5 Essential Tips If You Are Divorcing a Narcissist
Marrying a narcissist is stressful and hard to bear, but getting a divorce from a narcissist can be even more difficult. However, this is not impossible. There are many procedures and steps to help you survive the painful and complex process of divorcing a narcissist or someone with narcissistic traits so that you can move on with your life.
Why is Divorce from a Narcissist is Hard?
It's no surprise that the narcissist's being a controlling and manipulative person makes them believe they are a victim in every situation, which leads them to act without pity or respect for your feelings.
A narcissist's victim mentality may lead to other harmful behaviors as well. Bullying is likely to be a major tactic your spouse will stick to, especially as you progress toward settlement negotiations. Their sense of entitlement and arrogant attitude make them feel justified to ask for more than their fair share of your marital assets.
When to divorce a Narcissist
Narcissistic partners tend to engage in narcissistic abuse, using abusive, manipulative tactics to hide their unfavorable traits and manipulate, cheat their partners. Sometimes, this can cause partners to develop narcissistic abuse syndrome. Emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse or sexual coercion should never be tolerated, and is always grounds for leaving a relationship.
- You’re beginning to use substances to cope
- You have thoughts of self-harm
- You’re being physically abused
- You’re being humiliated, intimidated or dismissed
- You’re experiencing persistent anxiety or depression
- You’re being sexual abused or coerced
- Your partner is constantly monitoring you
- You’re being emotionally manipulated or gaslit
- Your partner is excessively jealous
- You’ve withdrawn from friends and family
Here are some steps you can take to get through this difficult time.
1-Get your documents ready.
After you file for divorce, a narcissistic spouse could restrict your access to important documents. Make sure you have access to any bank statements, asset statements, and documentation pertaining to investment income before continuing. You should carefully analyze and store any information concerning your current financial situation in case you ever need it.
In order for a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or divorce lawyer to have a realistic assessment of your financial situation, you must have all of your documents organized and accessible. Then, in order to receive everything to which you are actually entitled, you can assist them in drafting a reasonable settlement.
2-Find the right divorce lawyer.
You'll need a divorce lawyer with excellent communication skills if your spouse is uncooperative or egotistical. Your lawyer should be able to convince the judge of your right to marital property if your case ever goes to trial.
Lack of communication skills can also make an attorney vulnerable to abuse from a narcissistic spouse. Your future financial security may be at risk if your attorney fails to persuade the judge or vigorously defend your rights during settlement discussions. If they are bad at negotiating, you won't get everything you are entitled to.
Be ready for the increased cost of working with the top divorce teams and attorneys in your area. Instead of hiring an inexperienced or ineffective divorce attorney.
3-Make an effort to communicate without emotion.
Narcissists want to portray you in the worst possible way. You should be more careful while responding to any of their message or emails with strong emotions, particularly rage. Any extreme emotion can be used against you in court to make you seem unreasonable, unstable, or too angry. Even a seemingly little exchange can be changed or modified to make you seem insane in front of a judge.
Record & document every conversation you have with the narcissist, including emails and voice message. This strategic action guarantees that you are recording their emotional response to the situation. Additionally, it may enable you to catch your partner lying and reveal their actual true face in court.
Read Also: 7 Things You Should Never Do When Breaking Up With A Narcissist
4-Please heed the court's directives.
A narcissistic spouse frequently thinks that they are exempt from the law. At times, they can believe that nothing—not even a judge-signed court order—can hold them accountable. If you get this impression, your spouse may be trying to disobey any court orders pertaining to child support, alimony, visitation, or communication.
A narcissist enjoys using their influence and authority over you. They could therefore alter court orders to suit their needs. It is merely an additional avenue for them to pursue their hobby.
Therefore, whether or not your spouse disobeys the court order, be prepared and willing to go back to court. Never give in to pressure to make an exception, even if it seems like a minor matter.
Even after the divorce proceeds, keep the lines of communication open with your attorney. You may need your lawyer to represent you again in the future in the event you experience any harassment or threat from the narcissist
5-Setting boundaries.
Narcissists are masters at manipulation and Turning situations in their favor. Especially if there are children involved, setting clear boundaries is essential during the divorce process. For instance, a narcissistic parent would try to convince you to alter the parenting routine to accommodate them. But you should always follow the custody plan that the court has arranged. once you begin to compromise with your ex, they will likely begin to take advantage of the situation.
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