5 Projection Techniques Narcissists Use To Manipulate You
As a define on psychologytoday.com " Projection" is a defense mechanism commonly used by abusers, including people with narcissistic or a borderline personality disorder and addicts. Basically, they're saying, “It’s not me, it’s you!” When we project, we are defending ourselves against unconscious impulses or traits, either positive or negative, that we’ve denied in ourselves. Instead, we attribute them to others. Our thoughts or feelings about someone or something are too uncomfortable to acknowledge. In our mind we believe that the thought or emotion originates from that other person.
5 Ways Narcissists Project and Attack You
1. Playing the victim Role
A common narcissistic strategy is to play the victim. you hurt me! Poor, poor me. Instead of dealing with the issue with you or internally, they have no problem dragging others into it by lying and portraying you as the culprit and themselves as the victim. Often, this includes the aforementioned preemptive strike or provocation to elicit a reaction. For example, destroying your property, slandering you, turning people against you, or physically assaulting you. And then when you respond appropriately to their active or passive aggression, they can now say that you are the aggressor because you hurt them or that you are irrational because of your unacceptable brutal behavior
For narcissists, it is rarely about the truth and always about the perception of their audience. This way they get false proof that they are right and good, that you are wrong and evil. Here, their sense of self-esteem is restored and their feelings of shame and inadequacy are managed. So it's all well and good. Except for the ones who got hurt but who cares about them, right?
2. They mimic your emotional behavior .
Though narcissists are usually cold and unfeeling towards others, many of them are intelligent enough to recognize that emotions matter to other people. That is why, in order to convince someone of their authenticity, they mimic the emotional behaviors they see elsewhere that others find desirable. For example, if they see someone being kind to someone of lower status, they will mimic that behavior to manipulate you into believing they're nice people.
They claim the positive traits, achievements or characteristics of others, they discard their own negative features onto their victims. They may or may not be aware that it is happening, but it is happening nevertheless.
This whole process requires a lot of delusion, pretending, and deception. Sadly, many people fall for that and see the narcissist as this wonderful and amazing human being that they present themselves as, yet in actuality are lightyears from.
3. Guilt Tripping.
Narcissists play on your vulnerabilities, fears, and compassion by using guilt and pity ploys. They gain your trust by making believe they loved you. Their ploys may include threats to end the relationship, ignoring you (giving you the cold shoulder) or some other form of “punishment.” Narcissists generally find it easy to guilt you into getting what they want because of your kind, empathic, or “eager to please” nature.
This guilt-tripping method is the most common method that they use. They love to blame you for everything and break your self-esteem in that manner. And if they see you being unaffected by it, they might get frustrated, slip up and verbally attack you. It's best to just ignore them. Indifference is a powerful weapon against them.
4-They call you things that are not you.
A classic example, you cheat on me, when you're not, but you can bet they're
cheating on you. Or, you are selfish because you don't want to do what I tell
you to do. You think only of yourself, while they are the ones who constantly
make excuses, break promises, are unreliable, think only of themselves, or
compete with you. Not only that, they will forget all the things you already
did for them.
In their eyes, they are entitled to your resources (time,
money, energy), and they attacking you when you , can't, or don't give them
what they want.
They will use various methods of manipulation and abuse such as name-calling, sarcasm, bullying, triangulation, belittling, defamation, bad vibes, trolling, issue obfuscation, circumvention, guilt manipulation, teasing, unreasonable criticism, criticism, or clear verbal utterance offends each Something to make you feel bad and respond to their demands.
5-Triangulation.
According to healthline.com "Triangulation " refers to a specific behavior that can come up within a two-person conflict. This tactic can show up in nearly any type of relationship — between friends, family members, romantic partners, or even coworkers. Triangulation happens when one or both of the people involved in the conflict try to pull a third person into the dynamic, often with the goal of: deflecting some of the tension creating another conflict to take the spotlight off the original issue reinforcing their sense of rightness or superiority"
With narcissistic triangulation, conversations or disagreements between two people may turn into two-on-one situations. You may suddenly find yourself being excluded, and your protests being ignored and invalidated. This manipulative style can leave you feeling out of balance, if not more so. You may notice a creeping sense of insecurity and begin to doubt and question yourself.
Read Also: Triangulation - Narcissist 's Abuse Tactic
Sources
healthline.com/narcissistic-triangulation
psychcentral.com/narcissistic-projection
womenworking.com/narcissists-use-projection-to-manipulate-you-in
No comments
Post a Comment