10 Things Narcissist Fear Most

A relationship with a narcissist is extremely toxic and stressful, leaving negative feelings of frustration and hopelessness in you.

You certainly know what is bothering you and what you do not like about your relationship with the narcissist. But have you ever wondered what upsets or frightens a narcissist?

Narcissists like to pretend that they’re all-powerful, all-knowing beings that can never be harmed. But regardless of how they act, there are actually quite a few things that strike fear deep into their hearts. Narcissists are known to be extremely vain and care only about themselves. The world itself revolves around them (or so they think).

These people are very fragile, with extremely low self-esteem. It seems obvious then, that there are many things that really scare them.

Let's talk about the top 10 things all narcissists fear most.

1 - Lack of attention

It is no secret that most narcissists rejoice with admiration and validation (with the exception of "covert narcissists"). They rely on constant approval to maintain their sense of intrinsic value. To achieve this goal, they absorb (or steal) other people's energy to feel good about themselves. Have you ever wondered why narcissists seem to care about negative attention?

That's because negative attention also fuels their narcissistic flames. Negative feelings are still a form of attention, and any form of attention gives them the incentive to keep going. It gives them the motivation to continue to prove themselves

In fact, they often like negative attention better because if you are still upset about their abuse rightfully, they can exploit it in order to deepen the trauma bond and keep you hooked and hooked! Therefore, lack of interest is a real threat. For the narcissist, indifference is more a problem than a hate. They would rather you have a negative opinion than not have an opinion at all. Narcissists cannot stand up when no one is paying attention to them.

They don't know how to feel important or special if they weren't at the center of the universe or consuming someone's thoughts

2 - When people speak realistically

Have you ever paid careful attention to how a narcissist speaks? They use excessive, long-standing language charged with great emotion. They distort reality to satisfy their worldview, and they believe their truth is always the truth. Plus, by using cognitive empathy, they've spent their entire lives observing the emotional language of others and using them to their advantage.

Therefore, when you speak the facts instead of using feelings, they understand intuitively that their upper hand is lower. Therefore, they hate when someone challenges them with facts instead of emotion. Usually they take their revenge with more controversy or hysteria. This childish response simply shows that they feel out of control. They try to heighten the conversation by triggering a tantrum.

If anything, this dynamic only highlights the immaturity of the narcissist. Their inability to comprehend the facts indicates their inefficiency in handling most adult interactions. They are not skilled at the language of facts because they always lie and hide things, so speaking the facts causes them to be completely out of balance.

3 - Saying no

Responding to them by saying "no" is one of the things a narcissist hates most, (nd actually following through with it)). Narcissists are accustomed to being manipulative and misled in their way of getting what they want. Often times, they will do everything they can to get the job done. They have spent their entire lives attracting people to meet their needs. This is why telling them to turn down - and insist on your position - often causes an angry reaction.

A narcissist just isn't fazed with denial - he's totally confused by it! Narcissists cannot actually understand why someone rejects them. Because they lack true compassion, they cannot understand what has to be on your mind. Moreover, even if they try to understand this, they refuse to accept this reality.

4 - Implementing the consequences of violating the boundaries

Have you ever tried to set boundaries with a narcissist? Did things go well? Most likely, you've tried to draw your boundaries, and they react in one of three ways:

Manipulating and gaslighting your feelings
False admission of their mistake, promising to change, and then doing nothing to change it
Respond with extreme anger, threats, or even physical violence

Narcissists cannot accept any real consequences. They cannot see if they are wrong, and they cannot understand how someone thinks they are wrong. And even if the narcissist understood this, he wouldn't care. As a result, it tends to respond disproportionately to boundaries and serious conversations as a way to intimidate you and force you to comply.

Unfortunately, many people simply give up on trying to implement consequences with a narcissist. Because they want to avoid a potential conflict, they give in and ignore their feelings. How many times have you avoided setting real boundaries because that is exactly the case?

5- Accept the loss

Narcissists can resemble young children, in that they tend to dismiss them as losers. They struggle to not accept the loss, and they also tend to be critical when this happens. Some scenarios may occur:
They repeatedly declared that the person in charge (the president / referee) was incompetent
They try to discredit or humiliate the winner
They pretend they don't care about winning
They refuse to accept that they lost and act awkwardly as if they were the actual winners (you may have experienced this by hearing, after letting go, that they told everyone they were the one who left you!)

6 - They cannot accept if the spotlight is off of them

Because they are losers who are not sporty, narcissists cannot handle being left out of the spotlight. They could not stand the threat of failure. For them, this public humiliation is the ultimate form of defeat. We all know narcissists have incredibly fragile egos.

When they think that someone is making fun of them or if they are not the expert or perceived authority in a public place, it upsets their presence. As a result, they would do anything to protect their fragile ego. Some common responses include:

Make violent or emotionally charged threats
Trying to disperse the audience by turning on them Screaming or fussing
Turn away in apparent anger Laughter and sarcasm
Fabricating lies about any person a real expert

7 - Maintain your self-awareness

Narcissists use the love-bombing to keep you mesmerized and captivated. They will win you over with their charm, intelligence, and cognitive compassion. It will make you feel special in ways you have never felt before (all through the use of cognitive empathy, of course).

But a narcissist never wants you to think for yourself. If you start to do that, he will interact with you. He will try to destroy you and sabotage you. It will make you doubt your abilities and question your motives. Self-awareness means that you may change the status quo

Narcissists hate change when it is out of their control. But when you stay with a narcissist, you remain in a pattern of defeat that is filled with resentment and frustration. Their goal is to reprogram your mind - and they will do everything they can to preserve their preferred status quo.

8 - Insults

Another thing narcissists really fear is humiliation. Narcissists are hypersensitive to insults, and the mere thought of being verbally abused can be a great source of fear. Anaphylaxis means that they suffer more "the sting" of the indignity than the average person. While the average person might be hurt and grieved by the insult, they will likely get over it in a matter of days or even hours. On the one hand, narcissists will feel offended as a crushing blow to their already fragile self-esteem, and will overtake it and take weeks on end. They may even never get over it (depending on the insult), or even plan some kind of revenge in response to the person who insulted them.

Another phenomenon that occurs with narcissists is that they sometimes visualize insults where there are no insults. These people are so insecure and paranoid that their minds will actually create insults when someone just makes an innocent comment on them This level of paranoia shows just how much a narcissist really is afraid of being offended.

9. Shame

The other thing narcissists really fear is shame. They really value their place in society, and they like to think that people value them. But it is an interesting point to make narcissists fear shame, not guilt. Feeling guilty might mean that he feels bad about hurting someone's feelings, or doing the wrong thing. It is widely accepted that true narcissists are incapable of feeling these feelings, because they find it impossible to put themselves in the shoes of others.

Shame is more difficult for narcissists, as this implies that they are being recognized by their community or their friends and given lesser status. Sometimes people who are dishonored are ostracized or even banished from society. Because narcissists value their pride and place in society so dearly, tasting a bitter feeling of shame and wounded ego can be one of the most terrifying experiences for them.

10- Gratitude

Gratitude, like regret, is another emotion seen as a sign of weakness by narcissists. For these people, gratitude means giving others authority over yourself. It's accepting that you owe something to someone. It also forces you to accept the fact that you might need someone else's help. For narcissists, they think of themselves as very powerful beings who outperform others.

Accepting someone else doing something that's valuable to them causes them to collapse to the ground. The idea that someone else gave them something they needed not only puts them on the same level as others, it also makes them feel weaker, or at the bottom of the social ladder. This is one of narcissists' greatest fears.

Sources:

kimsaeed.com/how-to-make-a-narcissist-miserable

psych2go.net/10-things-narcissists-fear

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Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer