Are Narcissists Aware of Their Disorder?

In an article published by Dr. Kim Saeed, an expert in recovering from narcissistic abuse, and author and author of How to Do No Contact Like a Boss, About whether the narcissist is aware of his disorder?.  Kim emphasized that when it comes to narcissists and their irrational behaviors, one of the most common questions that victims of narcissistic abuse ask is whether narcissists are aware of what they are doing.

There is a common misconception that if they are not aware of what they are doing, we should not hold them accountable for their seemingly unintentional mistakes. Instead, we should offer them empathy and try to help them with any “pain” they are experiencing that causes them to act in ways that are harmful to us.

There is one major flaw in this question – “Are narcissists aware of their disorder?” – in that it assumes that all narcissists fall under the same place on the disorder spectrum. No they are not. When it comes to narcissism, there are individuals who have few enough traits that they may not be recognized as having narcissistic personality disorder (a major flaw in the DSM criteria, where it only takes one pathological trait to completely destroy another person's life). 

There are also people who possess the dark Machiavellian and Psychopathic traits. These individuals are highly cunning and engage in dangerous forms of deception and manipulation. These are the people who can live two or three different lives behind the backs of their partners without being recognized.

Narcissists usually act on their feelings, which are largely stunted. They have very low emotional intelligence and have never developed any form of emotional resilience. This partly explains why they seem loving and caring one minute, yet they may seem to hate you the next. This generally happens when they experience narcissism, which is manifested in their tendency not to accept even the most innocent comments or questions. 

Since one can never tell what is going on in a narcissist's mind at any given moment, what they consider harmful one minute can be completely ignored in the next. So once you think you've come up with a solution in dealing with them, the rules will have changed.

While an undisturbed person thinks about how their words and actions affect others, narcissists do not. Because of this, many of their behaviors are the catalyst of the moment. There are some very deliberate actions they engage in, such as hiding evidence of an extramarital affair or falsifying someone else's name in a loan application, but they think it's all justified.

Many narcissists are aware, at one point or another, of the impact their behaviors have on others, but are completely indifferent to them. Narcissists see the results of their manipulation and abuse every day and still remain completely indifferent. By the time the love-pounding phase is over and your value is underestimated, you become their opponent, and thus for them, any pain or distress you experience is your fault. 

Are narcissists aware of their disorder?

Ultimately, whether a narcissist knows he is a narcissist is like asking the victim about their abuse if they were aware of what made them vulnerable to attracting this type of toxic individual. Most people only do this if they have gone through an abusive relationship with a narcissistic individual and have begun searching for answers about the narcissist's cruelty.

However, unlike individuals who learn and realize that they have traits that make them attractive to a narcissist and can therefore strive to develop healthier thoughts and habits to protect themselves, narcissists are not at all concerned with self-improvement...unless this is a temporary means to an end.

Read Also : 7 Myths About The narcissists

In conclusion, this is my opinion 

Narcissistic personality disorder is one of the personality disorders that represents a set of fixed traits or traits that characterize the individual, which arise with him since childhood as a result of the conditions of the environment in which he was raised and influenced the implantation of those traits, which crystallize in adolescence or the beginning of adulthood and the individual has a conviction It is difficult to change it no matter how difficult it is in life situations or the complaint of others about its dealings, because it has become a pattern and of course that distinguishes it.

Therefore, the individual is not clairvoyant that there is a problem in his life. He views others as having the problem and the cause of his adaptation problems, but it is accompanied by a degree of tension, psychological pressure, and imbalance in relationships, which sometimes causes anxiety or depression. Thus, the personality disorder, due to the difficulties in adapting the disordered person to his surroundings, leads to psychological diseases. 

In contrast to mental illness preceded by a period of normal, then followed by an explosive event of the disease leads to a clear emergence of symptoms and also that the individual who suffers from it and is fully aware of his problem, which is called “insight into the disease”

Thus, the troubled person in this case, when he goes to the therapist, does not go complaining about a disorder in his personality, but rather goes to him asking for help to get out of the cycles of depression or anxiety that he suffers because of the behavioral pattern that he brings in his surroundings, which is often socially unacceptable.

Related Article:  The Narcissistic Rage Circle & How To Respond