of manipulation can be subtle, especially if they are surrounded by emotion. Either way, whether it's overt or subtle forms of manipulation, you're still forced to feel or do something you don't want to.

What is manipulation? 

Manipulation is coercive or immoral behavior motivated with the aim of exploiting or controlling another person for personal gain. Manipulation can happen to anyone in all kinds of relationships, from friends and romantic partnerships to parenting and family relationships. Even co-workers and your boss may have manipulative tendencies.

Taylor Dragen, a professional marriage and family counselor and therapist, explains that manipulation "can be a very effective way to get what you want, but it can also be very dangerous." He adds, "If someone can manipulate you, they can control your actions and thoughts. So it is important to be aware of the signs of manipulation so that you can protect yourself from this type of abuse."

How do you notice the traits of a manipulator? 

You may not always be able to easily identify examples of relationship manipulation because they can be confusing and indirect. Manipulative people may seem friendly and charming on the surface, but deep down, there is a dark motive that drives them to manipulate you. If you feel confused, guilty, or physically abused, you may be in a relationship with a manipulative person.

7 signs of manipulative behavior in relationships

1. Passive aggression 

Passive aggression is behavior that is indirectly aggressive rather than directly aggressive. Passive-aggressive people often show resistance to the demands of other individuals by procrastinating, expressing sadness, or acting stubbornly.

One frustrating example of passive aggression manipulation in relationships is when people don't say what they mean. Instead, they will just stay silent and stare at you, making you try to guess what's wrong. Other passive-aggressive manipulative linguistic examples include saying "I'm fine" with drooling facial expressions or saying "Thank you" for not helping me. Basically, you will find that this person has negative feelings that they cannot or do not want to share openly.

2. Using anger and intimidation 

Emotions are the best way to control and manipulate others. Most of us like to think, using logic and reason to make decisions. However, we also need emotions. Furthermore, many of us don't learn how to manage our emotions, so we become easy targets for manipulation. through the use of intimidation. Feelings of dread and anxiety are instilled in you through by using looks, actions, gestures. Smashing or destroying things. Destroying or confiscating your property such as your mobile phone.

Anger and intimidation are obvious examples of relationship manipulation because they make us nervous and freeze over from potential fear. So we want to do everything we can to stay safe. And this is what the manipulator wants.

3. Play the victim 

When playing the victim, the manipulative person will refuse to take responsibility for the circumstances they are going through. Instead, they points the finger at others to feel guilty, or simply ignores his role in perpetuating the problem.

The person playing the victim also likes to hold on to old grievances. Thus making others feel bad about their actions. Such people carry these things like weapons, just in case anyone tries to hold them responsible for something. The victim will bring up old memories and the events in which he may have been harmed, to use as compelling reasons for not being able to make changes to his situation, life, or circumstances in the present.

4. Guilt trips

Guilt tripping is an indirect approach to communication. It can be a powerful weapon, and many people know how to use it skillfully. Guilt behaviors often appear in intimate relationships - think of romantic partnerships, friendships, professional relationships, or family relationships, and guilt trips are effectively present behavior.

in other words , Guilt trips can arise in any relationship in which you care about the feelings of the other person and have an emotional bond with them. People often use guilt to express frustration or annoyance, usually when something prevents them from coming out and saying exactly how they feel. Or they may feel guilty if they have difficulty communicating assertively and directly expressing their needs.

5. Focus on your fears 

Emotional manipulators in relationships know how to use your doubts and fears against you. So, when you worry about not being good enough in the relationship, they will reinforce it by telling you that you always fall short in your duties towards them or they put terms, restrictions, or rules on the giving of their love.

The idea is that you feel bad about yourself, and so you give in to their demands in the hope that you will feel better when they express their satisfaction with you. This is just one example of relationship manipulation and over time, you will feel worse because you keep sacrificing your own needs, succumbing to feelings of inadequacy and guilt that are constantly instilled in you.

Read Also : 5 Effective Ways To Handle & Respond To The Silent Treatment

6. Love bombing 

Love bombing is manipulation through excessive attention especially in the beginning of a relationship, and you are often showered with gifts, compliments, affection and time. These things may be wonderful, but they can also be confusing. However, love bombing is when that excessive attention is so exhilarating, and takes all of your attention.

"Once you are 'addicted' to this attention, it will suddenly stop, and it will make you panicked to seek it out or chase it back to get that excessive interest back in." And thus you find your feet slip into the trap of control and manipulation , and you will have to do anything in order to restore this false love again, no matter what it costs you.

7- Projection

Projection occurs when someone claims that the emotions they are feeling - such as jealousy - are actually experienced by another person. For example, a person with manipulative tendencies may cause tension and drama, but blame someone else for creating that energy.

Maggie Holland, a licensed counselor in Washington State, explains that projection helps the manipulative person evade responsibility for their actions and helps them avoid changing their behaviors. “But it can also erode your confidence in your reality,” she adds, especially when you believe these accusations and every time you have to defend yourself to ward off those accusations.