7 Things A Narcissist Does To Keep You From Leaving Them

Narcissistic relationships are formed when one or both partners struggle with a narcissistic personality. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) has been defined by the Mayo Clinic as “a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and have a deep need for admiration.

People with narcissistic personality disorder believe that they are superior to others and do not care much about the feelings of others. But behind This mask of overconfidence lies in a fragile self-esteem, susceptible to impressionability and rejecting the slightest criticism.

If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, I don't have to tell you that it won't be easy. They will do everything they can to hide the fact that they are manipulating you. However, you can escape from the narcissist's hell and it will be easier if you know the methods they use to prevent you from leaving. Awareness and knowledge are key, and if you can recognize the manipulative practices being used against you, you can avoid becoming a victim of them and avoid them.

Here're The Usual Tricks A Narcissist use To Keep You From Leaving Them

1. Ghosting and then contacting you out of the blue.

So imagine that you managed to break up with the narcissist. I avoided all forms of contact with him. You start the process of rebuilding yourself thinking that things are OK now, and all of a sudden you find this narcissist popping up unexpectedly for you. They may wait until something bad happens to you and send you a message of support and sympathy.

They might also send you a tragic message telling you that they can't feel happy without you. But this is just a spider's way to lure you back into his web. Chances are, narcissists know you've been honest with them and they know your weaknesses. They will target properly as they know they can get you through your weaknesses, so don't give them a chance. Remember that they don't really care about your happiness. They just want to get as much use out of you as they can before they leave you and head for a new victim.

2. They will shower you with feelings of affection.

When you get into a relationship with a narcissist, he will look at you as if you were the sun and moon to him. They will treat you as if you are the person they cares about more than anyone else in the entire world and will do it so well that you fall in love with him. And when things deteriorate, they'll stir all this up so they can get you back in.

Imagine a puppy being mistreated most of the time but rewarded with some affectionate petting and food on occasion. It will still love its owner and endure abuse for these few good times. In this case, you are that pup. A narcissist will kick you all the time but sometimes, they will treat you with some love and you will fall in love with them. This really works for people who don't have much confidence in themselves.

They will be looking for this little candy in the middle of the garbage dump that represents their relationship. So if a narcissist does this to you, don't let go of the memories of the bad treatment. Just pack your bags and leave.

3. Exaggerated promises that they will change.

Once you are able to leave them, they will wait a while before calling you and letting you know that they are getting professional help in order to improve their behavior. They will try to prove that they are making a real effort. This may weaken your position. You loved them so much and it was hard for you to let them go. Now they are playing on your heart strings and showing you all the good that you have tried for so long to see in them. But remember, these are all lies. Narcissists are masters of manipulation and know that this technique works well.

4. Playing on the chord of the savior knot in you.

We all feel good about saving someone and the narcissist is well aware of that and will use it against you. He may tell you that his new partner is abusive and that he/she needs help getting out. There may be a fake suicide attempt, or they are in some difficult situation that only you can help them get rid of and so on. It's a very good tactic because it's a win-win situation. You can offer help but it only means that they are bringing you back into the vicious relationship that took you so long to get out of. If you don't rush to stand by them, it will stir up guilt and you will feel like a horrible human being for abandoning them when they needed you.

You'll feel like they only came to you because they care so much about you and can't live without you. But really, beware of this tactic because its motivations run much deeper than you might think. They will do their best to come up with a compelling back story, and if you are not influenced by it, they will ensure that you are paid for by negative feelings.

Recommended: 5 Ways To Outsmart A Narcissist

5. Spreading lies & fake stories about you.

Your resilience to their manipulation may prompt them to revert to their former narcissism so that they can show themselves that they are not a bad person. This happens because of all the fake stories narcissists spread after you leave them. You should be careful if the narcissist generally knows the people you have a strong relationship with because they will tell them these fake tales to make them think that you are the devil incarnate. A lot of people will cut off from you or suddenly change their attitude towards you, and even people you have never met will judge you wrongly for things you never did or did before in order to be free.

They will continue this approach until you find yourself in an awkward position where you have to reach out to them in order to repair your standing in society. And you will have to say sorry for hurting them, even if all you did was tell them they hurt you. You will beg to be brought back even though it took a lot of your strength to finally let them go. Remember that you are worth more than you are being paid for, so don't put yourself down for their own good. Your true friends will be there for you because they really know what you've been through.

6. BREAK YOU DOWN

A narcissist so intelligently breaks down their partner that they demolish their self-esteem and self-confidence to the point that this partner may not believe that anyone else wants them at all. Even the belief that he cannot do better or deserve better. The demolition process is so cleverly executed that this happens without the victim even realizing it, and often the partner is first isolated from their close circle of friends and less attached to the family so as not to allow them to question or suspect what the narcissist is doing. This method leaves the partner alone and without anyone to turn to, even his friends and family members who see his negative change, but are unable to help because their communication with him is limited.

7. Guilt and blame.

The moment a partner tries to let go of the narcissist they find themselves deeply blamed for all the issues, creating an environment of guilt and blame. The partner is left trapped in a state of questioning in their actions, movements and behaviors as they are blamed for the abuse. Whether they are told they have problems, are hypersensitive or have mental health issues, the narcissist is a master of manipulation, forcing the partner to question whether they know themselves well. This is often mentally abusive and intensifies the self-doubt that was already there to the point that the partner doesn't even know who he is or what he's thinking anymore

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Ali Mousa Relationship Blogger & writer