
9 Smart Ways Empaths Can Outsmart Narcissists Without Losing Themselves
9 Smart Ways Empaths Can Outsmart Narcissists Without Losing Themselves
A narcissist and an empath have a one-sided relationship in which one is the giver and the other takes as much as they can while leaving the other dry.
Empaths and narcissists are two personality types that often find themselves in relationships that can be challenging, to say the least. Empaths are those who are highly attuned to the emotions of others and are often drawn to helping and caring for those in need. Narcissists, on the other hand, are those who are highly self-centered and have an inflated sense of self-importance.
When these two personality types come together, it can create a toxic dynamic where the empath is constantly giving, and the narcissist is constantly taking. As the narcissist will toy with an empath by using their insecurities against them and then turn around and use those same insecurities to get closer to the empath again.
The psychotherapist and author of "The Empath's Survival Guide," Judith Orloff, claims that this is a toxic attraction that will end badly.
Empaths are "a giving, loving person who is going to try and be devoted to you, love you, and listen to you," she added. "What narcissists see in empaths is a giving, loving person." "Unfortunately, because initially this is about a false self, empaths are drawn to narcissists. When you don't do things their way, narcissists go from appearing charming, bright, and even giving to becoming cold, withholding, and punishing. But it doesn't have to be this way.
Discover 9 powerful ways empaths can turn the tables on narcissists and reclaim their emotional strength.
1. Don't Take It Personally
Narcissists often project their own insecurities onto others. If they are critical of you or your actions, don't take it personally. It's likely more about them than it is about you.
It still stings, of course — especially when the words come from someone close. But reminding yourself that their behavior reflects their wounds, not your worth, can be the first step in setting yourself free.
2. Set Boundaries
Empaths are natural givers, but it's important to set boundaries with narcissists. Be clear about what you will and won't tolerate in the relationship. This can include things like disrespectful behavior, manipulation, or gaslighting.
Related Article: 5 Surprising Reasons Why Empaths Continually Attracted to Toxic People?
3. Maintain Emotional Detachment
Narcissists feed off emotional reactions, whether it's frustration, tears, or pleading. One of your strongest tools is learning to detach emotionally when they try to provoke you. This doesn’t mean becoming cold—it means choosing where to invest your energy wisely.
4. Accept Who They Are—Not Who You Wish They Were
One common trap for empaths is hoping the narcissist will change if they're loved enough. Instead, focus on accepting their patterns for what they truly are. Recognizing that their lack of empathy is deep-rooted helps you stop expecting emotional reciprocity.
5. Don't Engage in Power Struggles
Narcissists love to be in control and will often engage in power struggles. Don't take the bait. Instead, focus on maintaining your own sense of power and control in the relationship.
You don’t need to win an argument to win your peace. Sometimes, your silence and stillness are stronger than their loudest attempts to provoke you.
6. Practice Self-Care
Empaths often put others' needs before their own, but it's important to practice self-care in order to maintain your own emotional health and well-being.
This isn’t selfish — it’s survival. You can’t pour into others from an empty cup, and you deserve the same gentleness you give so freely to the world.
7. Respond, Don’t React
Rather than arguing or defending yourself, respond with neutrality. Short, unemotional replies and non-reactions can take the wind out of a narcissist’s manipulation attempts. This strategy not only protects your peace but also weakens their control over your emotions.8. Seek Support
Dealing with a narcissist can be emotionally draining. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you navigate the relationship.
You don’t have to face this alone—sometimes just having someone listen can lighten the weight you’re carrying. Sharing your story can be the first step toward healing.
9. Consider Ending the Relationship
If the relationship becomes too toxic or damaging, consider ending it. Remember that your own emotional health and well-being should always come first.
Choosing to walk away isn’t giving up—it’s choosing yourself. It’s okay to prioritize your peace over someone else’s need to control or hurt you.
In conclusion, empaths can outsmart narcissists by setting boundaries, staying calm, not taking things personally, keeping expectations realistic, avoiding power struggles, using the Gray Rock Method, practicing self-care, seeking support, and considering ending the relationship if necessary. By taking these steps, empaths can take control of the relationship and protect their own emotional health and well-being.