5 Painful Truths Empaths Must Eventually Face In Relationship With Narcissists

5 Painful Truths Empaths Must Eventually Face In Relationship With Narcissists

What is An Empath

An empath is a person highly sensitive to the feelings and emotions of those around them. Empaths feel what another person is feeling at a deep emotional level.

The Empath's ability to discern what others are feeling goes beyond empathy, which is defined simply as the ability to understand the feelings of others. Instead, being an empath extends to absorb & actually taking those feelings on.

Dr. Judith Orloff, a pioneer in the field, describes empaths as those who absorb the world’s joys and stresses like “emotional sponges.”

"Empaths lack the filters most people use to protect themselves from excessive stimulation and can’t help but take in surrounding emotions and energies, whether they’re good, bad, or something in between. Orloff said

What Is Narcissist

The people with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) are  characterized by a sense of grandiosity, the need for attention and admiration, superficial interpersonal relationships, and a lack of empathy.  They are often unable Trusted Source to recognize the opinions and needs of others and are dismissive of others’ problems.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5) lists 9 criteria for NPD, but it specifies that someone only needs to meet 5 of them to clinically qualify as a narcissist.

• Grandiose sense of self-importance
• Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
• The belief they’re special and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions
• Need for excessive admiration
• Sense of entitlement
• Interpersonally exploitative behavior
• Lack of empathy
• Envy of others or a belief that others are envious of them
• Demonstration of arrogant and haughty behaviors or attitudes

Understanding The Relationship Between the Empath and Narcissist

Because they desire to be seen and loved in a level they have never been before, empaths are often drawn to narcissists.

Most empaths who never learned how to set strong boundaries are susceptible to partnerships based on dysfunction.

Your caregiver may have used manipulation and control to keep you in line with their expectations, which is the underlying reason of this dynamic.

The Empath is usually unconscious of this manipulation because it feels normal to them it feels like home felt as a child.

They believe they are only worthy of love if their narcissistic partner shows it to them, and they think they will succeed  if they can elicit the affections of someone who is incapable of giving love. then they are genuinely deserving of affection.

They attempt to heal the wounded narcissist, hoping that once healed, the narcissist will provide the empath with the love and validation they so desperately desire.

However, as narcissists are frequently unwilling or unable to change, trying to change them is usually a futile endeavor. If the empath is ever to experience true bliss, they must accept this.

Because it is a familiar situation, an empath will unconsciously seek out a relationship with the narcissist.

It is a technique for acting out the past while attempting to alter the result. Most empaths were not provided the unconditional love a child requires since they were raised by narcissistic parents who ignored their emotional needs.

Narcissists tend to have low self-esteem, and they are looking for someone who will validate their worth. Empaths, on the other hand, are deeply compassionate and often see the best in people. As a result, they may be drawn to try and help the narcissist change for the better. Unfortunately, this rarely works out.

Here are 5 Painful Truths Empaths Must Eventually Face In Relationship With Narcissists:

1- You Can't change a narcissist

A narcissist will not change as they are not capable of the self-awareness or self-criticism or even compassion for the suffering of others that is needed to drive the change. The basis of a narcissistic personality is that they have exaggerated ideas of self-importance. To them, they are never wrong. If at all it is possible, the need for change should have to come from within a narcissist to improve their own condition.

2- Narcissist Can't be faithful

It is difficult for a narcissist to be faithful since they are easily drawn to admiration and flattery from anywhere. When a narcissist is an unfaithful partner, when it comes to love, their lack of empathy means they have next to no loyalty, which means many of them often end up cheating on their partners..

3. Narcissists are manipulation experts.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist means you surrounded with  a lot of belittling—whether in private or in public, the narcissist won’t hesitate to put you down and expose your insecurities, especially in front of your friends or family members. They'll simply remark something like, "Relax, that was just a joke,Can't you take a joke, ?" to cover up  their sarcasm. 

Narcissists pretend to be the victim. They either gaslight you by twisting the truth and persuading you that it's not how it happened or it's not what they said since they can't take responsibility for their actions.

They will distort all of your defenses while claiming to be the victim and saying, "I have to live this nightmare with you every single day." See? You're just trying to pick a fight with me all the time. Are you even interested in being with me? I can assure you that I never stated anything like that. Are you insane?

Related Article:  5 Reasons Why Empaths Attract Toxic People

4. Narcissists have a split personality.

The narcissist's fake love come with twist.Narcissists usually start out a relationship being sweet and caring ,showering you with the love & attention you are looking fir.Then they switch to their usual selves, once they get you hooked. It seems as though you barely know the person you are with beyond that point.

You might think you've discovered the one for a moment, but then you start to wonder who the person in front of you is. The problem is that because these changes take time to manifest, at first you believe that you are to blame for your partner's suffering.

With repeated attempts to correct their mistakes and bad behaviors, over time you become aware that it’s not you, it’s them, They give you crumbs of the same old magic that got you caught in the web of love, and they keep getting trapped in their web of lies.

5- Narcissists Are Not Attracted to Empaths

Narcissists are not attracted to empaths. Narcissists are attracted to people with porous boundaries and people-pleasing tendencies, who often are highly dependent on other people and struggle with feelings of anxiety, burnout and the need to please others. They are likely to: Struggle to say no to other people's requests or demands.

Narcissist, is not a defining characteristic of an empath, it’s a defining characteristic of codependency. A narcissist can display both overt and covert narcissistic tendencies, they don’t have to be one or the other.

Read Also :  8 Manipulative Tactics Narcissists Use To Keep You Trapped